““…Jesus
Christ maketh thee whole (SAVES, RESTORES , AND
MAKES YOU WHOLE YOU AGAIN)…”
(Acts 9:34 KJV).
“…I
pray [to God that] ... [HIS indwelling Holy]...SPIRIT and [your] ...SOUL and
BODY be preserved [together again] ... blameless unto the coming of
our Lord Jesus Christ…” (1 Thessalonians 5:23 KJV).
“….He restoreth
my soul….” (PSALM 23:1-3 NLT).
*
UnRee told Reginald about Stewart. Stewart
was ex-military and a honored veteran of the US Army. He suffered with PTSD. He
was the protector of the woman’s group Samantha was a part of, but he had his
quirks.
There were times Stewart would avoid closed
in places, or crowded events, or large objects he was unfamiliar with. Certain
things affected the way he felt or thought and he would freak out about it.
Nights were really hard for him and he
would have dreams of being in the war. He would wake up screaming, drenching
with sweat, and his heart would be racing.
Sometimes Steward was approachable and
other times he wasn’t. It depended upon his mood. He felt guilty that he’d
survived the war and some of his soldier buddies didn’t He always thought he
could have done more, but he could never remember, the details, of what he’d
done or didn’t do.
He would often argue with himself in angry
tones, or he’d go days without sleep. Stewart was easily startled. He was also
constantly nervous and jumpy.
Stewart said one day he wanted to go back
home and be a decent husband and father again. In the meantime, he lived on the
streets, went to his VA treatments, and occasionally to a PTSD support group.
Stewart had honorably served the country,
but the emotional wounds from the war had deeply affected his ability to have a
normal life.
Stewart is the one who formed the women’s
group. It started out with four women, but now it had increased to 100 or 150 women.
All these women lived on the streets and
Stewart, originally, found a high-rise parking lot with several levels. He was
given access to the top level which enabled them to set up a makeshift camp.
It was a covered parking lot, surrounded
by a thick cement wall and even had portable toilets.
Stewart always said the parking lot was
owned by a close friend of his who owed his a favor. Stewart couldn’t save them
all and homelessness was spiking. Decent people, who lost their jobs, was
seeking a safe place to sleep, at least, for a little while.
They called the parking lot “Stew’s Place.”
The encampment wasn’t a home, or a shelter, or bedroom, or a friend’s couch, or
anything fancy, but it was the RITZ of sleeping places on the streets,
especially “rough” sleeping or sleeping out in the open.
Not only did Stewart not get any sleep,
but he looked out for the women’s group and other “rough” sleepers.
Eventually other high-rise garages got
involved and offered their top levels to Stewart too. However, each one could
only serve a small group and had to consider the occupancy load codes. Stew’s
Places were a well-kept secret. It was by permission and invitation only.
Other ex-military veterans helped run Stew’s
Places. He only offer tent-encampments for a select few. Unfortunately, Stewart
couldn’t help everybody, but he did what he could.
Every night 40 or 50 women, some with
families, had a safe place to sleep. Eventually, Stewart had five parking lots
to utilize. In a way, Stewart was still protecting America by soldering some of
the homeless community.
Some people just needed help until they
could get back on their feet. While helping others, Stew was trying to help himself.
He was lost and he hoped, if it wasn’t too late, to get back home to his family
one day.
The high-rise garages were not traditional
shelters and they were meant to help, mainly, rough sleepers.
The homeless who came to Stew’s Places
found a temporary sanctuary to get themselves together.
Stew had multiple resources and his
resources actually helped people transition off the streets.
Many churches and organization had
approached Stew and asked him to turn his places into a more structure program,
but he refused.
He told them the “rough” sleepers that
stayed in his places preferred “open” spaces and didn’t want the rules or regulations
that structured programs offered, especially shelters.
He said most of the “rough” sleepers in
his places preferred finding their own way back and choosing their own resources.
Stew had a network of help. Those who’d
come through Stew’s Place expanded his resources by reaching back and offering
suggestions that made it better for their homeless comrades.
Help for the homeless was always welcomed,
but there was nothing like a person helping you who had walked a mile in your
shoes.
Stewart was that kind of help. He understood
was it was like to be lost in an emotional spiral and wake up in a world of
homelessness and PTSD. He wanted to come back to normal, but he didn’t know when or “if”
he would ever get there.
Being lost, like he was, was a BIG risk,
because he could lose everything. How
long would his wife wait for him? How long would his children wait? How long
would the rest of his family wait. For all he knew it was already too late.
They
must still care, because every now and then he would get a care package, family
pictures, clothing, supplies, love notes, money, and food. Was it his parents
or did his wife and kids still care too? He didn’t know. It made him sad that
he was so twisted.
Stewart was a complicated person with a
complicated problem. Though he loved his family, he thought it was easier to
leave them than negatively impact their lives with his issues. The day he saw
the fear in their eyes is the day he made the hardest decision of his life.
He couldn’t help his own, so he helped
homeless families. All he’d done was create a safe place to sleep “rough” until
they could get on their feet.
Some people stayed at Stew’s place for a
few weeks, or months, and some had been there for years. Some were computer
programmers, landscapers, farmers, ex-military, and dish washers. They were
educated, trained, and skilled, but homeless nonetheless.
Many homeless people were decent, loving,
kind-hearted, and caring, but had fallen upon hard times. Homelessness and living
on the streets caught many people completely off guard. They were afraid and
initially didn’t have a clue how to survive their new reality.
Most people stayed with friends, first, but
left out of concern they would wear out their welcome. When you are on the
streets with NOTHING, Stew’s Place is both a blessing and a miracle.
Stewart got sad and often cried over the
people he couldn’t help. He knew first hand, what it was like to be marginalized
and on the outside of normal life
Stewart’s PTSD affected his family and he
made their life miserable with his jumpiness, moods, and depression. It caused
abnormal marital problems, because his symptoms made him act like a crazy
person.
His craziness upset his wife and his saw
how hard it was for her to try to continue to love him. Leaving was his gift to
them.
His wife went to classes to learn about
PTSD and she really made an effort to understand how it influenced his
behavior. When he left, he apologized, but told her he would love her and the
kids for the rest of his life.
He’d said “...I love you, Marie, but I can’t do this to you and the kids. Forgive me...”
He left and hadn’t been home since. They had his military check, they had every
military benefits, and they had his biological family’s support.
The Iraqi War had affected Stewart’s life,
but he would do it again to protect his family and country. No soldier went to
war thinking, if they were blessed enough to return, that it would have such a
serious emotional effect upon their lives.
Stewart had nightmares about the war that
drove his emotions off the chain. He was often concerned he would hurt himself
or his family.
Most people had no clue what a soldier
sees during the actual PROCESS of war. Steward saw death and destruction, first hand. He walked over and
through dead bodies and he'd never felt peace again. Nobody is happy at
war. There are no bar-be-ques or birthday parties and the lives of the citizens
of that nation of forever impacted.
Stewart saw the damage war had on
those countries and it gravely saddened him and his fellow soldiers too! A
soldier vows to protect his country and homeland, but being on the forefront of
war did terrible things to the human psyche.
Stewart remembered, in order to save a
fellow soldier’s life, he had to kill one of their opponent’s. In that moment,
he was forced and bound by duty, to end another person’s life.
Killing is a part of war and you are
warring against an enemy or opponent. However, that doesn’t make it any easier
to take a human life. Stewart did his duty, but he was, immediately, ridden
with deep sorrow and regret.
He didn’t know if his fellow Americans,
who never went to war or will ever go, knew what it was like to come face to
face with an enemy nation.
Soldiers are meant to destroy hostile
forces, but nonetheless those enemy nations or opposing forces consisted of human
beings.
Soldiers, not only kill the enemy, but they
also become an eyewitness of their deaths. When you’re in the midst of war,
killing could be an everyday occurrence in order to survive and protect your fellow Americans.
Whether a soldier is in the line or
duty, to their country, or not; they are still burdened with the deaths of both
their enemies and their fellow comrades. It is "this" part of WAR that effects the
emotions and psyche of the soldier the most.
When the war settles and the soldier returns
home, like it or not, the deaths they witnessed will disturb the mind of the
solder and rob them of peace.
When a soldier is in the war zone, they
are surrounded with grief and sorrow. In order to survive, Stewart tried to think
of something happy or a good memory, but it was hard to do.
He remembered being right in the midst of
war. He was guarding the border, and he felt such sickening fear. Yet, he didn’t
have the luxury to indulge that fear, because he had a duty towards the nation
which had a priority over his emotions.
Sometimes Stewart was on border duty day
and night and he had to be on the alert. In those moments, away from family, in
another country, and without a guarantee you will ever make it home again...he
felt totally deprived of peace. You never knew when the enemy was coming or where they would be coming from. This deprivation of peace, for Stewart, was
there the whole time he was in the war zone.
The deprivation of peace, the death of
soldiers, the suffering of citizens, and those face to face moments of war is
what haunts him over and over and over again.
This was Stewart’s daily struggle and it
caused him constant emotional stress. What
it he never got better? What if he never learned the right coping skills to
move forward? What if his wife and kids had moved on without him?
Steward never thought his war experiences
would cause him such mental strain and stress, but it had and did.
The war experience was more traumatic that
he’s ever imagined it would be and now he was an ex-military veteran separated
from his family and living on the streets.
Stewart remembered a hymn he’d heard at
the base chapel and it always gave him comfort:
“...What can wash away my sin? Nothing but the blood of Jesus;
What can make me whole again?
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
Oh! precious is the flow
That makes me white as snow;
No other fount I know,
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
For my pardon this I see--
Nothing but the blood of Jesus!
For my cleansing this my plea--
Nothing but the blood of Jesus!
Nothing can my sin erase
Nothing but the blood of Jesus!
Naught of works, 'tis all of grace--
Nothing but the blood of Jesus!
This is all my hope and peace--
Nothing but the blood of Jesus!
This is all my righteousness--
Nothing but the blood of Jesus!...” (Robert Lowery 1876).
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