Sunday, April 3, 2016

TRANSFORMING LOVE (THE LEAKY CUP)

When you go to the world begging for your "other" needs to be met by something or someone, it is the same as walking through life with a leaky cup in your hand.
Pensacola Helene

Does your cup have a leak?


When I speak about needs, I'm not talking about basic needs such as water, food, clothing, a place to live, or the apple a day that keeps the doctor away.

I am talking about the private needs you have that create an inner belief that you are living with some kind of deficiency.

When you pursue relationships with others your motive is everything. There is a difference between pursuing someone because they interest you; and simply pursuing them to fulfill a need. Getting those "other" needs met is the exception, not the rule. Having needs met are the benefits of relationships, but not the main focus.

You can pursue relationships to fulfill a  healthy need, as long as you know the difference between a vessel and a source. For instance, it is healthy to need and desire loving relationships and also to pursue them. However,  knowing you are already loved and the source of that is God makes a difference. Then you can pursue a loving relationship knowing "I am loved", so you can pursue it whole. We are talking about the inner motive.

When we pursue relationships whole; the need for love is not about receiving it but giving it. "Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full—pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back” (Luke 6:38 NLT)

I chose to talk about the inner journey because I want to see people pursue their relationships whole, not broken. It will eliminate the disappointment, heartbreak, or depression from not having those needs fulfilled through one particular person, who is a vessel and not the source.

You are already loved. You are already whole from God's love, who is the ultimate source. When you truly know this, you can enjoy the relationship journey, without anything making you feel desperate or needy. Further, your relationship with another can truly flow into the life of another from a healthy place.

If you are pursuing relationships for the simply joy and satisfaction they bring, all other benefits will come naturally. When we come to our relationships with the purpose of using them to get some need met, we might as well have a cup in our hands that constantly leaks. Don't be a beggar.

Come to life whole. Come to your relationships whole. Share you love and life with others whole. When you come with your cup already filled, you will discover that your cup, instead of leaking, will begin to overflow. Those who understand and have taken their journey with the wholeness of self; left us with the phrase, "My cup runneth over." (Psalm 23).

So, come whole - to your relationship - and share your WHOLE self with them. When you give, it will be given back to you in abundance. Will you seriously look at your motives for pursuing your relationships and ask yourself: Do I come with a leaky cup in my hands?

Dr Pensacola Helene Jefferson

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