CHAPTER 5: A UNLOVED WOMAN: UNAPPRECIATED
“….Many
daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellent them all…a woman that FEARED the Lord. SHE “shall” be praised….”
(Proverbs 31:29-30 KJV).
*
Every Christian woman has thought about
the virtuous wife, in Proverbs 31, at one time or another. In this particular
chapter, King Lemuel shares the advice his mother gave him regarding the
characteristics of a noble or “…virtuous
wife...” and how her value was “…far
above rubies…” (Proverbs 31:10 KJV).
In verses 10-31 it elaborates on the type
of wife King Lemuel’s mother thought he should seek after: “…An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above
jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack of gain. She
does him good and not evil All the days of her life.
She looks for wool and flax And works
with her hands in delight. She is like merchant ships;
She brings her food from afar. She
rises also while it is still night And gives food to
her household And portions to her maidens. She considers a field and buys it; From her
earnings she plants a vineyard. She girds herself with
strength And makes her arms strong. She senses that her gain is good; Her lamp
does not go out at night. She stretches out her hands
to the distaff, And her hands grasp the spindle.
She extends her hand to the poor, And
she stretches out her hands to the needy. She is not
afraid of the snow for her household, For all her
household are clothed with scarlet. She makes coverings
for herself; Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
Her husband is known in the gates, When
he sits among the elders of the land. She makes linen
garments and sells them. And
supplies belts to the tradesmen. Strength and dignity
are her clothing, And she smiles at the future. She opens her mouth in wisdom, And the teaching
of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the
ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of
idleness. Her children rise up and bless her; Her husband also,
and he praises her, saying:
“Many daughters have done nobly, But
you excel them all.” Charm is deceitful and beauty is
vain, But
a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her the product of her hands, And let
her works praise her in the gates…” (Proverbs
31:10-31 NASB).
What impresses me about
the virtuous woman is NOT so much WHAT she DOES, but WHO she is; character-wise.
. “…The
heart of her husband trusts in her, …” (Proverbs
32 NASB). She is a supportive, trustworthy woman whose character is a blessing
to her husband. “…He will have no lack of
gain. She does him
good and
not evil All the days of her life…” (Proverbs
32 NASB).
She is NOT selfish, but
looks out for her husband’s interest and those of others. “…Her husband is known in the
gates, When
he sits among the elders of the land. She
makes linen garments and sells them.
And supplies belts to the tradesmen…”
(Proverbs 31 NASB).
She stewards the responsibilities
of her ROLE by contently submitting to the many tasks it requires, such as
sewing, cooking, caring for her household, attending to the poor and needy, and
making sure her part of her husband’s concerns are taken care of. “… [She]… works with her hands in delight. …She rises also while it
is still night …Her lamp does not go out at night. She
stretches out her hands to the distaff, And her hands
grasp the spindle. She extends her hand to the poor,
And she stretches out her hands to the needy… She looks well
to the ways of her household, And does not eat the
bread of idleness.… Her husband is known in the gates …Her husband … praises her…” (Proverbs 31:10-31 NASB).
She teaches kindness
and imparts wisdom to those in her sphere of influence. She is able to minister
to others through her many shared offerings of food, clothing, and talents. God
has given her special GIFTS that are able to extend beyond her immediate
responsibilities (husband, children, family, etc.) into the community. “…She opens her mouth in wisdom, And the teaching of
kindness is on her tongue...Give her the product of her hands, And let her works praise her in the gates…”
(Proverbs 31:10-31 NASB).
She stays abreast of
current events by educating and engaging herself with what’s happening in the
world of business. She uses this information to the best advantage by allowing
it to help her become more adept at stewarding her God-given responsibilities. “….She considers a field and buys it; From her earnings she plants
a vineyard … She senses that
her gain is good…Give her the product of her hands, And
let her works praise her in the gates…”
(Proverbs 31:10-31 NASB).
A woman is able to
steward the responsibilities of her ROLE when she “KNOWS” her value. “…She…[knows
she]… is more precious than rubies…” (Proverbs 31:10 NASB).
Therefore, she does NOT
neglect her own spiritual or physical needs. She takes care of her appearance
and strives to clothe herself with Godly character. “…She girds herself with strength And makes her arms strong. …She makes coverings for herself …Strength and dignity are her
clothing …She senses that her
gain is good ….And she smiles at the
future…” (Proverbs 31:10-31 NASB).
She can stand up with
Job and say: “…I know that my Redeemer lives…”
(Job 19:25 NASB). She knows that she was called by God in her
ministry to her husband as his HELPMEET, her family, and her community. “…by the GRACE of God I am what I am (a HELPMEET)…”
(1 Corinthians 15:10 NIV).
She knows God will ENABLE her to steward
her responsibilities as long as she continues to trust him. “…HE WHICH HATH “BEGUN” A GOOD
“WORK” IN [her]… “WILL” “PERFORM” IT “UNTIL” the day of Jesus Christ…”
(Philippians 1:6 KJV).
She does NOT worry about whether her
husband is doing right or wrong. She
knows how to put him into God’s hands so she has the freedom to continually and
faithfully serve God. “...Fret not
thyself because of evildoers ….
Trust in the Lord, and [continue to]…do
good ...Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall
give thee the desires of thine heart. Commit thy ways unto the Lord; trust also
in him; and he shall bring it to pass. …Rest in the Lord, and wait
patiently for him …" (Psalm 37:1-11 KJV). “…If
any (husband) obey NOT the word, they…may without
the word be
won by the conversation of the wives…..[which is]…the hidden… [wo]man…
of the heart…..the ornament (inner adornment) of a meek and quiet spirit ….” (1
Peter 3:1-6 KJV).
Because she is CERTAIN
of God’s love; she remains in her ROLE, even when things are in conflict.
ASSURED of God’s care, she faithfully continues to steward her responsibilities
without being moved by adversity and life crisis. “…Therefore, my beloved brethren, be
steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your toil is not in
vain in the Lord…” (1 Corinthians 15:58
NASB).
She may not always have
every need met. She may NOT be given the proper ATTENTION for her wonderful
character!! She may not have all she desires. She may not have realized all her
dreams yet, but she continues to SEEK God first anyway. “…I would seek unto God, and unto God would I commit my cause…”
(Job 5:9 KJV). “…They seek Me DAILY, And delight to know My ways…” (Isaiah
58:2 KJV). “Seek the LORD and his
strength, seek his face continually…” (1 Chronicles 16:11 KJV). “… those that seek me early shall find me…”
(Proverbs 8:17 KJV). “…seek, and ye shall find… (Matthew 7:7-8
KJV). “The LORD [is] good …to the soul [that]
seeketh him…” (Lamentations 3:25 KJV). “…seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness;
and all
these things shall be added unto you…” (Matthew 6:33 KJV). “…[King David]…sought the LORD, and he heard [him],
and delivered [him]… from all [his] fears…” (Psalm 34:4 KJV).
She knows that if she GIVES up and
sacrifices EVERYTHING she has to follow God’s purpose; God will give it BACK, abundantly,
to her, in THIS lifetime, just
BECAUSE he loves her and he promised! “…‘We’ve given up everything to follow you…” (Mark 10:28-31
NLT). And Jesus said to him, “…I assure you that everyone who has given up house or brothers or sisters or mother or
father or children or property, for
my sake and for the Good News, will receive now in return a hundred times as many houses, brother, sisters, mothers, children, and property – along with persecution. And in the world to come that person
will have eternal life...” (Mark 10:28-31 NLT).
The noble or virtuous woman is NOT
applauded simply for what she does, but for WHO she is as a Godly woman. “…a woman
who
fears (reverences,
worships, devotes herself to, etc.) the Lord will be greatly praised…”
(Proverbs 30:31 NLT).
Her character exemplifies her commitment to
God, which generously spills over to bless her husband, children, and community
through her many GIFTS, TALENTS, HELPS, and CHRISTIAN CONDUCT!! “…A woman who fears the Lord, she
shall be praised…” (Proverbs 30:31 NASB).
The “noble”
or “virtuous” woman is FIRST and
FOREMOST God’s woman, God’s child, and God’s daughter. “…I
…have severed you from other people, that ye should be mine. …”
(Leviticus 20:26 KJV).
She is SAVED by faith in Jesus Christ and
willingly submits to his will. “…BY GRACE [has the woman]… been saved THROUGH FAITH;
…” (Ephesians 2:8-9 ASV). “…If
the Lord will, [she]
shall live, and do this, or that...” (James 4:16 KJV).
The virtuous woman seeks to please God
regardless of what her husband, children, family, or others are doing around
her. “…..NOT MY WILL, but thine, be done…”
(Luke 22:42 KJV). “…Seek ye FIRST the
kingdom of God, and his righteousness….” (Matthew 6:33 KJV).
By daily communing with God through
prayer, bible study, meditation, and teaching materials she keeps her character
HOLY by his indwelling power. . “…It is God who works IN [the
woman]… to will and
TO ACT…” (Philippians
2:13 NIV). “…Be
IMITATORS of God, as beloved children…” (Ephesians 5:1 NASB). “….that
we would BE HOLY AND BLAMELESS BEFORE HIM…” (Ephesians
1:4 NLT).
She knows that loving, caring for,
ministering to, supporting, being a wife, mother, friend, relative, and
sister-in-Christ requires being taught, rebuked, corrected, and trained in
Godly righteousness; so that she can become thoroughly equipped for the tasks
God has GIFTED her to do. “…The holy scriptures … are able to make [the woman]…
wise unto
salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus. All scripture is
GIVEN by inspiration of God, and is profitable for
doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness. That the man (or woman) of God
may be perfect (mature) thoroughly furnished unto all
GOOD WORKS…” (2 Timothy 3:15-17 KJV).
Self-control, therefore, is one of her many
virtues. It is NOT easy interacting with all the challenging
people she encounters or ministering to, regularly or routinely, others, as she
stewards the responsibilities of her many God-given ROLES. “…The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness,
faithfulness, gentleness and self-control….” (Galatians 5:22-23). “…You are controlled by the
Spirit if you have the Spirit of God living in you…” (Romans
8:1-14 NLT).
It is God who PAYS KEEN ATTENTION to the
character of his daughter. . “...God sees not as man
sees, for man looks at the outward
appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart…”(1 Samuel 16:7
NASB). God zooms in on the “…hidden [wo]man … of the heart…” (1 Peter 3:4
KJV). God helps her. “…It is God who works IN [the
woman]… to will and
TO ACT…” (Philippians
2:13 NIV).
She is a new creation
and allows the indwelling Holy Spirit to transform her into the image of
Christ. “..Therefore
if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away;
behold, all
things are become new” (2 Corinthians 5:17 KJV). “…be conformed to
the image of His Son…” (Romans 8:29 KJV).
“…We should live in this evil world with wisdom, righteousness,
and devotion to God…”
(Titus 2:12 NLT).
Therefore, the virtuous woman is obedient,
encouraging, teaches kindness, imparts wisdom, reframes from gossip, comforts
others when the opportunity arrives, doesn’t make a habit of complaining, makes
an honest attempt to get along with others, is gentle, meek, keeps a clear
conscience, is ready to share her testimony with others, and eagerly does her
many tasks for the glory of God. “…be steadfast, immovable,
always abounding in the work of the Lord…” (1
Corinthians 15:58 NASB). “…Whatever you do, do it
all for the glory of God…” (1
Corinthians 10:31 NLT).
God’s woman, God’s child, and God’s
daughter will exemplify HOLY beauty that emanates from a quiet and gentle
spirit, which truly pleases her heavenly father. “...Let
it (your beauty) be the hidden [wo]man …of the heart…..the ornament of a meek and quiet
spirit which is in the
sight of God of great price...”
(1 Peter 3:1-6 KJV).
A virtuous woman PRIZES
HOLY beauty over physical beauty. She
knows that physical beauty is vain and fleeting, but HOLY beauty is forever
praised. “…Charm is deceitful and beauty
is vain, But a woman who
fears the Lord, she shall be praised…”
(Proverbs 31:30 NASB).
A virtuous woman keeps
up her health and physical appearance. However, she dresses herself physical modestly
because her beauty is NOT limited to outward adornment, but to the UNLIMITED
and UNFADING beauty of her indwelling spirit. “…You wives….without a word….[your husbands can be won over to the Lord
by your]… behavior as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior ...
[Therefore,]….let not your ADORNMENT be MERELY external-braiding the
hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be
the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable
quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight
of God…” (1 Peter 3:1-5 NASB).
Thus, a virtuous woman
does “NOT” SOLELY concentrate on physical beauty and physical adornments like
worldly, carnal, or fleshly woman. “…Bodily exercise profiteth LITTLE, but godliness is PROFITABLE unto ALL things…”
(1 Timothy 4:8 KJV).
Their standard of
adornment comes from their biblical ancestors of the past. “… The
ADORNMENT of a MEEK
and QUIET spirit….after
this manner in the old
time the HOLY women also, who trusted in God, ADORNED
themselves….whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well…”
(1 Peter 3:4-6 KJV).
The virtuous woman
KNOWS she is a work in progress and therefore makes a lifetime practice of
growing in God’s GRACE and KNOWLEDGE. “…Grow in the GRACE and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ…”
(2 Timothy 3:18 NIV). “…By the grace of God [she is who she is]…” (1
Corinthians 15:10 KJV).
Godly character is NOT often appreciated
by those around us, but God wants his daughters to live HOLY anyway. “…be
holy, because I am holy…”
(1 Peter 1:16 KJV). “...be… imitators
of [Jesus]…”
(Hebrews
12:14; Ephesians 5:1 ASV).
A virtuous woman comes to KNOW she is not
married simply for her benefit or the benefit of her husband, even though they
received MANY benefits from their HOLY union, but she is MARRIED for the GLORY,
WILL, PURPOSES, and PLANS of God. “…Whatever you do, do it
all for the glory of God…” (1
Corinthians 10:31 NLT).
The virtuous woman is NOT defeated when
she is NOT properly loved by her husband. She is NOT defeated when her Godly
character is NOT appreciated. She will NOT let herself … become weary in doing good…”
(Galatians 6:9 NIV). She KNOWS “…ALL THINGS
work together for GOOD …” (Romans 8:28 KJV). “…HOPE DOES
NOT DISAPPOINT… (ROMANS 5:5 NASB). “… [And] …at the proper time [SHE]... WILL REAP A HARVEST if [she does]… not give up…”
(Galatians 6:9 NIV). “…And in
the PROCESS of time “IT” [Will
Come]… TO PASS…” (Genesis 4:3 KJV).
When a Godly woman’s character is NOT
noticed or appreciated by ANYBODY else; it is PRECIOUS in God’s SIGHT. “…A gentle and quiet spirit, which
is precious in the sight of God…”
(1 Peter 3:1-5 NASB). “…"…But they do all their deeds to be noticed by men…” (Matthew
23:5 NASB). . “…For they love to … [be] seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have the reward …” (Matthew 6:5 KJV).
God WILL REWARD the
virtuous woman for ALL that she has DONE!! “…Take heed that ye do not your alms before men, to be
seen of them: otherwise
ye have no reward of your Father which is in heaven…” (Matthew
6:1 KJV). “….[Your]
FATHER which SEETH in secret, SHALL “REWARD” [you]… OPENLY….”
(Matthew 6:18 KJV).
“…NOW UNTO
HIM THAT IS ABLE to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask
or think, according to the power that
worketh in us…” (Ephesians 3:20 KJV).
“The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in
green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me
in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Yea, though I walk through
the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me;
thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the
presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
Surely goodness
and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell
in the house of the Lord for ever”
(Psalms 23 KJV).
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