SEASONS OF SUFFERING
“…after you have suffered a little while…” (1 Peter 5:10 NLT).
Even though, the bible says, “…Christ … [already] suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps…” (1 Peter 2:21 KJV), the bible also says to“…[entrust yourselves]…to him who judges justly” (1 Peter 2:19-23 NIV). ). “Seasons of suffering” are not that simple or cut and dry.
What does it mean, “…after you have suffered a little while…” or after a “season of suffering?” (1 Peter 5:10 NLT). This verse implies that there will be “a little” suffering to some degree or duration, but it will pass based on the word “after.” I will be using the terms “seasons of suffering,” or tests, or trails, or tribulations interchangeably.
Therefore, suffering, no matter how severe, is temporary and the bible says, “…the suffering of this present time ARE NOT worthy to be compared with the glory (compared to God’s presence, goodness, or working power) which shall be revealed in us…” (Romans 8:18 KJV). “For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory” (2 Corinthians 4:17 KJV).
It is comforting to know Jesus suffers with us, enables us to endure suffering, absorbs the pain of our suffering, which he took upon the cross; yet we STILL have to go through or experience it. “…After YOU have suffered a little while…” (1 Peter 5:10 NLT).
“Seasons of suffering” may include: the loss of a significant love one, an unexpected medical diagnosis, a divorce, infidelity, a wayward child, loss of viable income, reduction in wealth, a foreclosure on a home, some type of disability, a pandemic, a type of abuse, brain surgery, rape, incest, war injuries, mental illness, or any number of horrendous experiences. “... We [face]… conflict from every direction, with battles on the outside and fear on the inside…” (2 Corinthians 7:5 KJV).
Our initial reactions are not necessarily spiritual. We are only human and “seasons of suffering” usually rock us to the very core. Job was only human and was of course, saddened and heartbroken over his loses: “Then Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head (OT behaviors for sadness, grief, or sorrow)…” (Job 1:20-22 NASB).
Job went through a horrific “season of suffering” and felt all the common, human emotions about it. “...I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!...” (Mark 9:24 NIV). Even if you are a staunch believer, faithfully trusting in all of God’s promises; you are only human.
It is typical to go through a period of doubt, or sadness, or grief, or attitude, when being tested. “…I walk around filled with grief…” (Psalms 38:6 NLT). Even though Jesus was the resurrection and the life, he was sad about Lazarus’ death. “….Jesus wept…” (John 11:25, 35 KJV).
“Seasons of suffering” will elicit a response of shock, sadness, confusion, questions, fear, grief, or disappointment. “I am bent over and racked with pain. All day long I walk around filled with grief…” (Psalms 38:6 NLT).
“Seasons of suffering” can rip through the heart like a bulldozer and suddenly you are propelled into some alternate reality. King David said, “…I am desolate and afflicted. The troubles of my heart are enlarged: O bring thou me out of my distresses. Look upon mine affliction…” (Psalms 25:16-18 KJV).
When “seasons of suffering” appear on the scenes of our life, they are hard to accept. “...Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me?...” (Psalm 43:5 KJV). One moment Job had a huge family and the next moment, he had no family at all. “Then Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head…” (Job 1:20-22 NASB).
The reality of that kind of drastic change is overwhelming and hard for the human psyche to comprehend initially. “...Why art thou cast down, O my soul? …” (Psalm 43:5 KJV).
Job’s “season of suffering” started like this: “..One day when Job’s sons and daughters were feasting and drinking wine at the oldest brother’s house, a messenger came to Job and said, “The oxen were plowing and the donkeys were grazing nearby, and the Sabeans attacked and made off with them. They put the servants to the sword, and I am the only one who has escaped to tell you!” While he was still speaking, another messenger came and said, “The fire of God fell from the heavens and burned up the sheep and the servants, and I am the only one who has escaped to tell you!” While he was still speaking, another messenger came and said, “The Chaldeans formed three raiding parties and swept down on your camels and made off with them. They put the servants to the sword, and I am the only one who has escaped to tell you!” While he was still speaking, yet another messenger came and said, “Your sons and daughters were feasting and drinking wine at the oldest brother’s house, when suddenly a mighty wind swept in from the desert and struck the four corners of the house. It collapsed on them and they are dead, and I am the only one who has escaped to tell you!...” (Job 1:13-20 NIV).
This “season of suffering” included Job’s health. “…Satan….smote Job with boils from the sole of his feet unto his crown…” (Job 2:7 KJV).
This “season of suffering” included relational issues too. Job’s wife said, “…Doest thou still retain thine integrity? Curse God and die…” (Job 2:9 KJV).
“Then Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head (ancient Near East behavior for sadness, grief, or sorrow)…” (Job 1:20-22 NASB).
These are some harsh loses: family, prosperity, status, health, relationships, etc. In addition, sudden losses leave you with a sense of helplessness, or loss of control.
When I received the news that I had a brain bleed I didn’t believe it. I went through a period of denial. This happens to other people, not me. I didn’t blame God. I didn’t blame anyone. It wasn’t hereditary, so I couldn’t blame my family either.
My brain bleed was caused by an arteriovenous malformation or AVM for short. It was a one in a million medical condition and I was the statistical one in the million.
Once I was diagnosed everything happened swiftly after that and before I could blink I was at Georgetown University Hospital. I was admitted on a Wednesday and on the following Tuesday I was scheduled to have brain surgery. However, I had a seizure instead and ended up having surgery two days later. I was in a coma for a few days and stayed in ICU for almost a month.
After ICU, I was sent to Medstar National Rehabilitation Hospital for another two months. During my stay in the Rehab Hospital I was inundated with daily therapy sessions, such as occupational therapy, speech therapy, and physical therapy. In addition, I was assigned a neuropsychologist.
While talking to the neuropsychologist I realized I was angry and she did too. Initially, I didn’t know what I was angry about, but I was angry nonetheless. It takes a while for your mind to catch up with the reality of your new situation. While being counseled, I learned I was now considered disabled. I wasn’t ready to face that. I asked one of the nurses “Who you calling disabled?” She said, “YOU.” I wasn’t ready to face that.
It was true nonetheless and my new, inescapable vulnerability also made me angry. I was totally dependent on others for my care. I was so emotional about it and would cry at the drop of a hat for no conscionable reason. My anger had no real target either, but I was mad at everything and everybody anyway. Deep inside I knew it was no one’s fault, yet I was angry that the brain bleed happened in the first place.
I tried to control the anger, because I would feel guilty for taking my attitude out on someone else. I had to apologize to my neuropsychologist on a couple of occasions. Why was I angry? I had lost my health and I was now considered disabled because my brain surgery had highly impacted my balance.
Loss, whatever the loss, always paves the way for grief. “…I walk around filled with grief…” (Psalms 38:6 NLT). Grieving is unique to each individual and is an extremely personal process. Grief has no steps, or levels, or stages, or exact procedures; it simple requires a process of time.
After a period of anger I went through a mild period of depression. I am normally an optimistic individual, but my imbalance limited my independence and mobility. I couldn’t drive or do things “I” wanted to do, but was at the mercy of others. It made me sad. I missed my own lifestyle, my own independence, and doing my own thing.
Living with imbalance, due to an AVM, is challenging and the brain is SLOW to heal. I learned that medical doctors treat you, but only God can truly heal you. “…for I am the LORD that healeth thee” (Exodus 15:26 KJV). I had to come to the reality that healing from my disability was in God’s hand. God was healing me in his timing and on his schedule, not mine.
In the meantime, God led me to accept and receive the love, caregiving, and support of friends and family. When you get sick, you will be surprised to find out who your “real” friends and family are and disappointed to find out who is not your “real” friend or family. WHOA!!! In addition, I wrote books, which I enjoyed and it made me feel better by giving me a sense of purpose. In fact, you are reading one of them now.
I concluded, I am merely the clay, NOT the POTTER. “...O Jehovah, thou art our Father; we are the clay, and thou our potter; and we (all redeemed souls) ...are the work of thy hand...” (Isaiah 64:8 NASB).God made everyone. “...[God]...Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous...You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born...” (Psalms 139:14-16 NLT).
Eventually, I began to submit to the reality of my “season of suffering.” I begin to understand it was only temporary, God was in control, and made my peace with the process. “The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord…” (Psalms 37:23 KJV). This is the part of the process where I truly began to “… [entrust myself] to him who judges justly…” (1 Peter 2:20-23 NIV).
“…I [began to learn] … to be content whatever the circumstances. I know [now] what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I … learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want” Philippians 4:11-12 NIV). Truly, “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” (Philippians 4:13 KJV).
Learning to trust and depend upon God, during a “season of suffering,” is a deeply personal experience. God can help you process through a “season of suffering” better than anyone. God understands suffering. “…Christ suffered for you…” (1 Peter 2:20-23 NIV).
Thus God will help you through the entire process and soothe all your emotional experiences. “…Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted...” (Matthew 5:4 KJV).
Friends and family are very helpful, but sometimes it is difficult to share the challenge or depth of your journey with them like you can with God. “..[Jesus is able]… to empathize with our ...[EVERY]...weakness…” (Hebrews 4:15 NIV).
With God, you can face the deep emotional grief and sadness that comes with the “season of suffering.” God understands in a way that promotes supernatural healing. “...Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; Who comforteth us in all our tribulation…”(2 Corinthians 1:3-4 KJV).
I absolutely DID NOT like this “season of suffering” It radically changed my entire life. I went from a comfortable, but unexciting complacency to an uncomfortable, but exciting walk of faith. Eventually, my uncomfortable, but exciting walk of faith became my peaceful, Christ-enabled contentment. “…I [learned] … to be content whatever the circumstances. I … learned the secret of being content in any and every situation…” Philippians 4:11-12 NIV). “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” (Philippians 4:13 KJV).
I prayed for God to change several things in my life, but I wanted him to change them my way so that my life remained comfortably complacent in the process. That’s not God’s style. "…Behold, I will do something new, Now it will spring forth; Will you not be aware of it? I will even make a roadway in the wilderness…” (Isaiah 43:19-20 NASB). "I am the LORD, that is My name; I will not give My glory to another, Nor My praise to graven images... "Behold, the former things have come to pass, Now I declare new things; Before they spring forth I proclaim them to you." (Isaiah 42:9 NASB).
If you want “something new” you are asking God for something fresh, unfamiliar, or different, right? So what will God do? “I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along “unfamiliar” paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them” (Isaiah 42:16 NIV).
Don’t ask God for change and continue to hold on to your comfort and complacency for dear life. “…You skillfully ….hold on to your own tradition...” (Mark 7:9 NLT). A “season of suffering,” no matter how devastating, may be your answer to prayer. God “… is able to do [or answer prayer]… exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think…” (Ephesians 3:20 KJV). Hard trials will, no doubt, make you question God and make you wonder how this “suffering” is answering your prayer. Yet, “…[entrust yourself]…to him who judges justly” (1 Peter 2:19-23 NIV).
And remember, “…Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him” (1 Corinthians 2:9 KJV). So like it or not, a “season of suffering” demonstrates that many of God’s ways are simply “…past [our ability] to [find them] out…” (Romans 11:33 KJV).
My conclusion to these truths is that God is in control and I am NOT. Comfortable complacency is about “YOUR” control. Taking a risk and walking by faith may seem the same to some and feel the same, but they have very different foundations. One is based on a whim or your control and the other is based on God and his control. “… I am God, and there is none else… I am God, and there is none like me…I will do all my pleasure…" (Isaiah 46:9-10 KJV).
"Remember the former things of old: for I am God, and there is none else; I am God, and there is none like me, Declaring the end from the beginning, and from ancient times the things that are not yet done, saying, My counsel shall stand, and I will do all my pleasure…" (Isaiah 46:9-10 KJV).
“See now that I, even I, am he, and there is no god with me: I kill, and I make alive; I wound, and I heal: neither is there any that can deliver out of my hand"(Deuteronomy 32:39 KJV).
“God that made the world and all things therein, seeing that he is Lord of heaven and earth, dwelleth not in temples made with hands; Neither is worshipped with men's hands, as though he needed any thing, seeing he giveth to all life, and breath, and all things." (Acts 17:24-25 KJV).
I didn’t like what had happened to me, but I AM NOT in control. “...O man, who art thou that repliest against God? Shall the thing formed say to him that formed it, Why hast thou made me thus? Hath not the potter power over the clay...?” (Romans 9:20-21 KJV).
I had to face the truth. I AM NOT in control. God is in control. “…How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone. What you ought to say is, “If the Lord wants us to, we will live and do this or that.
Otherwise you are boasting about your own pretentious plans, and all such boasting is evil” (James 4:15-16 NLT). “…For that ye ought to say, If the Lord will, we shall live, and do this, or that” (James 4:16 KJV).
I had a brain bleed. I couldn’t heal myself. I couldn’t make my balance return when “I” wanted it to return or in my timing. I couldn’t be independent. I couldn’t drive. I couldn’t go where and when I wanted to go. I couldn’t be in my own home. I couldn’t live the life I once lived. I couldn’t live in my own state. I couldn’t make people around me act the way I wanted them to act. I couldn’t. I couldn’t. I couldn’t. My control took a roller coaster ride right off the tracks. “…If the Lord will, [I] shall live, and do this, or that...” (James 4:16 KJV).
I DON’T run the show; I’m NOT in control, and I DON’T do what I want to do.” The bible says, “…those who walk in pride (self-control and not God’s). [God] is able to humble” (Daniel 4:37 NIV). “…If the Lord will, [I] shall live, and do this, or that...” (James 4:16 KJV).
I thought I had given God control, but evidently not total control. I needed to grow deeper in humility and respect for God’s sovereign control. This is so new and so fresh I am still undergoing the lesson. But I will share it with you in hope it will help you. Being transparent is the pits!
Before my brain bleed I was already going through a long “season of suffering.” I had gone through years of suffering, in fact. I had given up, and grown weary. Further, I had become comfortably complacent about it.
First of all, I had accepted the long “season of suffering” as my faithfulness to God, but not necessarily his faithfulness to me. “Poor me” I underwent my long-term test thinking I’m being a martyr for Christ and enduring my share of suffering. I wasn’t. I was however, walking in complacency, but not faith.
I had learned to adapt to my test and control its impact to a certain degree. In the beginning of my journey, I was more fervent about overcoming my test by faith, but as time tarried on my enthusiasm faded tremendously. I had come to the conclusion that God wasn’t going to change my situation and maybe he couldn’t change it anyway.
So I adapted to the “season of suffering” and became comfortably complacent about it. I remained faithful and loyal to God, but I had grown weary, given up, lost interest, laid it down, and became detached from ever overcoming my test.
My ongoing prayer about my “season of suffering” went from asking God to give me the strength to overcome it - to give me the strength to live through it. We actually need both; the strength to overcome and the strength to get through. However, I was ONLY praying for the strength to get through.
In all honesty, I felt my “season of suffering” was like Lazarus, buried so long; “… by this time, [it] stinketh: for [it]…hath been dead for …[years] …” (John 11:39 KJV). I still had some small tidbit of hope. Thankfully, God “…dealt to every man(woman) the measure of faith...” (Romans 12:3 KJV).
I had my “..measure of faith…” Yet and still, I felt if God could truly change my “season of suffering” - it wouldn’t have died out. I related to Martha feelings. “… As soon as she heard that Jesus was coming … Lord, if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died… ” (John 11:20-22 KJV).
After so many years, I concluded that God had abandoned me or trapped me in my long-term “season of suffering.” I was “humbly” accepting it by becoming complacent. “Poor me, the suffering little martyr.”
Whether I knew it or not, I wasn’t walking by faith to overcome the test, but simple trying to get through it or survive it. “…In the world ye have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33 ASV). I believed this verse to be God’s absolute truth, but not for my long-term test.
I prayed and depended upon Jesus to change and deliver me from many other things, but NOT my long “season of suffering” This test had become like a brick wall to me and no matter how much I hammered it; it was only getting thicker as time travelled on.
Somewhere along the way, I laid my hope or my hammer down. I heard God say through Jesus “...I have overcome…” (John 6:33 KJV). If Jesus said “I have overcome…” then I have too! I win, right?!!! I laid that truth down, anyway, in regard to my long-term “season of suffering.”
In addition, without knowing it; I started doubting God’s ability to overcome my test, control it, change it, fix it, or do the impossible with it. The long, enduring test made no sense to me anymore, too many years had passed, and the persistent trial was a constant neon sign of its presence. Furthermore, my so-called perceived evidence (walking by sight, not faith) told me that God couldn’t overcome this one.
Neither could I overcome it. Did I think because I couldn’t change things, neither could the ALMIGHTY God? “…thou thoughtest that I was altogether such an one as thyself…“(Psalm 50:19-21 KJV). I was tired, weak, and without, I thought, sufficient hope.
Did I lay my hope down because I didn’t believe “I” could overcome it or that God couldn’t?
When did I start thinking I was in control of the test or its outcome? When did I start believing in my puny power and not the power of the Almighty God? I know how Job felt when he said, “…Now I have seen you with my own eyes. I take back everything I said [and did], and I sit in dust and ashes to show my repentance” (Job 42:1-6 NLT). I got it wrong and “…thoughtest that [God]… was altogether such an one as [myself]…“(Psalm 50:19-21 KJV).
I AM FINITE. I AM NOT IN CONTROL. I CAN’T DO ANYTHING MIRACULOUS WITHOUT GOD. IT IS GOD’S WILL THAT IS TO BE DONE AND NOT MINE. IT IS GOD’S WILL TO BE DONE, IN HIS TIMING AND NOT MINE. I AM JUST A HUMAN VESSEL. I AM THE CLAY AND HE IS THE POTTER. WITHOUT GOD, I CAN DO NOTHING AND I AM WEAK, but GOD!! I am not shouting at you. I am just emphasizing those facts.
It is hard to look at the places you have held on to your pride. Only God knows what it will take to get your attention and humble you. Pride will puff you up falsely, but God will humble you authentically. Even during a test, you can begin to think more highly of yourself than you should.
When did I take control of my test from God? What made me think “I” could turn it around? Laying down my hope was the same as falling down off a pedestal. “Pride [goeth] before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall” (Proverbs 16:18 KJV). “A man's pride shall bring him(her) low…” (Proverbs 29:23 KJV). “For if a man(woman) think himself(herself) to be something, when he(she) is nothing, he deceiveth himself” (Galatians 6:3 KJV). “…thou thoughtest that I was altogether such an one as thyself…“(Psalm 50:19-21 KJV).
I didn’t know that pride was an issue until my brain bleed, but God did. Thankfully, God, “…you have searched me, Lord, and you know me …you are familiar with all my ways” (Psalm 139:1-3 KJV). “…And those who walk in pride …[God] is able to humble” (Daniel 4 NIV). Like Job, “…I take back everything I said [thought or did), and I sit in dust and ashes to show my repentance” (Job 42:1-6 NLT).
It took my LONG “season of suffering” and my new “season of suffering” to further humble me and give me a deeper respect for God’s sovereignty. Only the Sovereign God knows how to work “…all things… together for GOOD to them that LOVE [HIM], to them who are THE CALLED to his purpose” (Romans 8:28 KJV).
The good comes out of all the spiritual growth and development. Satan “…intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives” Genesis 50:20 NIV).
My suffering has proved God’s love, for me, yet again and his desire for my utmost holiness (freedom from sin). We continue to love him deeper and deeper, because he continues to show the depth of his love for us. “We love, because he first loved us” (1 John 4:19 ASV).
Satan “…intended to harm me, but [the loving]…God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives” Genesis 50:20 NIV). God cancels Satan’s intended harm and overrules it by working “…all things …together for GOOD… ” (Romans 8:28 KJV).
Satan may form destructive events against us, but they won’t prosper. “No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and their righteousness is of me, saith the LORD” (Isaiah 54:17 KJV).
Satan may FORM his many events and devices and we may grow tired, weary, hopeless, and weak in the process, but hold on to God’s hand. “… I can of mine own self do nothing…” John 5:30 KJV). However, “…the things which are impossible with men(women) are possible with God…” (Luke 18:27 KJV).
I admit I had grown tired from my LONG “season of suffering” as well as weary, hopeless, and weak. God counsels us about that. “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up” (Galatians 6:9 NIV). “But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint” (Isaiah 40:31 KJV).
God says, don’t get weary, but “…only believe…” that, “…I will supply all your NEED…” (John 12:32 & Philippians 4:19 KJV). HALLELUJAH!!!
When I was at my utmost weakest, my faithful Creator says I was really at my strongest!!! “…[God’s] grace is sufficient for you, for [his] power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me” (2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV).
The truth is, “….apart from [Christ]…, you can do nothing…”(John 15:5 NIV). However, “…[You] can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth [you]…” (Philippians 4:13 KJV). “…for [HIS]… power is made perfect in weakness…” (2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV). Even though I got weak and weary, God’s, “…grace [became]…sufficient for [me (2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV).
God’s sufficient Grace reminds me of the generator that kicks in when your electricity goes out, during a storm.
In both of my “seasons of suffering” God’s grace is revealed, experienced, and undeservingly available to me in abundance!! Praises to “…the incomparable riches of his GRACE, expressed in his kindness in Christ Jesus...”
“…My God will supply all [your need]… according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus…” (Philippians 4:19 NASB). “…what is the riches of the glory…; …CHRIST IN YOU…” (Colossians 1:25-28 KJV). “…I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me…” (Philippians 4:13 KJV).
I have NO CHOICE, but to be victorious and overcome “in” Christ Jesus. “…In this [fallen] world [I] shall have tribulation (no matter how LONG): but [I can]…be of good cheer, [God has]… OVERCOME the world…” (John 16:33 KJV).
Jesus is assuring you and I of the victory and is deeming it already DONE and WON. Whatever the “season of suffering” or test, or trial, or tribulation, Jesus has already overcome it and his victory is YOURS too. “These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace…In this [fallen] world [you] shall have tribulation (no matter how LONG): but [you can]…be of good cheer, [God through Christ (in YOU) has]… OVERCOME the world…” (John 16:33 KJV).
I admittedly grew weak in my LONG “season of suffering.” OUR own, lonely, finite, self-effort will run out of steam pretty quickly, during a test. Those times when I didn’t rely on the grace and sufficiency of God. I probably said, “…Father,… take this cup from Me; …[however]...not [your] will, but [mine]… be done…" (Luke 22:42-43 NIV). Whether I was aware I was saying it or not, I took that stance.
Jesus asked God to take his cup or “season of suffering” from him, but I laid my cup down without asking permission. Jesus said, “…Father, if you are willing, take this cup from Me; yet not My will, but Yours be done" (Luke 22:42-43 NIV).
I probably said, “...Father, I AM laying this cup down, even if you don’t take it. That’s my will; not yours...”
I stayed the course, but my hope for overcoming my “season of suffering” was gone with the wind, but GOD!!! “O the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! how unsearchable are his judgments, and his ways past finding out! For who hath known the mind of the Lord? Or who hath been his counsellor?” (Romans 11:33-34 KJV).
In the story of Lazarus it seems Jesus didn’t come to the situation “on time.” “Then said Martha unto Jesus, Lord if thou hadst been there, my brother had not died” (John 11:21 KJV).
That was the opinion, of Mary and Martha, concerning Jesus’ delay. I felt that way too. My LONG “season of suffering” had died-out, even after all I thought I did to stand in faith and be a righteous person!
I justified my righteousness, but condemned God’s righteous decision to allow me to go through my LONG “season of suffering,” I had to repent. “…Job... justified himself rather than God...” (Job 33:1-10 KJV).
I thought, haughtily, what is the point being faithful, obedient, and trusting Jesus if your “season of suffering” ends in defeat, dies a hopeless death, or gets worst ANYWAY?
In the story of Lazarus, Jesus did not come visibly to the situation until death had occurred. What is the point of showing up AFTER death? It’s over and the situation is a bust, so why is Jesus showing up now? Mary and Martha condemned Jesus’ actions, just like the rest of us do or are doing, right now.
Further, this is the place many of us “give up” or accuse God of not working things out the way “WE” wanted them to work out or the way HE claimed it would (Romans 8:28). I am guilty of having this attitude.
One of Lazarus’ sisters said, “… as soon as she heard that Jesus was coming … Lord, if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died… ” (John 11:20-22 KJV). Martha accused Jesus of not being there and declared it was TOO LATE, so she told him “… Lord, by this time, he stinketh: for he hath been dead for four days …” (John 11:39 KJV).
WHO AM I or who ARE WE TO QUESTION GOD? WHO AM I or who ARE WE TO QUESTION HIS POWERFUL TIMING, OR HIS SOVEREIGNTY OVER “ALL” SITUATIONS? “…the things which are impossible with men are possible with God…” (Luke 18:27 KJV). “…Jesus said…I am the resurrection and I am the life…..” (John 11:25 KJV).
My LONG “season of suffering” was dead to MY CONTROL, my finite power to change it, and my ability to hope in its resurrection or its life, but Not GOD’s!!! I “…thoughtest that [God]... was altogether such an one as [myself]…“(Psalm 50:19-21 KJV).
Jesus is always with you throughout your entire “season of suffering” no matter how long. He will “…never leave nor forsake you…” (Hebrews 13:5 KJV).
However, Jesus will clearly manifest himself in his timing, with the purpose of giving you a GREATER outcome!!! “…..Said I not unto thee, that, if thou wouldest believe, thou shouldest see the glory (presence, goodness, and working power) of God?” (John 11:40 KJV).
While Martha and Mary were being comforted by friends and family, Jesus had something better in mind. (John 11:17-22).
I thought my LONG “season of suffering” was dead, but after my brain bleed, God said, “…only believe…” (Mark 5:36 KJV). God is not limited by ANYTHING and a tidbit of hope or a mustard seed of hope WILL MOVE MOUNTAINS!! “…For verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you…” (Matthew 17:20 KJV).
God has“…dealt to every man the measure of faith...” and therefore, we are NEVER destitute of faith (Romans 12:3 KJV). It’s not a feeling, it’s a fact. “…Believest thou this?” (John 8:51 KJV).
Look what happened for Mary and Martha. “And he that was dead came forth, bound hand and foot with graveclothes: and his face was bound about with a napkin. Jesus saith unto them, Loose him, and let him go...” (John 11:43-44 KJV). Their “season of suffering” was OVER!!!
Mary and Martha could have chosen to “…[entrust themselves]… to HIM who judges justly…” (1 Peter 2:20-23 NIV). God goes BEYOND what you can see, your timing, what you can endure, what you can control, or comprehend. Nothing is dead until God says it’s dead!! In Mary and Martha’s story, “…Jesus said…I am the resurrection and I am the life…..” (John 11:25 KJV).
I realize God loves me dearly and deeply. He created me to overcome, he gave me victory in Jesus, and NOW nothing is impossible for me. Jesus asked Mary and Martha, “…where have ye laid him?..’ (John 11:34 KJV).
God used that same verse to ask me where had I laid my hope. “…Jesus saith unto to her, ‘Said I not unto to thee, that, if thou wouldest believe, thou shouldest see the glory of God’…” (John 11:40 KJV).
My brain bleed came to help me grow deeper spiritually, to renew, to restore, to develop, to strengthen my faith, to humble me, to fill me with fresh hope, to help me gain a deeper respect for God’s sovereign control, to allow me to gain more revelation knowledge of God’s divine nature, and to draw me even closer to him. HALLELUJAH!!!!
God didn’t want me limited by my human, finite abilities, complacencies, and human reasonings. God wanted me to become EMPOWERED by the unlimited indwelling Holy Spirit that enables me to keep trusting and depend upon God through everything. The bible says, “...Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths...” (Proverbs 3:5-6 KJV).
When LONG “seasons of suffering” make no “human” sense and time, invested in years, continue to pass; Jesus says, “…you must believe and not doubt….” (James 1:6-8 NIV).
I am glad God loves me. I am glad he remembered my work and labor of love; not because I deserved it, but because of his sufficient grace, mercy, and unmerited favor(kindness). “For God is not unrighteous to forget your work and labour of love, which ye have shewed toward his name…” (Hebrews 6:10 KJV). “…God is able to make all GRACE abound toward you; that ye, always having all sufficiency in all things…” (2 Corinthians 8:9 KJV).
I am glad God remains faithful, even when I don’t. “If we are faithless, he remains faithful…” (2 Timothy 2:13 NIV). I am glad God keeps his word and promises, even when I forget them! “So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it” (Isaiah 55:11 KJV).
Goodness and mercy, because of God, and in spite of me, follows me ALL the days of my life, even when I stop being aware of it (Psalms 23:6). Praise God who is able “… to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us” (Ephesians 3:20 NASB).
I am again reminded, “…you must believe and not doubt….” (James 1:6-8 NIV). I still don’t like “seasons of suffering,” but I respect my Father’s ways of correcting me. “…his ways [are]… past finding out…” (Romans 11:33-34 KJV).
I firmly believe that, even in the STORMS of life, “…[my] eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into [my]… heart … the things which God hath prepared for [me]....” (1 Corinthians 2:9 KJV). I am excited!!!
In regard to my LONG “season of suffering” and brain bleed I have, always had, the GUARANTEED VICTORY!! I AM REJOICING. JESUS HAS SPOKEN. “…I am the resurrection and I am the life…..” (John 11:25 KJV). “…In this [fallen] world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer, [God has]… OVERCOME the world…” (John 16:33 KJV).
My paraphrased version: “And [the situation]… that was dead [has come] forth …Jesus saith unto [it ‘I have overcome the world’], Loose [the situation]…, and let [it] go...” (John 11:43-44 KJV). “…Jesus saith unto to her, ‘Said I not unto to thee, that, if thou wouldest believe, thou shouldest see the glory of God’…” (John 11:40 KJV). “...thou shouldest see the ...presence, goodness, and working power]... of God’…” (John 11:40 KJV). “…Believest thou this?” (John 8:51 KJV).
I BELIEVED AND I WON!!!
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