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CHAPTER 7 AN UNLOVED WOMAN’S UNAPPRECIATED, UNAPPLAUDED
MANAGERS OF THE HOUSEHOLD
“…SHE
RISETH ALSO WHILE IT IS YET NIGHT, AND GIVETH MEAT TO HER
HOUSEHOLD…..SHE IS NOT AFRAID OF THE SNOW FOR HER
HOUSEHOLD: FOR ALL HER HOUSEHOLD IS CLOTHED WITH SCARLET… SHE LOOKETH
WELL TO THE WAYS OF HER HOUSEHOLD…”
(Proverbs 31:15, 21, 27 KJV).
*
Women used to
diligently manage the household. She ran her household (family) smoothly. Each
individual member of the household was well cared for. They were properly
clothed, they were well fed, they were kept clean, and the family schedule
often ran like a well-oiled machine.
According to biblical
tradition men provided for the home and women managed the household. The Hebrew
and Greek words for household all basically mean family, those who dwell under
the same roof, or members of a family.
For example: “…they
that of Casar’s household…” included each individual member under
Casar’s roof; slave, and freedman (Philippians 4:22 KJV). In addition, they
consisted of cooks, gardeners, imperials, doorkeepers, messengers, courtiers,
secretaries, teachers, and other kinds of employees.
Belonging to Casar’s
household meant the slaves, freedman, and each individual member had generous privileges
and significant care because of Casar’s, more than adequate, provisions.
The divisions of
responsibilities were biblically clear to both the husband and wife. Managing a
household is not about simply DOING chores; it is about SERVICING a FAMILY.
One of the biblical
definitions for service is minister. To minister means to hold a chief position
that requires personal attendance to the affairs of another. “…Let every soul
be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of
God: the powers that be are ordained by God…[and]…he
(or she) is the minister of God to thee FOR GOOD…”
(Romans 13:1-2 KJV).
Managing a household is
synonymous to servicing the needs of each individual, within a family. The
family was, at one time, the CORE, collective unit of human life and NOT
individualism.
God has NOT changed;
the family is STILL an important CORE, collective unit to God. . “….if
any provide NOT for his OWN … he
… is WORSE than an infidel….” (1 Timothy 5:8 KJV).“…I
am the Lord, I change NOT…” (Malachi 3:6 KJV). “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever”
(Hebrews 13:8 NIV).
Men were clear about
their responsibility as provider for their families. The husband would work to
make enough money to sufficiently care for and service the essential needs of each
individual in the family (whole household). If he did not provide for his
family; it was considered spiritually dishonorable. “….if
any provide NOT for his OWN, and specially for those of his OWN house,
he hath denied the
FAITH, and is WORSE than an infidel….” (1 Timothy 5:8 KJV).
This DOES “NOT” not
mean woman can’t and don’t HELP or ASSIST their husbands in providing for the
family, but biblically it is his PRIMARY responsibility as HEAD.
“…the HEAD (provider) of EVERY man is Christ and the
HEAD (provider)
of the woman is man; and the HEAD (provider) of Christ is GOD….”
(1 Corinthians 11:3 KJV).
In addition, husbands can and
do HELP and ASSIST the wife in managing the household (family) services, but
biblically it is her PRIMARY responsibility. “…… SHE LOOKETH WELL TO THE WAYS OF HER HOUSEHOLD…”
(Proverbs 31:27 KJV). “…I want younger widows ….to keep house…” (1 Timothy 5:14 NASB). “……manage their homes…” (1
Timothy 5:14 MSG). “…take care of their own homes…”
(1 Timothy 5:14 NLT). “…to manage their
homes…” (1 Timothy 5:14 NIV).
Taking care of the
HOUSEHOLD (family) is NOT an easy servitude, especially for women in the West.
It is NOT always a fulfilling, or appreciated lifestyle. Household (family)
duties were and “STILL” are VERY routine. “…Jesus said to the crowd, “…I was there teaching EVERY DAY…”
(Matthew 26:55 NLT). “…And EVERY DAY, in the Temple and from house to house,
they continued to teach and preach this message: “Jesus is the Messiah….”
(Acts 5:42 NLT).
The husband serves God as the provider of the family and the wife serves God as the manager of the household,
but both serve God as ministers of the
Gospel to the household or family. “… whatsoever …
[the man or woman does,]…[Let
them] … do it heartily, as to the Lord, and
not unto men…” (Colossians 3:23 KJV). “…Believe
on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved, and thy house[hold]…” (ACTS
16:31 KJV).
After a HEAD of a
family had a miraculous encounter with God where Jesus HEALED his son; he was
saved and his whole household. “…the
father…himself
believed, and his whole house[hold]…”
(John 4:53 KJV). “…Cornelius….a devout
man…that feared God with all his
house[hold]….”
(Acts 10:2 KJV). “…thou and thy house[hold] shall be saved…”
(Acts 11:14 KJV). “…when she (Lydia) was baptized and her household….”
(Acts 16:15 KJV). “…Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou
shalt be saved, and the house[hold]…”
(Acts 10:31 KJV).
The household (family)
was a place of ministry and was incorporated into the routine tasks of daily
life.
Back in the day or traditionally, managing
the household (family) was a routine. Routines can quickly become dull, dismal,
monotonous, boring, and repetitive.
Women in the West, eventually, began to
see household (family) routines as inflexible, unexciting, constraining,
obligatory, limiting, the sure road to complacency, and often unappreciated or
rewarding.
Managing the household (family) often
meant following a routine schedule of some kind. A schedule kept things on track
and ensured certain tasks were done every single day, such as serving,
discerning needs, hugging, kissing, getting husband and children off to work
and school, and carpooling to after school activities.
Producing positive skills meant a woman
could choose daily tasks that were good for her household (family), for her own
care, for her husband, for others, and for family (household) goals. Daily, household
(family) routines built special skills.
However, household (family) routines included
many days of dull, dismal, monotonous, and repetitive tasks. Thus, managing
household (family) routines were meant to be a BLESSING to a woman, her
husband, her children, and her community.
Household (family) routines allowed women
to focus on serving or ministering to her husband and children’s individual
needs, including spiritual needs. Focusing on her husband and children’s
individual needs resulted in a BLESSED domestic experience.
A BLESSED domestic experience resulted in
transformed, Godly actions and transformed Godly actions resulted in wholesome,
spiritual family lifestyles. . “… SHE LOOKETH WELL TO THE WAYS OF HER
HOUSEHOLD…” (Proverbs 31:27
KJV). “…whatsoever [the woman does], [Let her]…do it heartily, as to the Lord, and
not unto men…” (Colossians 3:23 KJV).
Routine plays an important role in ANY
Godly PURPOSE, especially when it comes to the HOLY command of becoming
conformed to the image of God’s son or being transformed by the renewing of the
mind. “…God …predestined [you] to be
conformed to the image of his Son…” (Romans 8:29 NIV). “…be transformed BY the renewing of your mind….” (Romans 12:1 KJV).
Routine allows for
days, weeks, months, or years of Christlike PRACTICE from ministering to one’s
household (family). “…In this world we are
like Jesus…” (1 John 4:17 NIV). . “……those
who are MATURE …through
training have the skill to
recognize the difference between right and wrong…”
(Hebrews 5:12-14 NLT).
A wife is assigned to her ROLE of managing
a household in order to serve God’s sovereign will, first and foremost. Like
Jesus, she did “…not
come to be served,
but to serve….” (Matthew 20:28 NIV).
Another Hebrew word for serve is abad,
which
means to work. Jesus said, “…for the works which the Father
has given Me to finish, the same works that I do, bear witness of me, that the
Father has sent Me…” (John 5:36 KJV). “For I came down from heaven, not
to do mine own will but the will of him who that me…” (John 6:38 KJV).
Jesus found fulfillment from serving God’s
sovereign will. “…Then Jesus explained: "My nourishment comes from doing the will of God, who sent me, and from finishing his work” (John
4:34 NLT).
Jesus literally “WAS” God’s personal
servant from his heart. Another Hebrew word for serve is sharath,
which particularly means to become a “personal servant to someone.” “Though
he were a Son, yet learned he obedience by the things he suffered…”
(Hebrews 5:8 KJV). Suffering comes along
with managing a household.
Jesus definitely did “…not come to be
served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.” (Matthew
20:28 KJV). Jesus submitted to God’s sovereign will and served him
wholeheartedly. Jesus confidently said, “…the ... works that I do, bear
witness of me, that the Father has sent me…” (John 5:36 KJV).
Jesus was God’s personal servant while on
earth. Jesus submitted to God sovereign will, no matter the cost, by actually
becoming “…a ransom for many...” Jesus “…humbled himself and became
obedient unto death, even the death of the cross” (Philippians 2:8 KJV). He
was absolutely and totally surrendered.
Jesus is the ultimate example of how and
with what attitude the wife is to steward the responsibilities in her ROLE as
manager of the household. “…do it
heartily, as to the Lord, and
not unto men…” (Colossians 3:23 KJV). “…OBEY…not with eye-service, as men-pleasers; but in
singleness of heart, fearing God…”
(Colossians 3:22 KJV). “…whatsoever ye do in WORD or DEED, do ALL in the name of the Lord Jesus…” (Colossians 3:17 KJV).
She is to “become” a personal servant to
God’s sovereign will through the enablement of the indwelling Holy Spirit. “…For it is God who works in …
[her]… to will and to act in order to fulfill his good
purpose” (Philippians 2:13 NIV). “…Wives,
be subject to your own
husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as
Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so
also the wives ought to be
to their husbands in everything…” (Ephesians 5:23-24 NASB).
God called Jesus his “beloved Son” in
whom he was well pleased (Matthew 3:17).
Managing a HOUSEHOLD
(family) is “still” a Godly PURPOSE. “…Older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their
children, to live wisely and be pure, to
work in their homes,
to do
good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then
they will not bring shame on the word of God…”
(Titus 2:4-5 NLT).
When God is invited and
included into the routine activities of a woman’s life, he will EMPOWER her and
EQUIP her with EVERYTHING she needs to be manager of the household. “…Now
may the God of peace, … that great Shepherd of the sheep, equip you with everything
good for doing his will, and may he work
in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ…” (Hebrews
13:20-21 NIV).
When God is invited and
included into a woman’s routine activities, managing her household (family) becomes
the Godly PURPOSE it was MEANT to be. “…HE WHICH HATH “BEGUN” A GOOD “WORK”
IN [them]… “WILL” “PERFORM” IT “UNTIL” the day of Jesus Christ…”
(Philippians 1:6 KJV).
One good thing about
the opportunity of managing a household (family) is the freedom to live-out a
Godly purpose. “…Go therefore and
MAKE DISCIPLES of all the
nations...” (Matthew 28:19 KJV). “…TEACH these new DISCIPLES to obey all the commands I have given you…”
(Matthew 28:20 KJV). “….So the DISCIPLES went out, TELLING everyone they met to repent of
their sins and turn to God…” (Mark 6:12 KJV). “…And the DISCIPLES
WENT everywhere and preached, and the Lord worked through them,
confirming what they said by many miraculous signs….” (Mark 16:20 NLT).
However, managing a
household (family) is NOT readily appreciated and MOST women DON’T find or take
PRIDE in it ANY MORE. It’s almost a THING of the past. “….[Your] FATHER
which SEETH in secret, SHALL “REWARD” [you]… OPENLY….”
(Matthew 6:18 KJV). “…knowing that OF the Lord ye shall RECEIVE the REWARD…”
(Colossians 3:24 KJV).
Taking the MERE
position as a wife who stewards the responsibilities of her God-given role by
managing her household (family) is degrading.
“…So don’t let anyone condemn you for what you eat or drink, or for not
celebrating certain holy days or new moon ceremonies or Sabbaths… Don’t let anyone condemn you by insisting on pious self-denial …Their sinful minds have made them proud, and they are not connected to Christ,
the head of the body. For he holds the whole body together with its joints and
ligaments, and it grows as God nourishes it. You have died with Christ, and he
has set you free from the spiritual powers of this world. So why do you keep on following the rules of the world, such as, “Don’t handle! Don’t
taste! Don’t touch!” [or Don’t simply manage your household…]? Such
rules are mere human teachings about things that deteriorate as we use them.
These rules may seem wise because they require strong
devotion, pious self-denial, and severe bodily discipline. But they provide no
help in conquering a person’s evil desires…”
(Colossians 2:16-23 NLT).
For those who can afford
it, they hire a maid. Managing a household (family) has been reduced, by the
WORLD, to MERE maid-service. Don’t listen to them: follow God’s WAY. Managing a
household was NOT meant to be a maid service, but a PEOPLE (family) service. “…So
don’t put up with anyone pressuring you in details of …[managing a household]…
Don’t tolerate people who try to run your life…. They’re a
lot of hot air, that’s all they are. They’re completely out of touch with the source of life, Christ, who
puts us together in one piece, whose very breath and blood flow through us. He
is the Head and we are the body. We can grow up healthy in God only as he
nourishes us. So, then, if with Christ
you’ve put all that pretentious and infantile religion behind you, why do you let yourselves be bullied by it? “Don’t touch
this! Don’t taste that! Don’t go near this!” Do you think things that
are here today and gone tomorrow are worth that kind of attention? Such
things sound impressive if said in a deep enough voice. They even give the
illusion of being pious and humble and ascetic. But they’re just another way of
showing off, making yourselves look important…” (Colossians 16:23 MSG).
Merely managing a
household (family), for most women, would be TOO humbling! As a woman, I totally understand. Women’s
attitudes would have to change about what it is to REALLY manage a household. They
would have to choose God’s way over their OWN way. “…If
My people which are called by My name SHALL HUMBLE THEMSELVES …AND TURN FROM their wicked ways…”
(2 Chronicles 7:14 KJV).
God gave the wife the PURPOSE of managing
the household (family). Unfortunately, managing a household includes many days
of dull, commonplace, monotonous, and repetitive tasks. However “…[The wife’s]… TIMES are in …[God’s]… hand…” (Psalms 31:15a KJV). “…[Her]… FUTURE is in [God’s]… hands…” (Psalms
31:15a NLT). “….To every [thing there is] a season, and A TIME to every purpose under the heaven…” (Ecclesiastes
3:1 KJV). “…For the vision [is] yet FOR AN APPOINTED TIME, but at the end it shall
speak, and not lie: though it tarry, WAIT FOR IT; because IT WILL SURELY COME, it will not tarry….” (Habakkuk 2:3
KJV). “…And in the PROCESS of TIME “IT” CAME TO PASS…” (Genesis
4:3 KJV).
Routine teaches the greatest lesson on PATIENT
ENDURANCE. “…..let PATIENCE
have its perfect work….” (James 1:2-4 KJV).
Patient endurance
requires TIME. TIME can be PAINFUL. “…Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
But desire fulfilled is a tree of life…” (Proverbs 13:12 NASB). However, “… they that
WAIT UPON the LORD shall
renew [their] strength…” (Isaiah 40:31 KJV). “…WAIT ON the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall
strengthen thine heart: WAIT, I say, on the LORD…” (Psalms 27:14 KJV).
“…The LORD [is] good unto them that WAIT FOR HIM…”
(Lamentations 3:25 KJV). “…THOUGH IT TARRY, WAIT FOR IT….”
(Habakkuk 2:3 KJV).
Managing the household
or ministering to those who belong to the family can be disappointing at times,
especially if they are NOT living RIGHT. Yet, “…My brethren ….the testing of your faith produces PATIENCE. But let
PATIENCE have its perfect work,
that you may be perfect (mature) and
complete, lacking nothing….” (James 1:2-4 KJV). “…Dear brothers and sisters
…when your faith is tested, your ENDURANCE has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your ENDURANCE is fully developed, you
will be perfect (mature) and complete, needing nothing….”
(James 1:2-4 NLT). “…Therefore, LET US PRESS ON TO
MATURITY…” (Hebrews 6:1 NASB).
The testing of your
faith, particularly during the routine days of managing the stubborn,
rebellious, and unrelenting individuals of the household, produces PATIENCE.
PATIENCE is one of the
GREATEST blessings that come of out of the long-term assignment of managing a household.
It is “IN” the ROUTINE of managing one’s household that PATIENCE endurance
emerges
Managing a household
will NO DOUBT produce PATIENCE, which, according to the bible, is the end
result of a perfect and complete work of FAITH. “…My brethren ….the testing of your faith produces PATIENCE. But
let PATIENCE have its perfect
work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing….” (James 1:2-4
KJV).
The tireless and
seemingly unending tasks of managing a household served a GREATER purpose by
influencing the Godly trait of PATIENCE. The bible says, “…let it grow, for when your ENDURANCE (patience) is fully developed, you
will be perfect and complete, needing nothing….” (James 1:2-4 NLT).
Transformation takes time. God wants ALL
his children to genuinely “…[conformed] …to
the image of His Son…” (Romans 8:29 KJV). God will use the routines of life
to transform his sons and daughter.
Transformation is a PROCESS; a process of
any kind, involves a sequence of actions or movements that effect forward changes.
These forward changes can be a gradual, or rapid, or extremely slow, or a
steady procession of activities.
Regardless of how fast or how slow the transformation
PROCESS is; it is ALWAYS a continuous sequence of actions or movements with a definite
purpose and end result.
God’s transformation PROCESS aims to move
or carry his sons and daughters forward into Christlikeness.
The sequence of actions or movements, in a
transformation PROCESS, are individual real-life, applicable tasks that ALL
link together to produce Christlikeness.
The
transformation PROCESS of sequences and actions are about an individual
BECOMING altered through the continual procession of forward movements. Eventually,
the transformation PROCESS will produce Christlikeness; after a required amount
of time.
Like it or not,
the transformation PROCESS involves TIME and the WORKING together of certain tasks
or procedures, or sequences.
TIME
is the challenge of the transformation PROCESS. Most people get tired of the routines
in which transformation PROCESSESS are embedded. God has NOT and WILL NOT
change his allotted TIME for your transformation PROCESS.
“…I am the Lord, I change NOT…”
(Malachi 3:6 KJV). “Jesus Christ is the
same
yesterday and today and forever”
(Hebrews 13:8 NIV).
Your transformation is
so IMPORTANT to God; he will NOT reduce the time or scale back the tasks
necessary to complete this WORK in your life. “…And in the PROCESS of time
“IT” CAME TO PASS…”
(Genesis 4:3 KJV).
In the PROCESS of God’s TIME your
Christlike transformation will come to pass. ROUTINE days, unfortunately, are a
BIG part of this process. The transformation PROCESS, like the process from
caterpillar to butterfly, WILL bring forth Christlikeness. “…And in the PROCESS of time
“IT” CAME TO PASS…” (Genesis
4:3 KJV).
TIME is one of the most CHALLENGING parts
of routine and it DEFINITELY TESTS your faith.
Day after day, week after week, month
after month, and sometimes, year after year; ROUTINE becomes DULL, DISMAL, PAINFUL,
TIRING, MONOTONOUS, BORING, and DRAB, yet MIRACULOUSLY it produces the
beautiful flower of patience endurance. “…My brethren ….the testing of your faith produces PATIENCE….” (James
1:2-4 KJV).
The testing of a
woman’s faith can happen during the ongoing routine of managing her household
for years. She may have thought to herself: “Enough already!”
Does God seem to take
TOO long to turn situations and circumstances around? It is no surprise that
managing the household has lost its appeal, even to the Godly woman. Yet God
says, “….let PATIENCE have its perfect work, that you may be perfect (mature) and complete
(grown), lacking
nothing….” (James 1:2-4 KJV).
The often, long-term
transformation process becomes a divine path to full-grown spiritual maturity
(perfect and complete). “…let it grow, for when your ENDURANCE (patience) is fully developed, you
will be perfect and complete, needing nothing….” (James 1:2-4 NLT).
God has ordered and embedded the wife’s
transformation process into her routine as manager of her household. “The
steps of a good man (or woman) are ordered by the Lord: and he delighteth in his way…”
(Psalms 37:23 KJV).
Thus, “….let PATIENCE have its
perfect work….” (James 1:2-4 KJV). The transformation PROCESS must
be completed. It is a God-ordained way to work Christlikeness into one’s character. “…that you
may be perfect (mature) and complete (grown), LACKING NOTHING….”
(James 1:2-4 KJV).
The sequence of actions in the
transformation PROCESS, are individual tasks that ALL link together to produce Christlike
PATIENCE.
The
transformation PROCESS is about you BECOMING conformed to the image of Christ through
routine behaviors that move you forward toward this God-given goal. “…be conformed …to the image of His Son…”
(Romans 8:29 KJV).
Eventually, PROCESS will produce Christlike
PATIENCE. “…And in the PROCESS of
time IT CAME TO PASS…”
(Genesis 4:3 KJV). “…YOU HAVE “NEED” OF
ENDURANCE (patience) …so you may receive
the promise…” (HEBREWS 10:36 KJV).
ROUTINE is part of the transforming
PROCESS. Wives are to be encouraged to KEEP TRUSTING GOD through the challenging
tasks of managing her household “….LET US
NOT GROW WEARY while doing
good, for in DUE SEASON we shall reap
if we do not lose heart…”
(Galatians 6:9 KJV). “…‘We’ve given up everything
to follow you…” (Mark 10:28-31 NLT). And Jesus said to him, “…I assure you that everyone who has given up house
or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or property, for my sake and for the Good News,
will receive
now in return a hundred times as many
houses, brother, sisters, mothers, children, and property – along
with persecution. And in the world to
come that person will have eternal life...” (Mark 10:28-31 NLT).
The unloved woman, who is married and
unappreciated, should NOT give up! LET US
NOT GROW WEARY …”
(Galatians 6:9 KJV).
The patience endurance from the routine of
managing the household (family) turns a woman into a BLESSING of EXCELLENCE beyond
compare FROM God and the people she SERVICED. “…Her
children rise up and bless her; Her husband also, and he praises her, saying: “Many daughters have
done nobly, But you excel them all.” Charm is deceitful and
beauty is vain, But a
woman who fears the Lord, she shall be
praised. Give her the product of her hands, And
let her works praise her in the gates…”
(Proverbs 31:10-31 NASB).
When God is included and helps establish a
routine of managing a household (family) it becomes and serves a HIGHER
purpose. “….Verily I say unto you,
inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these, my brethren, YE
HAVE DONE IT TO ME.” (Matthew 25:40 KJV). “…be conformed …to the image of His Son…”
(Romans 8:29 KJV).
What are “some” of the main reasons women
no longer want to MERELY manage the household? Her DESIRES, like Eve’s, are
altered by Satan. “When … [Eve]… saw (senses) that the fruit of the tree
was good for food and pleasing to the eye (affections), and
also desirable for gaining wisdom (emotions) she took some and ate it…”
(Genesis 3:6 NIV).
In
most cases, not all, it is personal pride, it is unrewarding, it is degrading, and/or
unappreciated to simply manage a household (family). “….from WITHIN,
out of a
person’s heart, come …pride….. All these vile things
come from WITHIN…”
(Mark 7:20-23 NLT).
Many women, not all, don’t like the idea
of being someone’s unappreciated maid or serving some menial or meaningless
purpose in life. Yet, family life is DYING. “…Every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his
own lust, and enticed. Then
when lust hath conceived, it BRINGETH FORTH SIN: and sin, when it is finished,
BRINGETH FORTH DEATH…”
(James 1:13-15 NLT). “…There is a way which seemeth right unto a [wo]man, but the end thereof are the ways of DEATH...”
(Proverbs 14:20 KJV). “…There is a way that seemeth right
unto a [wo]man, but the end thereof are
the ways DEATH ….” (Proverbs
16:25 KJV).
Many women, not all, don’t like the idea
of being at the mercy of their husbands, or subject to him, or totally
dependent on him either. Perspective is EVERYTHING. “…whatsoever
[the woman does], [Let her]…do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not
unto men…” (Colossians 3:23 KJV). “…OBEY…not with
eye-service, as men-pleasers; but in singleness of heart,
fearing God…” (Colossians 3:22 KJV). “…whatsoever ye do
in WORD or DEED, do ALL in the name of the Lord Jesus…” (Colossians 3:17 KJV).
Past
experiences or too many visual examples of other women who have been left in
horrible positions from simply managing their households (families) and
following traditional roles serve as WARNINGS. "…For I hate divorce," says the LORD, the God of Israel, "and him (the
husband) who covers his garment
with wrong," says the LORD of hosts. "So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously [with
your wife]…" (Malachi 2:16 NASB).“…I will recompense (repay)," saith the Lord…” (Romans 12:19 ASV). BECAUSE. “…[They]…HAVE DONE IT TO ME [also]…” (Matthew 25:40 KJV).
Many
wealthy women have been managers of households (families). Many PRODUCT ideas
came from women managing their households “…An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above
jewels. …She considers a field and buys it; …She senses that her gain is good …But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her the product
of her hands, And let her works praise her in the gates…” (Proverbs 31:10-31 NASB). “...Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.” (1 Peter 5:7 KJV). “…I WILL turn
the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I WILL do; I WILL not forsake them” (Isaiah 42:16 NIV). “…The LORD WILL accomplish (take care of)…that which concerns [you]…” (Psalms 138:8 NASB).
There are VERY good reasons and opinions
for avoiding the call of PRIMARILY managing a household (family), but it
doesn’t change God’s mandate. . “….if
any …[HUSBAND]….provide NOT for his OWN…he
,,,is WORSE than an infidel….” (1 Timothy 5:8 KJV).
Many women, especially
in the WEST, have moved away from merely managing HOUSEHOLD concerns.
Woman began to find managing the HOUSEHOLD
was stressful, overwhelming, boring, un-applauded, uncelebrated, routine, and
not readily rewarding. “…One person esteems one DAY above
another; another esteems EVERY DAY alike (routine, boring, unfulfilling). Let each be fully convinced in
his own mind.…”
(ROMANS 14:5 KJV).
Women begin to redirect the meaning of
their ROLES as a wife and redefine their PRIMARY responsibilities.
Managing a HOUSEHOLD is a biblical mandate.
“…SHE LOOKETH WELL TO THE WAYS OF HER
HOUSEHOLD…” (Proverbs 31:15, 21, 27 KJV).
Deciding to manage a household must be
approached prayerfully; with the HELP of God’s holy word and the assistance of
his indwelling HOLY SPIRIT. “…I will INSTRUCT you and TEACH you in the
way
which you should go….” (Psalms 32:8 KJV). “…For it is God who works in
you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good
purpose” (Philippians 2:13 NIV). “…Now may the God of peace, … that
great Shepherd of the sheep, equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what
is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and
ever. Amen” (Hebrews 13:20-21 NIV). “….Apart from Me, you can do nothing…” (John 15:5 NIV).
The divisions of
responsibilities are heavily debated in the 21st century, but
believers are to submit to God’s instructions for stewarding the
responsibilities of their ROLES in the marriage. “…I will
counsel you with my eye upon you….”
(Psalms 32:8 KJV). “…Can two walk together, except they be agreed?...”
(Amos 3:3 KJV).
Arguments would be minimal if
married couples settled their conflicts, regarding issues of responsibilities,
by SEEKING God’s instructions. “…Seek ye FIRST the kingdom of God, and
his righteousness; and all these things
shall be added unto you….” (Matthew 6:33 KJV). “…IF MY PEOPLE, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek
my face,
and turn from their
wicked ways;
then I WILL HEAR
FROM HEAVEN AND WILL FORGIVE THEIR SIN, AND WILL HEAL THEIR LAND (conflicts)….” (2
Chronicles 7:14 KJV). “…Seek the Kingdom of God ABOVE ALL ELSE,
and live righteously, and he
will give you everything you need…”
(Matthew 6:33 NLT).
Men are PRIMARILY providers
and women PRIMARILY manage the household. “….if
any…[husband]… provide NOT for his OWN, and specially for those of his OWN house
…he ….is WORSE than an
infidel….”
(1 Timothy 5:8 KJV). “…[the
wife]… LOOKETH WELL TO THE WAYS OF HER HOUSEHOLD…”
(Proverbs 31:27 KJV).
Though things have
changed in the 21st century and the division of responsibilities are
ambiguous at best; the PRIMARY biblical ROLES have NOT change. Man is STILL THE
provider and the woman STILL THE manager of the household.
Unfortunately, these
traditional ROLES were abused, inappropriately mishandled, and became selfishly
dysfunctional where economic and cultural inequality, between genders,
resulted.
Yet in the shadows of
what remains of the traditional ROLES, there are some couples who STILL prefer
relationships that have a CLEAR “provider” and CLEAR “manager of the
household.”
Traditional ROLES hold
some spiritual and practical benefits for the husband and wife that are STILL
advantageous over the more modern version of marriage.
Men who pride
themselves on being a provider enjoy giving his wife the opportunity to fully
manage the household.
Having his wife manage
the household, yet giving her the personal freedom to pursue her dreams, if so
desired, is preferred. Not only does it provide a clear division of
responsibilities, but it also offsets career conflicts.
Career conflicts arise
when both the husband and wife have highly demanding jobs. Two highly demanding
jobs will, most likely, create stress on the division of responsibilities
around the management of the household.
In a two-career
marriage, professional demands affect the private and often necessary demands
of managing the household. Under the two-career marriage whose responsibility
will it be to give appropriate attention to managing the household?
Traditionalists prefer
to avoid these conflicts and the stress that come along with the two-career
marital situation. “…Can two walk together, except they be agreed?”
(Amos 3:3 KJV).
Men and women, who desire
to adhere to the biblically traditional ROLES, will uphold the man as
“provider” and the woman as “manager of the household.”
Those couples with a traditional
Christian background will attempt to submit to God’s attitude regarding marital
and family ROLES.
However, men, Christian
or non-Christian, who have a traditional mindset about marriage and family, are
said to prefer spouses who desire to be managers of the household over entrepreneurs
or business owners.
One of the reasons,
these men, prefer traditional spouses are NOT to have a private maid-service,
but because of a desire for the balance of focus it provides for the marital
relationship itself.
Having a “manager of
the household” aid in maintaining and sustaining focus on the intimate life, love,
and support that keeps the marital relationship, hopefully, a PRIORITY.
A maid-service is
simply a hired butler or housekeeper who takes care of the cooking and cleaning
without any intimate obligation to the spouse, family, or their social
commitments.
A traditional “manager
of the household” knows that unconditional love, support, and the comfort of
care are priorities. The most important heartbeat in one’s personal marital
life is the LOVE. “…he
(or she) is the minister of God to thee FOR GOOD…”
(Romans 13:1-2 KJV).
A good “manager of the
household,” helps her husband, KEEP the BIBLICAL mandate of providing for his
OWN. “….if any provide NOT for
his OWN
… he … is WORSE than an
infidel….”
(1 Timothy 5:8 KJV).
Remember, managing a
household is synonymous to servicing or ministering to the needs of each
individual, within a family. “… whatsoever …
[the woman does,]…[Let
her] … do it heartily, as to the Lord, and
not unto men…” (Colossians 3:23 KJV).
Jesus had a ROLE in this life. Jesus came
to earth to “…to serve,
and to give His life a
ransom for many….”
(Matthew 20:28 NIV).
Because of his ROLE, “…The Spirit of the Lord [was]... upon [Jesus], because he
hath anointed [him]…
to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent
[him]… to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised, To preach the
acceptable year of the Lord…”
(John 4:16-21 KJV).
Jesus’ ONE ROLE expanded to include that of
preacher, teacher, healer, deliverer, sight giver, liberator, and do-gooder.
In addition, “…God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Ghost and WITH POWER: who
went about doing good, and healing
all that were oppressed of the devil; for GOD WAS WITH HIM…”
(Acts 10:38-39 KJV).
God is the ONE who appreciates
the unloved woman, who is married, but not applauded in her ROLE as manager of
the household. “…God …[has also]…anointed [the wife]… WITH POWER …[and she can go]…about
doing good, and healing
all that [are in her household]; for GOD
…[is]… WITH [her]…”
(Acts 10:38-39 KJV). JESUS SAID: “…Verily, verily, I say
unto you, He that believeth on me, the works that I do shall he do also; and greater works than these shall he do…”
(John 14:1 KJV).
“…[The
WIFE]… CAN DO all things through Christ which strengtheneth [her]…”
(Philippians 4:13 KJV). “…it is God
who works in …[her]… to will and to act in order to fulfill his good
purpose…” (Philippians 2:13 NIV). “… the God of peace…
that great Shepherd of the sheep, equip[s]…[her]… with everything good for doing his will, and …work[s] in [her]… what
is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ…” (Hebrews 13:20-21 NIV).
Thus, “….[Your] FATHER which SEETH in secret, SHALL “REWARD” [you]…
OPENLY….” (Matthew 6:18 KJV). “…knowing
that OF the Lord ye shall RECEIVE
the REWARD…” (Colossians 3:24 KJV).
Therefore, unappreciated
or un-rewarded by man or NOT; “…… SHE
LOOKETH WELL TO THE WAYS OF HER HOUSEHOLD…”
(Proverbs 31:27 KJV). “… whatsoever …
[the woman does,]…[she
does it] …heartily, as to the Lord, and
not unto men…” (Colossians 3:23 KJV).
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