UNREE DEEMD: THE DEEMD'S FAMILY REUNION

                               

UNREE DEEMD: THE DEEMD'S FAMILY REUNION

“… But as it is written: “Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man the things which God hath prepared for those who love Him…” (1 Corinthians 2:9 KJV).
                        *

Barbara was speechless and she began to cry.  She clutched at her heart, and her breathing became rapid. She sat down in a nearby chair trembling and shaking. UnRee rang the nurse.

The nurse examined Barbara and told her to count to ten. She calmed down. Her shock at seeing UnRee caused a panic attack.

When Barbara was 71 years old she learned Reginald was a biological relative, who was left on their doorstep. The birth mother left a copy of the birth certificate too. Her name was UnRee Lynn Deemd.

Barbara and Richard always knew Reginald was a blood relative, but the mystery was “how” was he related and “who” was UnRee Lynn Deemd. None of the relatives had ever heard of her.

While UnRee was in the girl’s home for expectant mothers she learned a lot from the older girls. Brenda told her she could create her own adoption plan and choose a family member to adopt her child.

UnRee looked up the name Deemd and found Richard and Barbara Deemd and told the adoption counselor who she desired to adopt her baby.

UnRee knew she did not want to go into the foster care system, but after the baby was born that’s where she would be headed.

Brenda had been there for years and told her about the negative experiences. UnRee thought it sounded too much like living with her mom. She couldn’t do it.

What if she was placed with someone like her mom or worse. Or what if she ended up staying locked-up in the group home until she was 18? She couldn’t do it. UnRee wanted to be free from her Mother and situations like that. She took the baby and left.

When Brenda said one of the goals of being in the “system” was family reunification it sealed her decision to leave.

She choose the Deemd’s, whom she knew nothing about, as the people to adopt her baby. She wanted to give her baby a chance to have a “real” family and since they had the same last name, maybe they would be his relatives too.

That was UnRee’s adolescent logic at the time. The one nice thing her mother ever said was “...The Deemd’s were good people...” and that’s it. She could only hope that the “Deemd’s, whom she’d left her baby with were good people too!

UnRee asked Jesus to take care of her baby and she trusted him. UnRee looked over at Barbara who was sitting quietly in a chair next to her bed.

“...Are you feeling better?...” She nodded. “...I’m sorry if I shocked you. Reginald told me about the dream. Am I the girl in your dream, after all...”

“...Yes  you are and so much more...”

“...So much more?...”

“...Yes. I know this is a strange question, but who is your birth mother...” UnRee didn’t answer right away.

“...Sarah. Sarah Deemd...” Barbara told UnRee that her birth mother was her biological great-daughter. She said Sarah’s father was her son who died in a car accident, along with her mother, after Sarah was born.

UnRee felt angry, betrayed, and confused. “...Why did you abandon her?...” Barbara said, “...We didn’t...” and told her the story of the Robinsons.

UnRee began to cry and asked Barbara what her mother was like when she lived with them. Barbara told her about her mother and the first five years of her life.

UnRee had a hard time believing she was talking about the same person. She said Sarah was a happy child, but UnRee never saw her mother happy, EVER.

Barbara had so many questions, but UnRee could not answer any of them about the Robinsons. She didn’t know them and she’d never met them. Sarah never mentioned them either.

UnRee told her what she did know and told her about herself. Barbara was emotional distraught over what she told her.

Barbara finally said, “...If you are Sarah’s child, you are my great-granddaughter and Reginald is your son, which makes him my great-great grandson...” Barbara was 86 years old and her life had come full circle.

UnRee said, “...I am not very affectionate, but can we hold hands...” Barbara reached for her and hugged her so tight. They stayed that way for a long moment. Barbara told UnRee about her family. She had uncles, aunts, first, second, and third cousins. For the first time in her life she felt a sense of peace.

From nobody’s child to a child of a King; from having no family to having a lots of family. From being a white girl to becoming multiracial.

Labels, negativity, abuse, and injustice had impacted UnRee throughout her life.

She was limited in how she saw herself and by how others had treated her. Those perspectives had restricted her to a life on the streets. Everything she did had been affected by her experiences; her choices, her associations, her schooling, her joblessness, and where she lived.

Her upbringing was a major roadblock and she wondered what it would have been like to have a different lifestyle. Being a white girl had not privileged her and she’d learn people are people. Even if you put people into classifications, it didn’t change their humanity or human nature. When you are homeless and on the streets the only race that matters is the human race.

When you’re homeless racial divisions are irrelevant. Nobody can afford to be bias and prejudice, because its counter-productive for the human decency and unity that’s needed to help one another.

When you are homeless, you are a minority no matter what your ethnic/racial group is. As a homeless person, UnRee was not labeled by her race or ethnic background. She wasn’t a “white” girl, but a “homeless” girl.

She was invisible and was socially and economically discriminated against. This country had a past history of discrimination against minority groups and some of those group were DIVERSE.

Minority groups DON’T fit into the “RIGHT” category in order to benefit from certain jobs, the right colleges, social services, or fair treatment. They may claim white privilege to keep the country divided, but it is group privilege based on meeting their standards of privilege. If the truth be told, when you are in a minority group, it doesn’t matter what race you are.

There are standards of privilege that certain groups of whites are cut-off from and shut out of, too.

UnRee learned no matter how white people choose to define themselves they are mere human beings just like everybody else. There is nothing any different about them than any other race.

On the streets, they begged, stole, raped, abused, committed crimes,  and violated people just like other people. There are no illusions about white people when you are homeless. Their ideology about superiority is just that, an ideology.

Homelessness will reveal your true nature and except for the color of their skin, their human nature is THE SAME as any other human being upon earth.

UnRee had met some decent people on the streets and they were every race, creed, and color. The only thing superior, on the streets, was love, kindness, thoughtfulness, and  helping your fellow man or woman.

When you are homeless and on the streets you care nothing about a person’s race as much as you care about their character.

When someone approached UnRee she didn’t care what they looked like, she cared who their were on the inside. When you’re homeless your whole perspective changes.

What you look like, your racial profile,  or your ethnic background plays a very small role when you’re homeless like everybody else. UnRee, instantly, didn’t like anyone who had her mother’s characteristics and all these years she thought her mother was white.

UnRee wasn’t just hungry for food or a few dollars, though she appreciated both. She was also starved for a little love and kindness too! Decent character was rare, no matter what racial or ethnic group you were in.

White people were NOT the icons for decent character, which is clearly seen in the difference between Hilter, who was white, and Mother Teresa, who was white. In addition, decent character was unique to individuals of all races and nations.

The homeless community had a diverse group of people and MOST of them had decent character traits.

UnRee admired a lot of people she’d met on the streets and they were from all ethnic groups. You don’t have to be perfect to be a decent person, but you do need to be trustworthy, honest, and sincere.

UnRee considered people  decent character when they had traits or attributes that were consistent and authentic. Her mother seemed to be guided by some evil within her heart, but decent people were guided by compassion, kindness, throughtfulness, and other ethical values.

She saw people do the right thing even if cost them time and money. UnRee could spot a decent character a mile away. UnRee wanted to be a decent person, but she was concerned that she might have some of her mother’s character traits.

UnRee didn’t get too close to anyone. She didn’t want to hurt them by treating them the way her mother had treated her. How a person behaved told UnRee all she needed to know and if they were like Sarah she took off.

Barbara was a decent person and so was Reginald. She knew right away they were decent people. Barbara had a decent reputation at Bethesda Street Ministries too.

After meeting Barbara, her reputation was a reflection of her character. She was so kind and sincere. UnRee liked her right away.

Reginald was obviously influence by his GG. They both proved to be credible people and she trusted them. UnRee wondered if she was worthy to be a relative of these decent people.

For her, character was everything, but what if she didn’t have any decent traits. What if she was more like Sarah?

Eventually, Unree met Poppy. She and Barbara told Reginald about her and Sarah. UnRee left the rehab hospital and came to live with the Deemds.

UnRee had dreamed of having a home and a loving family, but it took a long while to adjust. She was so afraid they would send her packing and back to the streets.

The Deemd’s and Reginald did everything they could to help her resettle into normal life again. She got new ID’s and she now had a permanent address.

Even though she was living with her family UnRee had to do independent things on her own.

She needed to go back to school for her GED so she could get a job. She struggled with finding her way to the school by bus. She struggled with reading the books and concentration. She had problems understanding the instructor too!

Aside from negotiating school she was also affected by her day to day need to survive. She had become dependent upon herself for so long. She felt uncomfortable relying on her grandparents to do it for her and she would hide food and supplies in her room.

UnRee had been homeless for more than 14 years. She had to learn everything. GG taught her how to cook for herself, buy food from the grocery store, write out a schedule for each day, and how to be autonomous about certain things.

UnRee lived with her grandparents, but she had so much freedom she didn’t know what to do with it. Homelessness was so limiting.

The only skills she had were survival skills. She didn’t know how to do anything for herself it seemed. She had to learn to wash her own clothes and that it was okay to take a bath every single day.

When she finally got her GED, she decided to take some college courses. In the meantime, she got a part-time job. Barbara taught her how to budget and her grandfather taught her to drive.

When she had time, UnRee volunteered with Bethesda Street Ministries. UnRee was very helpful and gave the ministry first-hand insight on the life of the homeless.

With all the love and support she had, UnRee thrived and readjusted well to her new life. She begin to relate to people better and it allowed her to reconnect with her family.

Not only did she volunteer with the street ministry, but she became a part of the church community too. She was doing well in the work force and her college courses.

She developed a routine, that was wholesome and healthy. Her first independent decision was getting a new job that paid more money. Everybody celebrated. She had her own car that her grandfather gave her and she went to Reginald’s games when she could.

Adjusting to her new life was overwhelming at first, but she was finding her own rhythm. She couldn’t ever get used to the way Reginald and the Deemd’s looked out for her like they were a team. They served her with love as opposed to leaving her to fend for herself.

Sometimes they  would put her needs before their own and she would break into tears. They said that’s what love does. Nobody had ever loved her like that.

A couple of years later, GG turned 88 and Poppy turned 89. They celebrated their 60^th wedding anniversary and their nieces and nephews arranged a lavish party during the Family Reunion!

UnRee saw the family reunion was a celebration of love, fellowship, and connection. There were over 250 relatives at the gathering.

UnRee went from living on the streets, alone, to having this wonderful family. She was a part of them by blood and it felt so awesome.

Some of them drove GG crazy, and she made her comments, but it was obvious, she loved them all. This was just Poppy’s side of the family. One of his sister’s was 102 years old. It had been 13 siblings in Poppy’s family, but there were only 7 of them still alive.

GG said the Deemd’s had reunions every other year. GG thought it was a good way for UnRee to connect with her family. GG loved coming to the reunions and said she especially liked to see the new babies and newlyweds.

Jesus had found UnRee at last and he restored her in so many ways. She was so grateful for every single thing Jesus had done for her and continued to do.

Jesus had turned her emotional starvation for love into a feast. He turned her loneliness into a family village. She turned her abandoned baby into a son. He turned an empty life to one that was overflowing with blessings.

UnRee whispered as she watched her family: “...I was lost and now I’m found...” She didn’t know, had no ideal, and couldn’t have imagined all that God had waiting and stored up for her!“

…  as it is written: “Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man the things which God hath prepared for those who love Him…” (1 Corinthians 2:9 KJV). UnRee said in her heart: “...I promised you, Jesus, if you help me, I will LIVE GRATEFUL...