“….Under three things the earth quakes, And under four it cannot bear up….under an unloved woman when she gets a husband…”
(Proverbs 30:23 NASB).
*
There are many interpretations of this
scripture, one in which the woman is blamed for BEING unlovable. “…an odious woman when she is married…”
(Proverbs 30:23 KJV). “…a contemptible woman when she is married…”
(Proverbs 30:23 NIV). “…a bitter woman who finally gets a
husband…” (Proverbs 30:23 NLT).
However, I am taking it
from the viewpoint of a married woman who is in a marriage where she is NOT
appropriately LOVED according to God’s standards. “.. For this reason a man shall leave his father
and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh…” (Genesis 2:24 NASB). “… Husbands, love your wives, just
as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her…”
(Ephesians 5:25 NASB). “…So husbands ought
also to love their own wives as
their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself…” (Ephesians 5:28 NASB).
“…Nevertheless,
each
individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself…”
(Ephesians 5:33 NASB). “…Husbands, love your wives and do not be embittered
against them…” (Colossians 3:19 NASB).
God wants to HEAL his MARRIED
daughters. “…an unloved woman when she gets a husband…”
(Proverbs 30:23 NASB). “…Isaac … took Rebekah, and she became his wife, and he loved her…” (Genesis 24:67 NASB). “… And
Isaac brought Rebekah into his mother Sarah’s tent, and she became his wife. He loved
her deeply…” (Genesis 24:67 NLT).
An unloved woman is that
quiet, unassuming victim, who happily meets everybody’s needs, but her OWN. “… She weeps bitterly in the night And her
tears are on her cheeks; She has none to comfort her …” (Lamentations 1:2 NASB).
“…She has no comforter…”
(Lamentations 1:9 NASB). “…Zion
stretches out her hands; There is no one to comfort her…” (Lamentations 1:17 NASB).
She GIVES until she is
bankrupt and then BORROWS for others, but NOT herself. “…The second is like, namely this … love thy neighbor as thyself. There
is none other commandment greater than these…”
(Mark 12:28-31 KJV). “…They all out of their surplus put into the
offering; but she out of
her poverty put in all that she
had to live on...” (Luke
21:4 NASB).
Many FEEL deep compassion for the POVERTY they witness in all over the world, but fail to
see the POVERTY (poor, condition, or one deprived of the essential, or someone who is insufficient of something needed) living in the SAME household: a WIFE
“unloved” by her husband. “…Do not be mean-spirited and refuse someone a loan (advantage) ... If you refuse to make the
loan and the needy person cries out to the Lord, you will be considered
guilty of sin. Give generously to the poor (needy), not
grudgingly, for the Lord your God will bless you in
everything you do. There will always be some in the
land who are poor (needy). That is why I am commanding you to share freely with the poor (needy) and
with other Israelites (God’s people) in need…”
(Deuteronomy 15:9-11 NLT).
There
are husbands who no longer show or have "NEVER" shown their spouses an ongoing, appropriate, Godly
love. “…Let no debt
remain outstanding, except the continuing debt
to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled
the law…” (Romans 13:8 NIV). “…LOVE
one another, even as I have loved you…”
(John 13:34-35 KJV).
An
unloved woman often feels trapped in a marriage with a man who “DID” not
continue to GROW in AGAPE love for her. “…You must grow in
the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. …” (2 Peter 3:18 NLT).
This BLOG is NOT to blame men, but to
HIGHLIGHT all the “UNLOVED” women living and suffering in SILENCE in marriages
where they have been abandoned or forgotten by their spouses for DAYS, WEEKS,
MONTHS, or maybe even YEARS. “…an unloved woman when she gets a husband…”
(Proverbs 30:23 NASB).
The bible says “an unloved
woman” causes “…the earth [to…quake], And … it
cannot bear up….
…” (Proverbs 30:23 NASB).
An unloved woman watches while
her husband chooses unjustifiable mistreatment toward her and other interests instead of her. “…You husbands in
the same way, live with your wives in an understanding
way, as with someone weaker, since she is a
woman; …” (1 Peter 3:7 NASB).
She watches him chase after
and pour himself into his selfish pursuits, consuming dreams, addictions, affairs, and single-minded adventures while she waits in the wings. “…You husbands …show her honor as a fellow
heir of the grace of life, so that
your prayers will not be hindered…” (1 Peter 3:7 NASB).
When he is home she watches him
sit in front of the television or computer, or make secret whispers into his cell phone, or make plans which don't include her, or
work on some important project that benefits him while she continues to love and care for him. “…Walk in love, just
as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a
sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma…” (Ephesians 5:2 NASB).
She takes care of the routine
and often monotonous wifely duties, she prayerfully tries to do things to please
him, and she takes care of his needs to the best of her ability without one single acknowledgement
of appreciation from her spouse for days, weeks, months, or years.
“…Leah conceived and bore a son and named him
Reuben, for she said, “Because the Lord has seen
my affliction; surely
now my husband
will
love me…”
(Genesis 29:32 NASB). “…Then
she became pregnant a third time and gave birth to another son. He was named
Levi, for she said, “Surely this time
my husband will
feel affection for me,
since I have given him three sons!” (Genesis 29:34 NLT).
When and if she expresses her
many emotional concerns, insecurities, feelings of unworthiness, or some other
personal struggle, her spouse offers her no affirmation or comfort. She is left
alone to get through it by herself. “…You husbands …live
with your wives in an understanding way…” (1
Peter 3:7 NASB).
An unloved woman desires and
longs for kind, supportive words from her spouse and finds none. “…Far from me is a comforter, One
who restores my soul…” (Lamentations 1:16 NASB). “….To
the woman He (God) said, "… your desire will be for
your husband..." (Genesis 3:16 NASB).
She has often watched him compliment
and offer kind, supportive words to everyone else, but her. “… if any does not provide (emotional support too)for his own,
and those of his own house, he hath denied the faith and is worse than an infidel (unbeliever)…” (1 Timothy 5:8 KJV).
She has watched him put so
many things and people before her she no longer feels she has a place of
importance and the word “wife” is just a word without meaning. “…Drink
water from your own well—share
your love only with your wife. Why spill the water of your
springs in the streets, having sex with just anyone?”
(Proverbs 5:15-16 NLT). “…Let your fountain be blessed,
And rejoice in the wife of your youth. As
a loving hind and a graceful doe, Let her breasts
satisfy you at all times; Be
exhilarated always with her love…”
(Proverbs 5:18-19 NASB).
An unloved woman often feels
replaceable and not like the “good” thing God intended for her to be. She may
also feel like an afterthought or a mistress to his other interests. “…He
who finds a wife finds a good
thing And obtains favor from
the Lord…”
(Proverbs 18:22 NLT). “…Fathers can give their sons an inheritance
of houses and wealth, but only the Lord can give an understanding wife…”
(Proverbs 19:14 NLT). “…She is more precious than
rubies…” (Proverbs 31:10 NASB).
An unloved woman has been left
alone, especially emotionally -too many days and nights - to fend for herself.
She doesn’t feel precious at all. “…Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is
more precious than rubies…” (Proverbs 31:10 NASB).
An unloved woman has felt the
“longing” for her husband and the need for his conversation and care, but too
often it has been unavailable or remiss. “…Now my husband will treat
me with respect, for
I have given him six sons…” (Genesis 30:20 NLT).
An unloved woman is loyal and
faithful to the vows she made to both God and her husband. “…You have also heard … ‘You
must not break your vows; you must carry out the vows you make to
the Lord…”
(Matthew 5:33 NLT). “… to him that knoweth to do
good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin…”
(James 4:17 KJV).
She is willing to sacrifice her many needs for
her unrelenting love and commitment to her husband and to her Lord and Savior. “…A wife must not leave her husband…” (1
Corinthians 7:10 NLT).
Her spouse does not have the
same kind of commitment “…But [he or she]… swears to
[her]… own hurt and does not change…”
(Psalms 15:1-4 NASB). “….So guard your heart; remain loyal to
the wife of your youth…” (Malachi 2:15 NLT). “…Let
no one deal treacherously against the wife of your youth…”
(Malachi 2:15 NASB).
Because of her love and
commitment to both God and her spouse, an unloved woman is taken for granted. “…Live happily
with the woman you love
through all the …days of life that God
has given you under the sun. The wife God gives you is your reward for all your
earthly toil…” (Ecclesiastes 9:9 NLT).
She is too often neglected. We
sit next to her in church every week and don’t recognize her silent struggle or
her POVERTY of AGAPE love in her marriage. “…an unloved woman …”
(Proverbs 30:23 NASB).
The unloved woman is a
beautiful, but unkempt, forsaken garden of God’s glory. “…Come to Me,
all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest…”
(Matthew 11:28 NASB). “…I will
restore… and I will heal thee of the wounds, saith
the Lord…” (Jeremiah 30:17 KJV).
She has often sacrificed
herself for her spouse, but he has sacrificed very little or NOTHING for her. “…For such
people are not serving our Lord Christ, but their own appetites.…” (Romans 16:18 NIV).“… if any does not provide (emotional support too)for his own
… [HE or SHE]…is worse than an infidel (unbeliever)…” (1 Timothy 5:8 KJV).
This neglect is a form of
abuse and is unacceptable to God. “…You cry out, “Why doesn’t the Lord accept my worship?” I’ll tell you why! Because the Lord witnessed the vows
you and your wife made when you
were young. But you have been unfaithful to her, though
she remained your faithful partner,
the
wife of your
marriage vows…” (Malachi 2:14 NLT).
“…Love does NO HARM to
his neighbor…” (Romans 13:10 NASB). “…Love is patient, love is KIND
…It does not dishonor others….” (1
Corinthians 13: 4-8 NIV). “…A new
commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you
…” (John 13:34-35 KJV). “…Let no
debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt
to love one another…”
(Romans 13:8 NIV). ).
Being married and being
an unloved woman is devastating and painful. It is hard for a woman in these
circumstances NOT to focus on a husband’s flaws and distance heart. “…This
people honoureth me with their lips, but their heart is far from me…” (Mark 7:6 KJV). “…for
thy heart is not right in the
sight of God…” (Acts 8:21 KJV).
Christian women become wives
in hope that they will be cherished, respected, honored, and treated according
to the biblical standards of relational love. “…They broke that covenant, though I loved them as
a husband loves his wife,” says
the Lord…” (Jeremiah 31:32 NASB).
“…I will make you my wife
forever, showing you righteousness and justice, unfailing
love and compassion…”
(Hosea 2:19 NASB).
When it doesn’t happen,
it is sad for her. An unloved woman feels like her husband has divorced her
without actually divorcing her. “…I hate divorce!” says the Lord,
the God of Israel. “To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty,” says
the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. “So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your wife…”
(Malachi 2:16 NLT). “…Love does NO HARM to his neighbor…”
(Romans 13:10 NASB).
An unloved woman is one who
has been emotionally abandoned by her spouse. She is living in a marriage in a
divorced condition. She is overwhelmed by the cruelty of it all. “…To divorce your wife is to
overwhelm her with cruelty,” says
the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. “…”
(Malachi 2:16 NLT). “….Under
three things the earth quakes, And under four it
cannot bear up….under an unloved woman when
she gets a husband…”
(Proverbs 30:23 NASB).
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