UNREE LYNN DEEMD: THE UNWANTED DAUGHTER OF A PEDOPHILE!

                                                                                THE DEVELOPING VICTIM

UNREE LYNN DEEMD

  “... Why died I not from the womb? why did I not give up the ghost when I came out of the belly?” (Job 3:11 KJV).

 “...all the days of my appointed time will I wait, till my change come...” (Job 14:14 KJV).

                                          *     

         UnRee Lynn Deemd stood on the corner with a bucket and cardboard sign begging for food and money. Some people had compassion, some just stared or leered, and some uttered insulting words.

          Some people gave her money and others threw their trash in her bucket. She knew people who begged by choice, but she had no choice at the moment.

This is where UnRee’s life had brought her to and the only thing that kept her going was that someone told her “...the only person who can resurrect you from this life is Jesus. ..” 

           She had asked: “...Where is this Jesus?...”

           The lady said: “...He’s around here somewhere...”

           “...Where can I find him?...”

           “...You don’t have to find him, he’ll find you. He’s always looking for the lost. He deeply loves the lost..” 

           Unree asked, “...So, is he looking for me, too?...”

           “...Probably....” The lady walked away. UnRee was 15 when she’d heard about Jesus and now she was 27 years old; living on the street.

          The only reason she’d hadn’t killed herself was because she wanted to meet this Jesus. UnRee had been on the edge of suicide multiple times and she’d hated herself her whole life.

          Love was an illusion, but yet, deep inside, she wanted to experience the feeling of being loved. She’d lost hope over and over, but she’d hear the woman’s voice saying, “...Probably...” Jesus was probably looking for her and she wanted to be here waiting when he came for her.

          UnRee’s mother NEVER loved her. In fact, she hated her. UnRee remembered accidently dropping a bowl of cereal on the floor. Her mother beat her with an electric cord and locked her in the downstairs closet all night.

Somewhere along the way she began to see all mothers as BAD, especially hers. UnRee was depressed most of the time, she was self-loathing, and she did drugs, when she could afford them, to “feel” something.

          Her mother made her believe something was wrong with her and the way life had treated UnRee, maybe her mother was right.

          UnRee felt she was faulty from birth and her mother consistently said, “...I didn’t ask for you to come into my life. You are a BIG mistake...”

          In spite of all the negative treatment from her mother and others in her life, UnRee still sought after the illusive love from a man named Jesus.

          Was she really crazy? For 27 years UnRee had been rejected, constantly reminded she was a mistake, was told she was hated, and a disappointing failure of a human being.

          This is where she had ended up, on the street with a bucket and a cardboard sign, trying to survive. Survive for what? More of the same treatment?

UnRee hated her mother in return for what she’d done to her and continues to do. Her own mother was one of the people who drove by and threw trash in her bucket.

UnRee got pregnant at 12 too and left her child on someone’s doorstep. The little boy was probably 15 years old now. She never looked back.

She was a broken person. She couldn’t care for him and she knew she couldn’t love him either. When she got pregnant her mother kicked her out and told her to never come back. She’d shouted, “...you are the child of a pedophile and so is that bastard in your belly. Now get out!...”

DR. PENSACOLA H. JEFFERSON

PASTORAL COUNSELOR

YADA COUNSELING MINISTRY

UNREE DEEMD

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

      THE UNWANTED DAUGHTER OF A PEDOPHILE

A LEGACY OF SHAME

“...Knowing that  you were not redeemed with perishable things like silver and gold from your futile way of life inherited from you forefather...” (1 Peter 1:18 NASB

“…For you know that God paid a ransom to save you from the empty life you inherited from your ancestors. And it was not paid with mere gold or silver,, which lose their value...”  (1 Peter 1:18 NLT).

*

Her mother’s words taunted her every day of her life “...you are the daughter of a pedophile....” There it was; her life in a nutshell. Her mother hated her because of how she was conceived.

How was that UnRee’s fault?  Her stepfather had done the same to her. He sexually abused  her since she was 9 years old and her mother knew about it.

Her mother was a damaged person and what UnRee’s pedophile father had done to her mother was still affecting her years later. Her mother got pregnant at 12 and she was now 39 years old.

UnRee felt hopeless and thought she would be a victim, like her mother, the rest of her life.

Her mother had been molested by a pedophile and so had she. UnRee was so desperate for love and affection she mistook her stepfather’s kindness as love. She was pathetic!

She didn’t know ANYTHING about love, affection, or pedophiles. Late at night, after her mother was sleeping, her stepfather would sneak into her room.

Her stepfather would show her affection, would tell her he loved her, and made her feel special for a little while.

UnRee was impressed by his show of love and affection and at first, it was a breath of fresh air, especially after the storm of hate generously demonstrated by her mother.

Her stepfather was a pedophile with a history and record of molesting and preying upon children.

UnRee learned too late and three years later she was pregnant with his child. He began molesting her when she was 9 years old. UnRee never tried to run away or scream for help. She trusted her stepfather. She “thought” he was a dream come true.

After all, he was loving, affectionate, kind, and generous. Many times he would protect her from her hateful mother too.

When her mother found out that her stepfather had been molesting her she immediately blamed UnRee. She also accused her of seducing him.

Her mother had already abandoned her emotionally, but she became worst after that, if that was possible.

UnRee got NO support and when she became pregnant even her stepfather turned on her. She was devastated when he abandoned her too.

The warped love and affection he had given her was ALL a lie. He stood side by side, with her mother, telling her to get out of their home and their lives.

In all truth, she was the daughter of a pedophile, who was molested by another pedophile. She was a victim without support. Yet she felt she was the blame for her mother’s hatred and her stepfather’s molestation.

UnRee felt responsible for what happened to and with her mother and stepfather. She also felt her mistake was being born and getting involved with her own stepfather. Oh My Gosh, she was a horrible person!

All she had left was guilt and shame, which made her sentence herself to a lifetime of self-loathing and disrespect. Her mother and stepfather went on with their lives while she stood on the corner with a bucket and cardboard sign.

She thought she was getting what she deserved. “....the “hated” daughter of a pedophile...”

Out of curiosity she went to the library and looked Fred Bennett up on the internet. He was once a little league coach who was indicted for sexually abusing little girls on his soccer ball team.

The country was outraged when they heard he’d been molesting children for over 12 years. He was arrested when UnRee was 2 years old.

Her mother had been on his team at one time. The article said that Fred Bennett was also a clown for children’s birthday parties. Fred also did colorful tricks to make the children laugh and his decorations were fairy tale like.

Fred Bennett was also named citizen of the year, held all kinds of sports awards, and had several college degrees.

Yet, his victims were everywhere. When he was arrested, 7 victims had come forward, but her mother was not one of them. Fred had molested nine month old babies to 13 year old adolescents and they were all females.

He was caught when a 12 year girl got pregnant, just like her mother, and told her parents how Fred Bennett had been “forcing” himself on her for months and threatened her to silence.

The parents took the 12 year old to the police to inform them of what Fred Bennett had been doing to her.

The police searched Fred Bennet’s properties and found incriminating evidence everywhere. Other victims came forward.

Fred Bennett did the same thing her stepfather had done to win his victims over. He showed extreme displays of love and affection, which was inappropriate for a soccer ball coach. Other parents remembered their children complaining, but ignored it.

However, there were a few allegations, before the 12 year old’s pregnancy, but not enough evidence to charge Bennett with anything.

In the end, however, Fred Bennet was charged with several crimes of rape, sexual assault, and exploitation of children. He got a lifetime in prison with no possibility of parole.

Most people think Fred Bennett got what he deserved and UnRee agreed, but what of his victims.

Her mother full of hate and venom had gotten a lifetime sentence too as a prisoner of his sexual abuse. Fred’s molestation of her mother had become her jail.

Her mother may be FOREVER traumatized by what Fred Bennett did to her. As a result UnRee was traumatized by her mother.

Most people think: JUST GET OVER IT like it’s a cold or something. But survivors like her mother and herself didn’t know or think they had any support system or didn’t think they deserved to be healed.

Her mother’s hate and her stepfather’s sexual abuse had affected her and if healing was possible, UnRee hadn’t found the path yet. All she had was that someone named Jesus was “...probably...” looking for her.

At the present moment, all UnRee knew is that everything that had happened to her was her fault. She had no idea she had choices and could take the responsible for her healing into her own hands.

The solution sounds simple, but it is not easy. UnRee’s reality was lonely, she was angry like her mother, she committed petty crimes, she abused drugs sometimes, she didn’t trust other humans, she thought about suicide regularly, and she hated herself. All these things constantly OVERWHELMED her and the possibility of being healed was nowhere on her radar.

If Jesus didn’t ever find her all she would ever be was her mother’s victim and the daughter of a pedophile.