CHAPTER 3: THE UNLOVED WOMAN, WHO IS MARRIED, IS MEANT TO BE A GIFT FROM GOD.
“…Fathers can give their sons an
inheritance of houses and wealth,
but only the Lord can give an understanding wife…”
(Proverbs 19:14 NLT).
*
Women were given to men as a gift from God
from the very beginning and as a complement to his life.
“…It is not good that the man should be
alone; I will make …a helpmeet
for him”…”
(Genesis 2:18 KJV).
“…The
LORD God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to
the man…” (Genesis 2:22 NASB). “…House and riches are the inheritance of
fathers: and a prudent wife is from the Lord. …” (Proverbs
19:14 KJV). “…God
has given us different GIFTS for doing certain things well…” (Romans
12:6 NLT). “…every man (woman) hath his (or her)
proper GIFT of God...” (2 Corinthians 7:7 KJV).
God’s women are his
daughters and he sees them as heirs of the grace of life. “……show her honor as a fellow
heir of the grace of life…” (1
Peter 3:7 NASB).
God’s daughters are “weaker vessels” physically, but NOT mentally or spiritually. They definitely
have a different physically make-up than men. Men are naturally stronger for
the purposes of their roles as protectors or coverings. Nevertheless, “…[the
woman is]….a fellow heir of the grace of life…” (1
Peter 3:7 NASB).
Regardless of her physical make-up a woman
is more than capable of being a man’s counterpart in EVERY way. God designed
her to be his opposite EQUAL. “…. She may
be weaker than you are, but she is your equal
partner in God’s gift of new life…”
(1 Peter 37 NLT).
God’s women are GIFTS that are to be
respected, especially by her husband, through a show of HONOR or their prayers
will be hindered. “…You husbands must give
honor to your wives... Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered…”
(1 Peter 3:7 NLT). “…Ye husbands, dwell with them according to
knowledge, giving honour
unto the wife …that your prayers be not hindered…” (1 Peter 3:7 NASB).
God’s woman is a GIFT
that is to be treated with understanding (kindness, consideration,
appreciation, thoughtfulness, etc.), especially by her husband, since she is a
woman.
“…Treat your wife with understanding as
you live together...”
(1 Peter 3:7 NLT). “…You
husbands in the same way, live with your wives in
an understanding way, as
with someone weaker, since she is a woman…”
(1 Peter 3:7 NASB).
God’s woman as a GIFT is often minimized
because the bible says she is to learn quietly, or be submissive, or have no
spiritual authority over a man, or be saved through child bearing, but that has
NOTHING to do with her inherent worth or personal value as a daughter of God. “…Women should learn quietly and submissively. I do not let women teach men or have authority over them. Let them listen quietly. For God made
Adam first, and afterward he made Eve. And it was
not Adam who was deceived by Satan. The woman was deceived, and sin was the
result. But women
will be saved through childbearing, assuming they
continue to live in faith, love, holiness, and modesty…”
(1 Timothy 2:11-15 NLT).
The
woman has inherent value and personal, God-given worth. “….Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou
excellent them all…a woman that FEARED the Lord. SHE “shall” be
praised….” (Proverbs 31:29-30 KJV). “…She is more precious than
rubies…” (Proverbs 31:10 NASB).
A woman is a GIFT from God and has the
indwelling GIFT of life within her. “…she
is your equal partner in
God’s gift of new life…” (1
Peter 37 NLT). “…Neglect not the gift that is in
[the woman]…” (1 Timothy 4:14 KJV).
“…Jesus Christ is in [the woman too]…” (2
Corinthians 13:5 KJV). “…Christ in [the
woman], …”
(Colossians 1:27 KJV). “…The
Spirit of God dwell in [the woman]…” (Romans 8:9 KJV). “…Christ liveth in [the woman]…” (Galatians 2:20
KJV). “…The Spirit of God dwelleth in [the woman]…” (1
Corinthians 3:16 KJV). “…God hath said, I will dwell in
[the woman]…” (2 Corinthians 6:16 KJV).
Therefore, whatever the husband does to his wife or
however he treats her; he does to and treats Jesus Christ. “….Verily I say unto you, inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these, my brethren, YE HAVE DONE IT TO ME...” (Matthew 25:40 KJV).
A woman is a GIFT from God no matter what
her status (single or married) or ROLE in life is, especially when she lets the
fruit of her Godly character express itself. “…a woman who fears (reverences,
worships, devotes herself to, etc.) the Lord will be greatly praised…” (Proverbs 30:31 NLT). “…A woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised…” (Proverbs 30:31 NASB).
A woman as a GIFT from God is NOT
determined by the order or rank she has, but because she is an heir of salvation.
“… the HEAD (covering) of the woman is
man….” (1 Corinthians 11:3 KJV). However, “…God SHOWS NO FAVORITISM …”
(Acts 10:34-36 NLT). “…God is no RESPECTER OF
PERSONS…” (Acts 10:34-36 KJV). “……There
is NEITHER Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male
nor female…ye are ALL “one” in Christ….”
(Galatians 3:26-28 KJV).
Further, “…God is not a God of disorder but of
peace…” (1 Corinthians 14:33 NIV). “…Let all things be done decently
and in order….” (1 Corinthians 14:40
KJV). “…The steps of a good man (or woman) are ordered by the Lord…” (Psalm 37:23-40
KJV). Therefore, “…Adam was first formed, then
Eve…” (1
Timothy 2:13 KJV).
It
is JUST the order of things, NOT the value
of them. For instance, it has been established that three comes AFTER two and C
comes AFTER B, but all letters and numbers are of equal importance when it
comes to their USE; regardless of her order, “…the woman is the GLORY of man…” (1 Corinthians 11:7
KJV). Therefore, “…whatsoever [the woman does], [Let her]…do it heartily, as to the Lord, and
not unto men…” (Colossians 3:23 KJV).
An unloved woman was meant to be a GIFT to
her husband and an OPPORTUNITY for him to love like JESUS loves. “…In this world we are LIKE JESUS…” (1 John 4:17
NIV). “…As every man hath
received the gift (as a spiritual covering), even so minister
the
same one to another, as good
stewards of the manifold GRACE of God…” (1
Peter 4:10 KJV). “…It is required of
stewards that one be found trustworthy…” (1 Corinthians 4:2
NASB). “…God SO LOVED the
world, that he GAVE…” (John 3:16). “…Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that HE LOVED US...” (1
John 4:10 KJV). “We love, because HE FIRST LOVED US…” (1 John 4:19
ASV). God “…SPARED NOT his own Son, but delivered
him up FOR US
ALL…” (Romans 8:32 KJV). “…God SHOWED HIS GREAT LOVE FOR US by sending Christ to die for
us while we were still sinners…” (Romans 5:7-9 NLT). “…There is no greater love than to lay down one’s
life…” (John 15:13 NLT). “… Therefore, “…LOVE one another, even as I have loved you…” (John 13:34-35 KJV).
The woman as a GIFT from God was meant to
be joined with her husband and the two are to become witnesses and examples of
the covenant relationship between God and the church. “…Wives,
be subject to your own
husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of
the church, He
Himself being the Savior of the
body. But as the church is subject to
Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything…”
(Ephesians 5:23-24 NASB).
Every “good” and
“perfect” GIFT is from God. “…Every good GIFT and every perfect
GIFT is from above, and
cometh down from the Father of lights…” (James 1:17 KJV). “…The LORD SHALL GIVE that which is good…”
(Psalms 85:12 KJV). “…A man can receive
nothing, except it BE GIVEN him from heaven…” (John 3:27 KJV). ‘….only
the Lord can
give an
understanding wife…”
(Proverbs 19:14 NLT). “…Thanks be unto God for his unspeakable GIFT(S)…” (2
Corinthians 9:16 KJV). “…What do you have that God hasn’t given you? And
if everything you have is from God, why boast as though it were not a gift?...”
(1 Corinthians 4:7 NLT). “…It is the …Holy
Spirit who gives all these
gifts … deciding which
each one of us should have… (1
Corinthians 12:4-11 NLT). “…His
divine power hath given unto us ALL THINGS that pertain unto life and godliness…” (2
Peter 1:3 KJV).
Before the fall, before opinions about who
or what a woman should or should not do or be; God called HER into PURPOSE. “…It
is not good that the man should be alone; I will make …a helpmeet for him”…”
(Genesis 2:18 KJV).
The woman, Eve, was
God’s solution for loneliness for Adam, the man; the first husband, the first
father, the first HEAD, the first covering, and the first created.
“…It is
not good that the man should be alone; I will make …for him”…”
(Genesis 2:18 KJV).
What does it mean to be
ALONE? On the surface it means to be without the presence of another being, or
by oneself, or to be exclusive from others, or to be separated, or to be
isolated, or lonely, or without anyone in which to share your life with. God
says, “…It is not good that the man should be
alone…”
(Genesis 2:18 KJV).
Companionship and
relationship is SO
important to God; God NEVER
leaves his children, male or female, ALONE! “…God has said “Never will
I leave you; never will I
forsake you…” (Hebrews 13:5 NIV). “…I AM
WITH YOU ALWAYS, to the very end…"(Matthew
28:20 NIV). “…Behold, I AM WITH… [YOU] and …I WILL NOT LEAVE [YOU]…." (Genesis 28:15 ASV). “…The LORD thy
God …will not fail (leave) thee, nor forsake thee…” (Deuteronomy 31:6 KJV). “…Behold,
I am with… [you]
and will keep… [you] whithersoever [you]… goest…I will not leave [you]..." (Genesis 28:15 ASV).
The relationship with
God reflects one of a two-party community where sharing and mutual cooperation
is regularly encouraged. “…God is
faithful, by whom ye were called unto the fellowship
(mutuality, two-party community) …[with]…
his Son Jesus Christ our Lord…”
(1 Corinthians 1:9 KJV).
In the two-party
community everyone submits to whoever is recognized as the authority in the
relationship. “…the HEAD
of EVERY
man (believer) is Christ ...” (1
Corinthians 11:3 KJV). “…Christ is the
HEAD
of the church (believer)…” (Ephesians 5:23 KJV).
In the two-party community
between God and the believer; God is HOLY and expects mutual holiness from his
companion (believer). “...be… imitators
of [Jesus]…”
(Hebrews
12:14; Ephesians 5:1 ASV).
This mutual holiness is
for the benefit of sustaining, and maintaining the covenant relationship. “…be
holy, because I am holy…”
(1 Peter 1:16 KJV).
God demonstrates in
this two-party community, with the believer, that he respects their created,
God-given individuality, but encourages ongoing, submission, sacrificial, voluntary
cooperation for the benefit of the covenant relationship. “…Choose
LIFE…” (Deuteronomy 30:19
KJV). “…Jesus (the Living
WORD) said… I am the LIFE…..” (John 11:25 KJV).
In the covenant relationship
with God, the believer is ALWAYS connected and identified as part of a two-party
community based on the ONE SPIRIT attachment to the Holy Spirit. “…He that is joined unto the Lord is ONE SPIRIT…[with Jesus and the Father] …” (1 Corinthian 6:17 KJV).
The believer is joined to a two-party
community with the Lord through the Holy Spirit and NOW SHARES in God’s goals
and purposes instead of their OWN. The focus is NO LONGER on self, but what’s
best for the two-party community. “… Not My will, but Yours be done…"
(Luke 22:42-43 NIV). “…‘[I’ve]… given up everything to follow you…” (Mark 10:28-31 NLT).
In the two-party community, God ALWAYS
behaves with GRACE, MERCY, HONOR, and everlasting LOVE toward the believer, as
a witness to HIS absolute commitment to the covenant relationship. “…I
am the Lord, I change NOT…” (Malachi 3:6 KJV). “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever”
(Hebrews 13:8 NIV).
In the two-party community
with God, the believer is NOT EVER left ALONE to face life by themselves. They
have God to SHARE ideas, strengths, weaknesses, and regular days with. “…Two
are better than one because
they have a good return for their labor.
For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his
companion. …” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 NASB).
“…I AM WITH…
[YOU] and …I WILL NOT LEAVE [YOU] …." (Genesis 28:15 ASV).
In the two-party
community between God and the believer, personal freedom is NEVER compromised. “… I
have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing:
therefore…[you]… choose life…”
(Deuteronomy 30:19 KJV).
The believer REMAINS
free to CHOOSE the relationship with God or NOT - without judgment,
condemnation, or shame. “…There is now no condemnation for those who are
in Christ Jesus…” (Romans 8:1 KJV). “…There is no judgment against anyone who believes in
him. ….” (John 3:18 NLT). “…Mercy triumphs over judgement.” (James 2:13 NASB).
His or her level of
cooperation and commitment to the covenant relationship is by CHOICE only. “…Choose you
this day whom ye will serve….” (Joshua 24:15 KJV).
In spite of the
benefits and limitations of individualistic and collective societies; the
two-party community with God embodies the positive parts of both individualism
(autonomy of self or choice) and collectivism (dependence on a group or
cooperation).
The two-party community
with God was meant to reflect a mutual interdependence and yet respect the
believer’s individual rights to choose their OWN way. . “…He that is joined unto the Lord is ONE SPIRIT…” (1 Corinthian 6:17 KJV). “…Choose you this day whom ye will serve….”
(Joshua 24:15 KJV).
The believer often
selfishly EXPLOITS his or her individualism and does what he or she PLEASES and
CHOOSES without regard to God. “…The Lord said to Moses, “How long will
these people treat me with contempt (disrespect)?”
(Daniel 14:11 NIV). “…My people would not listen to me.
They kept doing whatever they wanted, following
the stubborn desires of their evil hearts (autonomy of
self or own choices)…”
(Jeremiah 7:24 NLT).
God NEVER changes his
position in the two-party community. “…I am the Lord, I change NOT…”
(Malachi 3:6 KJV). “Jesus Christ is the
same
yesterday and today and forever”
(Hebrews 13:8 NIV).
The believer, however, can
CHOOSE, at liberty, what position he or she wants to take; even if it creates
conflict or separation in the covenant relationship. “…The people replied, …We will continue to live as we
want to,
stubbornly following our own evil desires (autonomy of self or own choices)…”
(JEREMIAH 18:12 NLT).
In the two-party
community with God, believers are heavily impacted by the ideology or influence
of individualism (especially in the WEST). They usually have a hard time
cooperating, sacrificing, submitting, or humbling themselves to the will and
purposes of the covenant relationship. “…I want to do what is right, but I can’t. I want to do what is good, but I don’t….I don’t want to do what is
wrong, but I do it anyway. …” (Romans 7:14-25 NLT). “…We
will continue to
live as we want to, stubbornly following our own evil desires (autonomy of self
or own choices)…” (JEREMIAH 18:12 NLT).
“…Who will free me from this life that is
dominated by SIN? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord…”
(Romans 7:14-25 NLT).
In the two-party
community with God the believer DOES NOT lose his or her personal freedom to
make their OWN choices. “… I
have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing:
therefore [YOU]…choose
life…” (Deuteronomy 30:19 KJV).
The two-party community
is God’s idea and he says in his Word: “…Two are better than one …”
(Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 NASB).
The two-party community
with God provides standards for abundant living, such as: safety, a refuge, a
protector, stability, a Savior, a healthy environment, the riches of God’s
glory, and the indwelling Holy Spirit. . “…I
am come that THEY
MIGHT have life, and that THEY MIGHT have it more abundantly…” (John 10:10 KJV).
The two-party community
with God elevates the believer’s life and existence by filling them with his
benevolent kindnesses. “…How great is [God’s benevolent kindness],
which [He lays] up for them that fear [Him]… [or] for them that take refuge in
[Him]…” (Psalm 31:19-20 KJV). “….He is good [deeply caring]... “ALL”
the time (1 Chronicles 16:34, Ezra 3:11, and Psalm 107).
The two-party community
with God supports the believer and makes him or her functional, healthy,
balanced, and wholesome over time. “…May God himself, the God who makes
everything holy and whole, make you holy and whole, put you together—spirit, soul, and body—The One who called
you is completely dependable. If he
said it, he’ll do it!”
(1 Thessalonians 5:23-24 MSG). “…He was beaten so we could be WHOLE. He was whipped so we could be HEALED…” (Isaiah 53:5 NLT). “….Jesus Christ maketh thee WHOLE…” (Acts 9:34 KJV).
God enables them to
grow in the grace and knowledge of the Lord while making them stronger,
happier, and productive. “…That
great Shepherd of the sheep,
EQUIP you with
everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to
him, through Jesus Christ…”
(Hebrews 13:20-21 NIV).
The two-party community
with God enables the believer to experience overall well-being. “… [God] … grant[s]… you, according to the
riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man…” (Ephesians
3:16 KJV).
The two-party community
with God makes the believer want to share their well-being with others. They
will desire to offer equal access to God to others, by leading them to the
covenant relationship too. “…God will generously PROVIDE all you need. Then you will always have everything you need and plenty left over to “SHARE” WITH OTHERS…”
(2 Corinthians 9:8 NLT).
In the two-party
community God HIGHLY demonstrates how the well-being of BOTH parties is better than
the well-being of just one of the parties. “…Two
are better than one … if two
lie down together they keep warm, but how can
one be warm alone? …”
(Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 NASB).
Team effort promotes
the ideology that a mutual cooperation accomplishes a double-fold success when
there is more than one individual doing the task. “…God …works in you TO WILL and TO ACT in order to fulfill his good purpose…”
(Philippians 2:13 NIV). “….apart from Me (JESUS), you can do nothing…” (John 15:5 NIV). “…I can do
ALL THINGS through Christ which strengtheneth me…” (Philippians 4:13 KJV).
Individualism is needed
in a two-party community with God, especially when it activates the personal commitment
of a believer, which serves to prove his or her love for God. “…If
you love me, “you” will keep my
commandments …”
(John 14:15). "…My Father is glorified by this, that “YOU” bear
much fruit, and so PROVE to be My disciples” (John 15:8 NIV).
In the two-party
community, God’s SOLE focus is to LOVE the believer and make his or her life
better. “Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he
loved us
...” (1 John 4:10 KJV). “…I am come that THEY MIGHT have LIFE, and …have it
more abundantly…” (John 10:10 KJV). “…We love, because
he
first loved us…” (1 John 4:19 ASV).
God demonstrated his
unselfish LOVE for the believer by sending his Son. “…God
SO LOVED the world that HE GAVE HIS “ONLY”
BEGOTTEN SON…” (John 3:16
KJV). “…Herein is love...” (1 John 4:10 KJV). “…THIS IS LOVE …[HE]…SENT HIS SON ...” (1 John 4:10 NIV).
The two-party community
is NOT about selfishness at all, but about the UNSELISH love God has for
believers and future converts. “…THIS IS LOVE …[HE]…SENT HIS SON AS AN ATONING “SACRIFICE” FOR OUR SINS….” (1
John 4:10 NIV). “…Christ also died
for sins ONCE FOR ALL, THE
JUST FOR THE UNJUST…” (1 Peter 3:18 NASB). “…GOD SHOWED HIS GREAT [SACRIFICAL]…LOVE for us
by SENDING CHRIST TO DIE FOR US WHILE WE WERE STILL SINNERS…” (Romans 5:7-9 NLT).
Through the two-party
community God VOWS to NEVER leave them ALONE. “…God has said “NEVER will
I leave you
(physically); NEVER will I forsake you (emotionally)…”
(Hebrews 13:5 NIV).
God
decided it is NOT good for man to be
ALONE. Evidently, it is NOT good for woman to be alone since she became God’s
CHOICE of companionship. “…It is not good that
the man should be alone…”
(Genesis 2:18 KJV).
God says to his
companions (believers); “…I am with
you always, to the
very end of the age…"(Matthew
28:20 NIV).
In the beginning, “…..God created man in his own image…..male and female
created he them…” (Genesis 1:27 KJV). “….let
us make man in our image, after our likeness…”
(Genesis 1:26 KJV). The woman is NO LESS the image and likeness of God than the
man.
The unloved woman, who
is married, must remember - embodied in her role as HELPMEET and as an opposite
EQUAL to her husband - is the SPIRITUAL image and LIKENESS of God!! “…..God created man in his own image…..male and female
created he them…” (Genesis 1:27 KJV). “….after our likeness…” (Genesis 1:26 KJV).
Every woman, single or
married who is God’s bride or a husband’s bride is a LOADED GIFT with intrinsic
value and worth to God. He made her special. “…I
will make …” (Genesis 2:18 KJV). “…[The woman is]…fearfully and wonderfully made;
marvelous are [God]… works; and ….[her]… soul [should]…knoweth right well…”
(Psalms 139:14 KJV). “….Many
daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellent them all…a woman that FEARED the Lord. SHE “shall” be praised….”
(Proverbs 31:29-30 KJV).
She was given the role
as HELPMEET not only for her husband, but to be a WITNESS of how Christ loves
the Church.
She is also a
representative of the behaviors of HIS future BRIDE. “…the marriage of the Lamb is come, and his wife hath made
herself ready…” (Ephesians 19:7-9 KJV). “…I … saw the holy city … coming down from God
out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband...” (Revelation 21:2
KJV). “…I have espoused you to one husband, that I may present [you as] a chaste virgin
to Christ…”
(1 Corinthians 11:2 KJV). “…He that hath the
bride is the bridegroom...” (Ephesians 3:29 KJV). “…[as] the
bridegroom rejoiceth over the bride, [so] shall thy God rejoice over thee…”
(Isaiah 62:5 KJV). “...Now when I passed
by thee, and looked upon thee, behold, thy time [was] the time of love; and I
spread my skirt over thee, and covered thy nakedness: yea, I sware unto thee, and entered into a
covenant with thee, saith the Lord GOD, and thou
becamest mine…” (Ezekiesl 16:8 KJV).
She is called of God
first, then her husband second. When she puts God first, he will heal her
marriage and everything else that is broken. “…Seek ye FIRST the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you….”
(Matthew 6:33 KJV). “…IF MY PEOPLE, which are called by my name, shall humble
themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then I WILL HEAR FROM
HEAVEN AND WILL FORGIVE THEIR SIN, AND WILL HEAL THEIR LAND (destinies)….” (2
Chronicles 7:14 KJV). “…Seek the Kingdom of
God ABOVE ALL ELSE, and
live righteously, and he will give you
everything you need…”
(Matthew 6:33 NLT).
A single woman’s first husband is her
MAKER. “…For thy Maker [is] thine husband; the LORD of hosts [is] his name; and thy
Redeemer the Holy One of Israel; The God of the whole earth shall he be called…”
(Isaiah 54:5 KJV).
An unloved woman, who
is married, is a GIFT from God and a complement to the life of her husband.
“…God has given [HER]… different GIFTS
for doing certain things well…” (Romans 12:6 NLT). “…every [woman, therefore,]… hath [her]… proper GIFT of God...”
(2 Corinthians 7:7 KJV).
Hopefully, she will
LEARN what a GIFT she is from her MAKER, who “IS” her LOVING husband FIRST.
“We love, because HE FIRST LOVED US…” (1
John 4:19 ASV).
Remember, WOMAN OF GOD:
“…It is not good that the man should be
alone; I(GOD) will make …a helpmeet
for him (YOU)”…”
(Genesis 2:18 KJV).
“…The
LORD God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to
the man…” (Genesis 2:22 NASB). “…House and riches are the inheritance of
fathers: and a prudent wife (YOU) is from the Lord. …”
(Proverbs 19:14 KJV).
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