CHAPTER 3 LUKE WARM: THE VIRTUOUS WOMAN

                    

CHAPTER 3

LUKE WARM:

THE VIRTUOUS WOMAN

 “... Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life...” (Proverbs 31:10-12 KJV).

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Virtuous Ruth Valor now Virtuous Ruth Warm got up around 5am to study and have a quiet time with God every morning like clockwork.

Her parents wanted to name her Virtuous, because most Christian woman wanted to make sure they did all they could to be the virtuous woman in proverbs 31.

Her mother wanted that too, but learned the hard way a woman couldn’t MAKE herself into a virtuous woman, but BECAME a virtuous woman by following the ways of Jesus through God’s word.

Her mother taught her to be honest, strong in the Lord, courageous in the Lord, kind, encouraging, diligent, prepared, resourceful, educated, and how to sustain a continual covenant relationship with God.

Her mother told her all spiritual characteristics and conduct, for both men and women of God...were virtuous. She was never to forget she was raised to live out the reality of her name.

Virtuous was raised to be “virtuous” and she truly had a deep, personal covenant relationship with God. She knew her virtues and she knew her flaws.

She was ready to please her husband by becoming the wife she thought he wanted. But pleasing him was beginning to feel like an old familiar burden. It felt ungrateful to think of her life in any negative way, because she’d pretty much had a decent life and family.

Yet this BURDEN, Izzy was beginning to make her feel was actually a lifestyle she lived with her whole life, which came in the request to be “somebody else’s” ideal of “perfect.”

The FEAR she felt about, one day, not being Izzy’s ideal of “perfect” was stressful. As stressful as it had been her whole life when she FEARED not being her family’s ideal of “perfect.”

When she MESSED up and stopped being her parents “ideal” of “perfect” they would criticize her, stop being loving toward her, showed no understanding, and was generous with their punishments.

It’s not that they ABUSED her physically or anything, because they didn’t. It was the LACK of grace that was sorely neglected in her life.

She didn’t know how to be IMPERFECT very well. Virtuous didn’t mind having flaws she just didn’t know how to deal with her flaws other than to criticize or punish herself like everyone else did.

This private secret of “no grace” had bothered her and nobody had even noticed. When she thought of the dynamics between she and her parents and now she and Issachar it seemed healthy. They ALL took great care of her in their own ways.

But for Virtuous the missing piece was, while they ALL wanted her to be their version of “perfect” she wanted to SEE, within them, a version of God’s GRACE, kindness, and understanding.

The neglect of the emotional need for God’s grace, kindness, and forgiveness made her FEEL bad, unworthy, and often lonely every time she made a mistake or struggled to overcome her sinful nature.

Virtuous always felt that THEIR NEED for her to be “THEIR” ideal of “perfect,” was more important than her need for GRACE or KINDNESS, or UNDERSTANDING.

It was amazing how gracious, kind, and understanding she was of their flaws. She had learned that kind of grace from God. She couldn't believe when she read the words “...be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus...” (2 Timothy 2:1 KJV).“… The Holy Spirit helps [his people]... in [their]... weakness…” (Romans 8:26 NLT). “...For [God’s people]... do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with [their]... weaknesses, but [they]... have one who has been tempted in every way, just as [they]... are--yet he (Jesus) did not sin” (Hebrews 4:15 NIV).

“…[God’s] strength is made perfect in [their]...weakness...” (2 Corinthians 12:9 KJV). “…[God’s people]... can do ALL THINGS through Christ which strengtheneth [them]...” (Philippians 4:13 KJV).

Virtuous was so very grateful to find and receive, regularly, God’s grace. God was generously gracious to her and she was to be gracious to others, but she wasn’t entitled to the same treatment from her closest loved ones.

If she dared to complain or ask for help it was perceived as a weakness which made her feel guilty, more flawed, angry at herself for even wanting their grace, it lowered her self-confidence another degree, and made her feel as if she had no right to ask.

Virtuous could say this of her family......they loved her, but they had avoided expressing the loving grace of God to her. Before God,  she was completely bankrupt in that area of her inner life.

She left her parent’s home, but was still interacting with them through Issachar L. Warm. Secretly, she had judged her parents, during her childhood, and wondered had she ever forgiven them for their LACK of GRACE toward her.

Now that she was beginning to see these SAME characteristics in Issachar she wondered had it come from her own root of bitterness. What was that scripture? She got her bible and looked the verse up. “..See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled . . .” ( Hebrews 3:12 NASB).

She HAD judged them, but she thought she’d left it in the past, but she hadn’t. She read another verse: “...Therefore thou art inexcusable, O man (woman), whosoever thou art that judgest: for wherein thou judgest another, thou condemnest thyself; for thou that judgest doest the same things. But we are sure that the judgment of God is according to truth against them which commit such things...” (Romans 2:1-2 KJV).

Yes, Virtuous was a decent person and had many righteous qualities, but she had secretly sown judgement against her parents within her “own” heart. She couldn’t help but wonder if Issachar was the consequence. She read yet another verse. “...whatever a person sows, this he(she) will also reap. ..” (Galatians 6:7-8 NASB).

Even, what you may think is a LITTLE sin, is still SOME sin.

 In the beginning Issachar and Virtuous enjoyed their lives together. Virtuous relaxed and got used to Issachar’s endless praise. They were content and happy together.

They held onto the beginning for as long as they could. Issachar said and did all the right things as they built their lives together.

They laughed together, built together, were innovative together, travelled together, ministered together, and dreamed together. It was truly adventurous and satisfied the wanderlust in both their hearts.

Virtuous stayed on her pedestal as the perfect wife for a long time and Issachar praised her regularly. When she voiced her concerns he’d tell her: “...I’ll never change my mind about you, Virt....”

Regardless of Issachar’s attitude, Virtuous accepted she wasn’t perfect and was okay with it. She’d personally discovered God’s grace and now understood why it was called amazing.

When she saw Issachar’s flaws, she was, utterly, gracious, kind, and forgiving toward him. She didn’t judge or criticize him, which she’d learned from God’s Word. She treated him like she wanted to be treated when her turn came and she knew it would.

Issachar was the love of her life and she had saved her virginity for him, which made their union all the more special. She sincerely loved his soul, learned him well, paid attention to details, but she began to see some serious chinks in his armor.

The chinks weren’t important in the beginning as they shared deep talks together in the midnight hour or wee hours of the morning. They wanted the same things, which made it fun. She too wanted to have a life full of adventure. She wanted to share a life of faith with him too. Issachar taught her a lot about God’s Word and she, especially, loved that part.

Together, she thought, they were living the Christian life. Eventually, they moved to Son City and built a huge home on the family property. She travelled doing ministry with him until she became pregnant with their first child.

By 1999, they had four children, two girls and two boys. The boys were a set of twins. Virtuous stayed close to home during the children's younger years, opened a B&B, did counseling, and participated in the local church ministry.

They each wrote and published several books. They started businesses, helped build and sponsor the Son City Christian University, and made good financial investments. They raised Faith, Hope, Joshua and Joseph, who were typical children, but were growing up to be decent human beings.

The children were well-travelled and had gone on missions trips several times with their parents and the church.

Virtuous was there for the children most of the time, but she didn’t neglect Issachar either. She joined him on the road, wherever he went. Every now and then, it would occur to her that she was physically and emotional tired and desperately needed to rest, she was only human. Yet, Virtuous went on, as women do, taking diligent care of her family.

Issachar and Virtuous were still talking incessantly when they celebrated their 10^th anniversary. That night at dinner Virtuous told Issachar about some of her private concerns about her need to slow down and it seemed to anger him. She told him he was “...an ass and too stubborn for his own good...” and then she dropped it, but from that moment on a silent wedge came between them.

The beautiful life they shared together became a thing of the past, at least for her. They still did all the things they used to do, but something was missing.

They took their children to amusement parks, school events, birthday parties, on mission trips, helped with their homework, played games, went to their recitals and sports events, or on family vacations or outings, but the new wedge was there.

They continually worked on their ministry goals, personal dreams, investments, and published their books, and this new WEDGE grew.

Issachar was Minister Warm around the globe, but he tried to be husband and father at home. He made a concerted effort to be at church with Virtuous and the children most Sundays.

Issachar loved going to church with his family and sometimes he would bring the sermon. He was a really good speaker. Virtuous loved to hear him preach until recently.

When it came to their projects and ministry together, they had the Midas touch. They were innovative together, talked over their goals, wrote down their visions, made their plans, and did the work to make them a reality. Virtuous couldn’t seem to move on like Issachar had after the night of their 10^th anniversary. Nothing, visually, seemed to have changed for him.

They talked amicably like they always had, went sight-seeing, enjoyed musical concerts, went out to dinner, did things with the children, had annual Valentine picnics, explored secret places, visited museums, enjoyed the fruits of their labor, and dreamed, and worked, and implemented, and dreamed some more.

But Virtuous couldn’t get their 10^th anniversary out of her mind. Issachar hadn’t miss a beat and continued to say and do what he’d always done. But, for Virtuous, the sacred, covenant bond they once shared, together, was a becoming a distant memory.

She may have had the legal position as his wife, but “she” had been moved off his pedestal and had NO PLACE, with him, at all.

She tried to talk to him about it multiple times, but he always found a way to put it off. There were cards, gifts, and surprises on Valentine’s Day, their anniversary, and birthdays. Thanksgivings and Christmases were filled with laughter, gatherings with family or friends, and celebration, but, for Virtuous, it felt like one big facade.

Issachar said, one Sunday, in front of the whole congregation. “I want to Thank God for my wife...” He went on to say what she meant to him. Though she smiled, Issachar’s compliments were meaningless.

Issachar brought her beautiful no-reason cards, flowers, Swarovski crystal, books, pearls, porcelain figurines, or her favorite Starbucks drink. He would DO all the right things.

Issachar’s behavior had NOT changed, but SHE had. Her husband was a creature of habit. His behavior was ethical toward her, which made him look like a dream come true husband to those on the outside looking in.

Those behaviors won her heart years ago, but now she SAW his conduct differently and she was frightened by what she was thinking. What Issachar DID toward her as a husband only emboldened her negative thoughts instead of diminishing them.

Had they really had this wonderful life she’d thought they’d had?

Life went on for Issachar and Virtuous as they marched into the 21^st century. Virtuous had changed. She SAW Issachar. To complain about Issachar, with all his private and public, ethical behaviors toward her, seemed like an ungrateful thing to do, but she SAW Issachar.

Virtuous couldn’t UNSEE him, but she didn’t know what to do. The damage was done and there is nothing she could do to change what had been done. Telling the truth would cause harm and hurt to SO MANY people.

She was a victim too and felt horrible about Issachar. Why had he done it and why didn’t she know before now? Issachar chose this life, but not for the same reasons most people did. AND, he didn’t want anyone, not even her, to know.

What if, one day, this all comes back to haunt them, especially if someone, outside of the family, found out? Issachar had built EVERYTHING – ministry, marriage, family, and himself – through self-effort from beginning to the present. Truly, in one way it was amazing, but in another, more important, way it was HORRIBLE.

Issachar wasn’t a hypocrite, but he was a self-made invention of a Christian man. He was a FALSE version, but it was obvious he believed he was the “real” thing. Now Virtuous wondered: “who was the real Issachar?”

In reality, her husband was so CAUGHT-UP in his own invention he probably no longer knew who he was either. He, himself, was TRAPPED in his own web of lies. What had Issachar done to himself? What had he done to her?

At one point, Virtuous’ faith was on the line too. It seemed she’d lost faith in herself at the same time she’d lost faith in Issachar. She experienced “feelings” of mistrust and weakness regarding the commitment to her own Christianity and Christian works. Issachar’s deception had an profound effect upon everything she believed in.

She went to God’s Word. The bible spoke to her: “…God has said “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you…” (Hebrews 13:5 NIV). “…I AM WITH YOU ALWAYS, to the very end…"(Matthew 28:20 NIV).  Truly, “…God with us…” (Matthew 1:23 NASB). “…If we are unfaithful, he remains faithful, for he cannot deny who he is…” (2 Timothy 2:13 NLT). It is a TRUTH, “…Not one of all the LORD's good promises … failed; every one was fulfilled” (Joshua 21:45 NIV).

She began to pray, mediate, and talk it over with God. It was NOT God she mistrusted, it was Issachar. The life Issachar had lived, to date, had led to EVERY benefit and personal gain they shared together.

Their marital relationship, however, had taken a serious nosedive. The quality, Virtuous “thought” they once had, was long gone. She had been honestly connected to him, but that’s when she thought he was an authentically righteous, honest, and a spiritually good person.

Virtuous was turned off, had lost all respect for her husband, and her commitment toward him was shattered to pieces. Needless to say, she felt betrayed. Her identity as his wife and the well-being she once felt, by his side, had become a hard, gut-punch in her stomach. It made her nausea whenever she thought about it.

It was a challenge to sustain her faith, after discovering Issachar’s true make-up, but God helped her to continually trust in HIM.

It was God, the Holy Spirit, and his holy nature she trusted and depended upon. Talking with God made her feel better and he cared for her more than anyone else did. Virtuous respected God’s sovereignty. She decided she had no choice, but to entrust herself to God.

It was fragile, but God helped keep her trust and dependency upon HIM, alive!

So far, she was the ONLY one being HURT. The pain was current and actively beating the hell out her heart. She had been TRICKED in the most dubious way.

She couldn’t run from it, so she went, quietly, through the process of letting her heart break and there was nothing to prevent the pain.  She knew if she came “CLEAN” and told others the truth it would only bring them harm as it was currently bringing her harm.

Virtuous wanted to correct what had been done, but she knew it would RUIN thousands and thousands of lives. She couldn’t, merely, think about herself. Plus, Issachar is so established, fortified, and popular, many wouldn’t believe her anyway.

The bible says the TRUTH will set you free, but Virtuous wondered would telling the TRUTH, in this case, do MORE HARM than good to other people.

Virtuous sat, in her kitchen, alone, the kids were with relatives, Issachar was travelling, and she pondered over this “mind-boggling” truth once again. She didn’t know how to MOVE ON. She’d been stuck since their 10^th anniversary and now the wedge between them was only getting worst. What role was she playing in this sham? How could she continue to live with Issachar now that she knew the truth?

 WHOLE NOVEL COMING SOON!!

DR PENSACOLA H. JEFFERSON