“….All things work
together for good to them that
love God, to them
who are the called according to his purpose…” (Hebrews 13:5 & ROMANS
8:28 KJV).
“…ye thought evil against
me; but God meant it unto good…” (Genesis 50:20 KJV).
“...overwhelming victory is ours in christ ...” (Romans 8:37 NLT).
*
Barbara had dreamed about this woman for years. She knew her face so
well. Her dreams about this woman were so detailed that when Reginald sent the
picture Barbara knew, right away, it was her.
Barbara would have
reduced it to simply a dream about a stranger or someone who didn’t exist “if”
it hadn’t become reoccurring. The face in the dream also reminded her of relatives
who’d passed on and she often thought she was simply missing them.
The girl in the dream
was “young,” “alone,” “sad,” and was “always
crying out to someone.” The only thing she could figure out was the girl seemed
lost. Barbara wondered if it was her “own” inner anxiety, as a result of the two
children she’d lost.
Nonetheless, the dream bothered her, and even
though she felt compelled to look for the girl, she didn’t think she’d ever
actually find her.
Barbara wondered if it
was the child that was stolen and taken away from her, looking for her. She
felt drawn to this dream girl for some reason and she was excited to finally
meet her.
A friend of hers says
when you dream about the same person over and over it means you will meet them
in person one day. Barbara didn’t believe her friend, but maybe there was some
truth to what she’s said after all.
Dreams had spiritual
meanings and messages too. She thought the girl may have some prophetic purpose
or calling upon her life or something like that.
The girl had so many
similar features of relatives and people she knew or had once known. Barbara thought she was, also, a figment of
her imagination. She even thought the girl might simply be a symbol for someone
or something else.
Thus, her dream girl
might not even be a girl at all. Maybe she was male, or an old lady, or a
middle-aged bachelor.
If she was honest,
Barbara often thought the girl was herself. She had been in pain ever since
she’d lost her children, first one then the other.
Losing your children is
the worst thing that can happen to any parent. Barbara didn’t like thinking
about it or talking about it. Most people are at a loss for words and avoided
contact, with them, for a while.
Barbara understood, if
you’ve never lost a child, you really didn’t have a clue what the parents went
through.
Barbara nor her husband
could simply move on or get over it like it never happened. It doesn’t work
like that and they have laughed and cried for
years, because the pain is always there. Yes, the pain lessens, like
with any death, but the child is regularly in the parent’s thoughts.
Barbara and her husband
had to seek counseling and they joined other parents who truly understood what
it was like to lose a child.
How a child dies also
plays an important part in dealing with the grief of the loss. Whatever the
reason, a child is lost, it torments the parents, nonetheless.
When a child
disappears, a parent never gives up hope they’ll return, but the uncertainty
creates anxiety and fear that ebbs and flows throughout the years.
Barbara remembered the
first few years and if she had too, she wouldn’t be able to describe the pain
she felt. She suffered and stressed though guilt, angry, depression, blame, and
loneliness.
Barbara even desired to
die herself and had thoughts of suicide. She often wished she could see them,
hold them, or kiss them one more time, upon earth.
Barbara and her husband
almost divorced, during that time, but the difficulty ended up making their
marriage stronger. They were much closer and Reginald made the process change
for the better.
Barbara and her husband
grieved differently, but they had moments they blamed each other, the pain was so
unbearable, and they grossly misunderstood each other, but Reginald’s appearance,
lessen the intensity of their grief.
For a moment, their whole life was impacted by
the losses of their children. Even though they were both Christians, the losses
rocked their faith like a tidal wave had come over them. They thought they
would drown.
For a long while, they
couldn’t sleep, or eat, or function normally and eventually it began to affect
their health. People didn’t know what to say and basically avoided them.
However, a man who lost
his son, through suicide, told them to go to God together and cry, whine,
complain, get mad, shout, blame, but trust and depend upon him to figure it
out.
They took his
suggestion. Instead of ranting and raging at and to each other they went to
God. Boy did they have some sessions with him, but it made them stop dumping on
each and dumped it on God instead.
It worked and things
actually got better. God helped them process through the pain and be supportive
to each other. They also sought counseling, which led to finding the additional
comfort they needed.
Then Reginald came into
their life like a BRIGHT LIGHT at the end of a very dark tunnel.
Reginald’s appearance
in their life was the most unexpected miracle ever! They knew it was nobody,
but God, who brought him into their lives.
Reginald was only a few
days old when he came to live with them. Initially they opted to foster
Reginald, but eventually Social Services helped them get legal custody.
Barbara and her husband
Richard were given a DNA test, which determined that they were the biological
relatives of baby Reginald.
The mother had relinguished
her parental rights and requested first rights for adoption or legal custody be
given to them, with the stipulation that Barbara and Richard are confirmed as
biological relatives.
It was a match. They
went from empty nesters to being responsible for Reginald’s upbringing. They
were parents again. They made decisions about his education, his medical care,
where he lived, what he would eat, and being raised in the Christian faith.
As Barbara and Richard
got to know Reginald they saw familiar traits from both of their children. He
was a prayer come true.
They showered him with
love, but endowed him with respect and manners through adequate discipline. He
was cathartic to their healing process.
The type of DNA test
they’d taken was new and complex, but it determined they were biological
relatives; mostly likely second or third generation. All they had, for testing,
was the baby, Barbara, and Richard, but that was all they needed.
The test showed the
three of them shared a significant amount of DNA which was all the information
they needed to prove Reginald was a Deemd.
Barbara became GG and
Richard was Poppy. She couldn’t believe it had been fifteen years ago since
Reginald came into their lives. Yet, it had been 27 years ago when they’d lost their son and 22 years ago when they’d
lost their granddaughter.
Reginald was a joy, but
it made them think about their lost granddaughter. She had been taken and
hidden from them. Their access to her was blocked and eventually she
disappeared from their lives altogether.
The people who took
their granddaughter, raised her and cut them completely out of her life. She
was only five years old and had no idea of her origins, the other side of her ethnicity,
or any other vital information.
It was so unfair. She
had a right to know her biological father’s family and roots too! It made
Barbara sick to her stomach thinking their granddaughter probably thought they’d
abandoned her and they hadn’t.
Deemd was an unusual,
but they’d changed their granddaughter’s name, which made it impossible to find
her. Her whereabouts were a mystery, but Reginald was a hint. However, the hint
was in the genes somewhere.
According to the
hospital and birth certificate the birth mother was white. The father who was
unknown, was white too. However, the mother, obviously, had a gene for brown
skin. The test proved they were biological relatives only, but it didn’t
confirm “how.”
Social Services knew
the name of the mother, whose last name was Deemd, but the first name was not
the name of their granddaughter.
However, the girl had
to be a biological relative in some way. Barbara hoped it was through their
granddaughter, unless it was another relative altogether.
Yet and still, they
were blessed to be a match with Reginald. After all these years, the DNA
databases had not discovered any of Barbara or Richard’s direct descendants as
the gene connection; only siblings, nephews, nieces, and cousins.
One thing was for sure,
the birth mother had a child of a different ethnicity, because somewhere, in
her family tree, she had melanin in her
genes. That melanin gene was a member of the Deemd family.
Barbara started
ministering to the homeless ever since she began having the dreams. It was
really challenging, in the beginning. She discovered the homeless community was
diverse, misunderstood, and marginalized by biases and prejudices.
If it hadn’t been for
the dream, Barbara would have never even thought about this kind of ministry
work. The Bethesda Street Ministry had trained her. She’d worked the soup
kitchens for years, and though it was important, it didn’t begin to touch the
problem of homelessness.
The problem was also
issues of poverty that needed God’s miracle to eradicate it. There were too
many heartbreaking stories and it was a ministry that required compassion,
respect, and thoughtfulness.
Barbara saw the
homeless everywhere now and she never failed to stop, speak, and/or listen.
She’d been to homeless encampments and saw the tents. They were all throughout
the city.
There were untold
reasons people had difficulty getting off the streets and one of them was
affordable housing. So many things forced people to remain homeless and some of
them had been unsheltered for years and years.
The homeless community
appreciated the soup kitchens and the few dollars people shared, but their
needs were multifaceted.
Barbara was involved
and was active in trying to be a part of the solution. It took a while for her
to realized she wasn’t ministering to the homeless to SAVE them, but she was
there to empowered them to trust God, so he could lead and guide them to SAVE
themselves.
Most of them just
needed her to come along beside them to assist.
Many were decent people
who were not necessarily looking for a “hand out,” but a helping hand or a hand up.
When she was lead to a
particular person, it usually required a heartfelt and sincere commitment. Barbara
never made promises she couldn’t keep.
Homeless people
depended upon her honest word and her integrity, especially if she’d promised
them access to food, clothing, shelter, and particular social services.
They were merely trying
to alleviate hunger, suffering, or the discomfort they felt each and every day,
on the streets.
She stopped judging
them, a long time ago. They were people, not lepers or the riff-raff of society
like some people treated them.
Barbara loved the
homeless ministry. Everybody had a different reality. She took the time to
listen, if they wanted to talk, to counsel them, if they wanted to listen, to
offer comfort if they were willing to receive it.
So many of them were
lost, just like the woman, who passed out and Reginald’s bought to the hospital.
Barbara walked slowly
down the hospital corridor. She felt nervous, but didn’t know why. “...this is the woman from her dreams. What next?...”
Barbara was God’s willing
servant to the poor and needy. She had become bold about ministering to this
community, but she felt nervous and anxiety about meeting this “dream girl.”
She stopped at room 312
and took a deep breath, before opening the door. Lying propped up on the bed
was a beautiful red-headed girl with curly locks. She had lovely hazel eyes and
a sweet dimpled smile. “...I’ve seen that
smile before...” Barbara thought.
The girl smiled and
said. “...Hi, you must be Reginald’s GG.
He told me you were coming. I’m UnRee Lynn Deemd...”
“...Yes, I’m Reginald’s GG, Barbara Lynn Deemd....”
A long silence moment
pursued.
“….All
things work together for
good to them that love God, to them who are the called
according to his purpose…” (ROMANS
8:28 KJV).
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