GEMINI: THE DESPERATELY WICKED AND DECEITFUL HEART CHAPTER 2

gemini: the desperately wicked and deceitful heart

“….from WITHIN, out of a person’s heart, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, wickedness, deceit, lustful DESIRES (choices, passions, appetites), envy, slander, pride, and foolishness. All these vile things come from WITHIN; they are what defile you…” (Mark 7:20-23 NLT).

“…from within, out of the heart of man, proceed evil thoughts… wickedness…All these evil things come from within, and defile a person.” (Mark 7:21-23 KJV). The heart “…is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked…” (Jeremiah 17:9 KJV).

 *

Gemini finally called Simon and agreed to meet him, in a couple of days, in a public place, down in Lexington Park. She hadn’t changed her mind and there was no longer any baby to discuss. What did he want? He said he just wanted to talk, but she didn’t trust Simon.

Gemini’s day was full. She had five clients and as excited as she was about her own transformation, she was not excited about those who still needed serious transformation.

Most people were not coming to counseling to transform, but they were coming for permission or to find a way to normalize their reasons for staying the same. In the past she’d given them what they wanted.

She was using non-Christian methods to counsel Christians, because she was under the impression that their methods were better than spiritual truths. Though psychology can offer valuable insights into humanity, it is totally remiss of the spiritual truths that can truly HEAL, DELIVER, and make one WHOLE again.

Now that her OWN heart was being healed, delivered and transformed by the indwelling Holy Spirit, she could see how “desperately wicked” she’d been. Psychology NEVER did that for her.

She could also see it in others too. The greatest TRICK the enemy had upon the church, today, is the fact that they, like the world, LOOKED on the appearance. Psychology was LIMITED to the flesh or its human effort and how it SEES, OBSERVES, UNDERSTANDS, and HELPS ITSELF.

All the devil had to do is make one of “his demon disciples” LOOK and ACT like a Christian. Other Christians see, observe, understand, and model themselves after the "demon disciples". Thus, the devil, through appearance alone, can control the church while deceiving them at the same time!

If “one” sinner could destroy much good, imagine what “one” demon disciple could do. Gemini thought she was BEING the idea Christian leader and wasn’t hurting anyone, but she DID and she WAS! She’d actually demonstrated how to be a Christian through the flesh or her human effort, without spiritual fruit or the indwelling spiritual power.

A few Sundays ago she’d spoken at a LARGE woman’s conference in Tennessee and several people gave their lives to Christ. In her 20+ years in ministry, she had NEVER, personally, been used, by God, in such a way and she knew why.

She was considered a Christian performer, who entertained, but had NO real supernatural power! People gathered together in a building called church, but that doesn’t mean they are having a “real” church experience.

Whoever was looking at her as a Christian leader thought she was the real thing and some of them didn’t know any different. She had contributed and influenced the new performance based, but spiritual powerless, breed of new “Christians.”

What had deceived her? It was her heart. The bible says the heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked. OMG! Gemini heart was NOW laden with guilt!

In 20+ years of ministry, Gemini put her total confidence, for being a “Christian” leader, into her own hands. She had helped people, influenced them, but it was ALL limited to the flesh. Spiritually, she was useless and worthless, and had not LEAD, at least not on purpose, people to the ONE and ONLY true healer!

When she’d gotten really sick, the doctors did all they could humanly do, to treat her and she wondered who would do the rest. God did. She watched an incision heal for weeks.

She watched the red and inflamed wound close up, a scab covered it for weeks, eventually the scab fell off and a small thin scar was left it is place. The doctors had treated her, but God had healed her.

No human being had healed her incision. People say time heals all wounds, but during "that" time what is healing the wound? God heals. 

She KNEW, through experience, he was the real healer. Yet, when she gave her “testimony” she boasted about what “she” did to get better, which she said healed her. She was ALWAYS stealing God’s glory.

Gemini had trusted in and depended upon her OWN righteousness and strength. She became a so-called Christian success story without Christ. Imagine that! She had flourished in “the church” without truly putting her HOPE in God.

At the same time, her heart was corrupt and in a fallen state. It was causing her to deceive herself and everyone else. While she did evil privately, she appeared to being doing righteous publically. And people called her a “good person.” Were they, without knowing it, calling evil good?

Gemini was a FRAUD and her heart was the major culprit. In her private hour of temptation, her heart would willingly run after whatever it lusted for and she indulged in its desperate wickedness.

Her heart was contrite now and it saddened her in so many ways. She was being directed to live a holy life and it was changing her behavior. She actually had no taste or desire for adultery any more.

Though God had forgiven her and she had truly decided to allow the Holy Spirit to transform her life, there was still Simon to deal with.

Gemini wanted to forget about Simon and had suggested they go on their separate ways. She also wanted to forget about the past, move forward with Brad and act like nothing ever happened. However, she didn’t feel right about it and she had to face them both, with the truth, no matter what the cost!

Gemini and Brad had a decent life together, she thought, but it had actually gotten better since her conversion. She and Brad had grown closer spiritually as well as intimately and she learned things were not as great, between them, as she thought it was. Her relationship with her children was changing too. She learned the many ways she’d hurt or disappointed them and God was healing the bond between them again. Susan Taylor even told her she was different and she could see the spiritual fruit now.

Gemini had already talked to Brad. She wanted to tell him everything, but he didn’t want to know any details. He did ask: “...Are you still doing this wrong, Gem...”

 “..No...”

“...then I don’t want to know. I love you. I forgive you. Let’s put in under the blood and move on...”

“...there are some things I still need to straighten out, Brad...”

“...and once your straighten them out?...”

“...I can freely move on...”

“...then do what you have to do or talk to whomever you’ve got to talk to and I don’t want to ever hear about..”

“...Brad don’t you want to know, what it is...”

“...No, Gem, I don’t. I’ve known something wasn’t right for the last ten years, but I also know you’ve changed lately. I have been expecting this conversation. Sometimes the devil is in the details and he uses the details to tear people’s lives apart...”

 “...if you knew something was wrong why didn’t you ever say anything...”

“...I did. How many times, over the last ten years, did I ask you was there anything wrong, but you always said no. I prayed about it and hoped, when you were ready, you would come to me to work it out...”

“...But Brad I haven’t really told you anything...”

“...you’ve told me enough, Gem and I trust that you are now ready to truly be MY wife...”

Brad was so gracious and merciful to her and she, in no way, deserved his kindness or his unconditional love. Again, God’s people were always loving. I don’t think I would have done for Brad what he’d done for me.

Gemini had learned two important differences between so-called Christians and "real" Christians: real Christians were loving and real Christian had the indwelling Holy Spirit. New, innocent  or young converts trust in the integrity and guidance of “Christian” leadership. It is the phony, so-called Christian who hurts the new or young converts and they are the ones who DESTROY the witness and credibility of the true Christian faith.

Gemini paid attention to all the Christians scandals, whether they were true or not. There was Billy James Hargis, Jim and Tammy Bakker,  Andy Bloomdale, Jimmy Swaggart, Robert Tilton, Eddie L. Long, and so on. What if she was next?

Almost everybody knew someone who didn’t go to church because of the hypocrites, or because someone, in the church, had “hurt” them, or because of its many scandals.

For years and years Gemini had gotten away with her adulterous ways and she thought she was being slick keeping it on the down-low.

She wasn’t being slick or getting away with anything. God was showing her GRACE and giving her an opportunity, through time, to get it straight with him. But her time had ran out and she felt like the old saying: a day late and a dollar short.

A Simon may be her "...day late and dollar short..."

A couple of days later Gemini drove to Lexington Park. She felt anxious, her stomach was churning, and she kept passing gas. Simon was fine and sexy. He was the perfect temptation for her adulterous ways and she wondered would she pass the test when she saw him again. All she wanted to do is talk, break up, and walk away. She didn’t want to return to her old ways.

She turned into the Longhorn Restaurant parking lot. She watched Simon swag his way inside. All the old temptations were bombarding her and speaking to her mind, but she prayed: “...please God, help me be strong...”

Gemini dressed very conservative, but casual. She didn’t want to give the wrong message. She was here on a mission. When Simon saw her he smiled his radiant smile, grabbed her as soon as she reached the table, and kissed her on the lips. Her knees buckled, but she managed to push him away and sit down.

They talked lightly for a few minutes, ordered their meals, and told a few jokes. Then Simon  asked her bluntly: “...Who the hell are you? And you better not lie to me....”

“...what difference does it make now, Simon. I think it’s time we go our separate ways. You asked me to say it to your face. That’s why I’m here...”

“...You lied to me Gemini Alexander Patterson and I think the least you can do is tell me the truth...”

“...like I said, what difference does it make if it’s over between us...”

“...it’s not over for me. I want to keep seeing you.  I don’t care if you’re married. I’m in love with you Gemmy. I am pissed that you lied, but I still love you...” Gemini signed silently. This was going to be harder than she thought. She’d never had this problem before and love was NEVER on the menu for her. Simon continued: “...you know I don’t like Christians because they’re nothing but a bunch of hypocrites. I told you how they dogged me and my mother out unlovingly and unjustly. They kicked us out of the church because she worked at a strip club as a waitress NOT a stripper. Plus, she knew a lot of them went to the club regularly too and she could bust they asses. They knew she wasn’t stripping. I don’t like them suckers! I hate them. I’ll never forgive them for what they did with they two-faced, judgmental asses. My mother drank herself to death and I blame them for it!...”

Gemini raised her hand to stop his rampage. Simon always got heated about what his childhood church did to his mother. She’d heard it before. She also heard the words “two-faced.” “....I know Simon and I’m sorry you experienced that, but what does that have to do with us calling it quits...”

He looked her dead in the eyes, “...I am NOT going to let “the church” hurt me again, Gemmy. I mean that...”

“...Are you threatening me, Simon. I am NOT the church that hurt you!...”

“...Yes you are and I am NOT threatening you, but I will promise you this. You are NOT going to HURT me. If you do I am going to SHARE that pain with you, so you’ll know what if FEELS like. So what’s it going to be Gemini?...”

She looked at him speechless and wondered what he meant by what he’d said. She wasn’t going to let him bully her. She promised Brad and she was going to keep her promises from now on. “...I’m sorry, Simon. I don’t want to hurt you. What I did was really, really wrong and I should not have involved you in my lies and deceit. Please forgive me...” Simon was silentfor a long five minutes, but smiled. He WAS a beautiful man. He lifted his hands in defeat.

“...Okay Gemmy, I will choose to forgive you. It won’t be easy, but I will do it for you, ONLY because I sincerely love you. I won’t say anything to Brad or your church.  But I need one more favor?...” Gemini frowned.

“...What it is, Simon...”

“...Remember  that Lladro porcelain piece you wanted?...” Gemini nodded. “... I bought it for you. Can I at least give you that as something to remember me by....” She hesitated, but nodded her consent. “...same time and the last time, next week then...”

“...Okay, I’ll see you next week...”

Gemini waved at Simon as she headed back home to the Gambrills suburb in Baltimore. She started thinking, immediately, that maybe she should cancel next week and make a clean cut of it. But she was so grateful that he’d agreed to break if off without any fan fair, the least she could do is accept his gift.

When Gemini walked back into her office, she had three clients scheduled and one of them was there waiting for her 20 minutes early for her appointment. She asked her if she wanted to start early and together they went into session.

The truth was still the truth: Without God, a person is NOT basically GOOD, but basically a SINFUL NATURE. Simon Toliver was NOT a Christian and his heart was STILL “...deceitful and desperately wicked...”