SOMEONE WAS "LOOKING" FOR HER...

UNREE DEEMD

  “... Why died I not from the womb? why did I not give up the ghost when I came out of the belly?” (Job 3:11 KJV).

 “...all the days of my appointed time will I wait, till my change come...” (Job 14:14 KJV).

 

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         UnRee Lynn Deemd stood on the corner with a bucket and cardboard sign begging for food and money. Some people had compassion, some just stared or leered, and some uttered insulting words.

          Some people gave her money and others threw their trash in her bucket. She knew people who begged by choice, but she had no choice at the moment.

          This is where UnRee’s life had bought her to and the only thing that kept her going was that someone told her “...the only person who could ever love you is Jesus...”

She had asked: “...Where is this Jesus?...”

          The lady said: “...He’s around here somewhere...”

          Unree asked, “...Is he looking for me?...”

          “...Probably....” The lady walked away. She was 15 when she’d heard about Jesus and now she was 27 years old; living on the street.

          The only reason she’d hadn’t killed herself was because she wanted to meet this Jesus. UnRee had been on the edge of suicide multiple times and she’d hated herself her whole life.

          Love was an illusion, but yet, deep inside, she wanted to experience the feeling of being loved. She’d lost hope over and over, but she’d hear the woman’s voice saying, “...Probably...” Jesus was probably looking for her and she wanted to be here waiting when he came for her.

          UnRee’s mother NEVER loved her. In fact, she hated her. UnRee remembered accidently dropping a bowl of cereal on the floor. Her mother beat her with an electric cord and locked her in the downstairs closet all night.

Somewhere along the way she began to see all mothers as BAD, especially hers. UnRee was depressed most of the time, she was self-loathing, and she did drugs, when she could afford them, to “feel” something.

          Her mother made her believe something was wrong with her and the way life had treated UnRee, maybe her mother was right.

          UnRee felt she was faulty from birth and her mother consistently said, “...I didn’t ask for you to come into my life. You are a BIG mistake...”

          In spite of all the negative treatment from her mother and others in her life, UnRee still sought after the illusive love from a man named Jesus.

          Was she really crazy? For 27 years UnRee had been rejected, constantly reminded she was a mistake, was told she was hated, and a disappointing failure of a human being.

          This is where she had ended up, on the street with a bucket and a cardboard sign, trying to survive. Survive for what? More of the same treatment?

UnRee hated her mother in return for what she’d done to her and continues to do. Her own mother was one of the people who drove by and threw trash in her bucket.

UnRee got pregnant at 13 and left her child on someone’s doorstep. The little boy was probably 14 years old now. She never looked back.

She was a broken person. She couldn’t care for him and she knew she couldn’t love him either. When she got pregnant her mother kicked her out and told her to never come back. She’d shouted, “...you are the child of a pedophile and so is that bastard in your belly. Now get out!...”

 

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