HOSETTA: THE SEPARATION CHAPTER 9

CHAPTER 9

HOSETTA: THE SEPARATION, PART 1

“...  And besides, there is a great chasm separating us. No one can cross over to you from here, and no one can cross over to us from there...” (Luke 16:26 NLT).

*

 It is a truth that you don’t know what the future holds, but you CAN know, the one, who holds the future. God says: “...I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope...” (Jeremiah 29:11 NLT).

One day you are riding along contently, within your current familiarity and routine and the next day or moment the unexpected happens. Hosetta wrote in her journal about Job: “... a messenger came to Job and said, “The oxen were plowing and the donkeys were grazing nearby, and the Sabeans attacked and made off with them...“The fire of God fell from the heavens and burned up the sheep and the servants ...“The Chaldeans formed three raiding parties and swept down on your camels and made off with them. ...“Your sons and daughters were feasting and drinking wine at the oldest brother’s house, when suddenly a mighty wind swept in from the desert and struck the four corners of the house. It collapsed on them and they are dead, and I am the only one who has escaped to tell you!” (Job 1:13-20 NIV).

She pondered over her separation from George. At this point, Hosetta had learned some new depths about God’s kind of love. After all, she was the “mouthpiece for his heart.” There was no way she could, authentically speak, for him, unless she shared in “his suffering” or walked in his shoes.

God is love and he is love ALL the time and never changes. The bible says: “…God is love…” (1 John 4:4-8 KJV). “…Great is his love toward [HIS PEOPLE]...” (Psalms 117:2 KJV). “... [God’s]…love never fails…” (1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 NIV). Hate or heartlessness is some of "mankind's" traits; not God's. God is LOVE "ALL" the time!  "HIS" people will LOVE one another!

The bible also says he NEVER changes. “... I am the Lord, I change NOT…” (Malachi 3:6 KJV).  ^“...[My Word to you].... is the same yesterday and today and forever” (Hebrews 13:8 NIV). “... [Nothing] …will be able to separate us from the love of God (WE ARE SECURE IN HIS LOVE), which is in Christ Jesus our Lord…” (Romans 8:31-39 NASB). “…[God’s] ... love .... is the perfect BOND of unity...” (Colossians 3:14 NASB).

Hosetta meditated some more as was her daily custom. The bible also said: “…In this world we are like Jesus (the word)…” (1 John 4:17 NIV). “...be… imitators of [Jesus, the Word]…” (Hebrews 12:14; Ephesians 5:1 ASV). “…God is love…” (1 John 4:4-8 KJV).  “…Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, It is not easily angered, It keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres, Love never fails…” (1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 NIV).

[Nothing]…will be able to separate us (his people) from the love of God …” (Romans 8:31-39 NASB).

She was miraculously empowered to love George and she sincerely DID love George. No matter what she did or did not receive from her husband, or what was rightfully hers to expect, or what she deserved as a covenant wife, George was the love of “HER” life. She did not have to be the love of HIS life. WOOHOO, that hurt!  It is what it is. Hosetta wrote another entry into her journal: “…Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that HE [first] LOVED US...” (1 John 4:10 KJV). “We love, because HE “FIRST” LOVED US…” (1 John 4:19 ASV). ^“….God SHOWED HIS GREAT LOVE FOR US by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners…” (Romans 5:7-9 NLT).  

Hosetta was the one, the Holy Spirit, had chosen to love George in this unfamiliar way. God's ways of loving was certainly not her ways. Who loves like this? God does, and she didn’t want to, yet the indwelling Holy Spirit empowered her by working, his powerful, spiritual fruit of love, “in” and “through” her heart, mind, and actions.

God had chosen Hosetta to LOVE like HIM during her marriage to George. Hosetta had read: "…You did not choose ...[God].... but [GOD, personally]... chose you….” (John 15:16 ASV).   

"... I (God, the Holy Spirit) chose ...[HOSETTA], and appointed ...[her]... that ...[she]... should go and bear fruit...” (John 15:16 ASV). 

Hosetta was learning, not only was God LOVE, but his people were chosen to be his vessels, upon earth, in order to be WITNESSES of HIS kind of LOVE. She realized what a HIGH and HONORABLE calling it was. Yet, it was NOT EASY, even with HIS HELP. Hosetta pondered upon the scripture and she wrote in her journal. “…God is love…” (1 John 4:4-8 KJV).  “... the fruit of the Spirit is love...” (Galatians 5:22-23). “…The Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives (the lives of his CHOSEN ones)…” (Galatians 5 NLT). “…GOD IS SPIRIT…” (John 4:24 KJV).  “…Ye shall know them by their fruits…” (Matthew 7:16 KJV).“...[his chosen ones]... will be ...[his]... witnesses...” (ACTS 1:8 NLT).

“God [the Holy Spirit] … worketh in [his people]…” (Philippians 2:13 KJV). “…the Father [the Holy Spirit] ...that dwelleth in… [his people], he doeth the works (displaying the goodness of HIS kind of love “in” and “through” them)…” (John 14:10 KJV).

 “…The [indwelling] … HOLY SPIRIT …does the work (of spiritual love) IN and THROUGH [his people or his willing vessels]… (1 Corinthians 12:4-11 NLT). “...The HOLY SPIRIT DISPLAYS God’s power (to love unconditionally) THROUGH each of us  (through each willing vessel)… (1 Corinthians 12:4-11 NLT).

God had chosen Hosetta for the assignment of loving George, unconditionally. "…I chose you…” (John 15:16 ASV). It was NO walk in the park.

She dated her entry.

What was a hinderance, sometimes, was that Hosetta tried to elicit emotional support from George for many years, but she never got those needs met. She knew she had a right to expect emotional support from her husband and normally that was a sufficient reason to leave a man, but Hosetta was on assignment.

It was simple, Hosetta loved George, the chronic adulterer and she was learning to love him God’s way. Even though, many of her personal needs went unmet, she kept hope alive by continually trying to mend their covenant relationship. It was of a truth that God was HER sole PROVIDER.

Hosetta’s optimism never really left her and she was always searching, hoping, seeking, dreaming, and praying for a miraculous healing of her sacred, covenant marriage.

The way they had become, as a couple, and with the chasm between them, even to her, it was pointless to hold out for any hope of reconciliation. Yet,  she repeated Jesus' words into her heart. “…Father …not My will, but Yours be done…" (Luke 22:42-43 NIV).

Hosetta always believed God wouldn’t make her stay with George any longer than she should, no matter how she or any else judged it. She heard his promises whisper to her: “…I will instruct thee  and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will  guide thee with mine eye…” (Psalms 32:8 KJV).. “The steps of a good man (woman) are ordered by the Lord...” (Psalms 37:23 KJV). “…he shall direct thy paths...” (Proverbs 3:5-6 KJV).

Hosetta’s emotions were ALL IN and she stayed deeply invested in her marriage. Her emotional well-being was severely at RISK in George’s hands, but she’d learned to put them  into God’s hands. She would have NEVER survived, otherwise, as long as she did. She was enabled to love George, because the indwelling Holy Spirit empowered her to do it.

The last few years, George was emotionally and spiritually divorced from her, already, and the END was closer than either of them knew.

Hosetta was sad about the inevitable, especially after almost 30 years of covenant marriage, but she knew, short of a miracle, it was coming. It didn’t have to come to this, but the communication stopped, there was no emotional connectedness, and George had a whole other life he was devoted to.

For Hosetta, George’s secret life was the roadblock and they couldn’t get in front of the conflicts it caused.

There were so many unkind words, disrespect, negative actions, silence, unspoken words, dishonorable behaviors, and violations. George, her companion was LOST to her. 

There were NO LONGER any apologies for any of it, nor were there any mutual efforts to make it right.

The chasm was SO GREAT the marriage had no choice, but to disappear in the wide GULF between them, eroded and dead.

There was a sea of emotional hurts and without a miracle of faith, within BOTH hearts, to help and heal, it would soon be over.

After almost 30 years, Hosetta was tired and weary of doing the right thing toward George. She knew what the word said, but she was still weary of doing good. “…Let us NOT become weary in doing good, for at the PROPER TIME WE WILL REAP A HARVEST if we do not give up” (Galatians 6:9 NIV).

Her marriage felt limited, stuck, and she felt helpless to do anything about it. She was supposed to be George’s helpmeet, but she felt she had failed and the dark force that surrounded George’s life “seemed” to have WON the fight.

Hosetta couldn’t fix it and God didn’t fix it in the way she imagined he would. All she could truly say was that she had obeyed God. She had done everything humanly possible, as his wife, and the problems, between them, were not resolved. But Hosetta trusted in God's plans for her life, no matter what it cost. Marriage was always and always will be God's idea and creation. “…God, not you (humans), made marriage. His [HOLY]…Spirit inhabits even the smallest details of marriage…” (Malachi 2:14-16 MSG). 

George used to tell her he wanted to be the man God called him to be. She could hear him say, “...Zest, I know I’ve been a jerk, but don’t give up on me...” She didn’t. She STAYED with him as his helpmeet for years. “…It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make …a helpmeet for him”…” (Genesis 2:18 KJV).

She stood by him and she fought with him, but sometimes all she could do is STAND on the sidelines rooting for him. “…only the Lord can give an understanding wife…” (Proverbs 19:14 NLT).

There were times all Hosetta could do was be a BYSTANDER. There was a part of the "addiction" battle that was not hers, but it belonged to George and God,  the Holy Spirit.

Hosetta had to relinquish the responsibility of George’s deliverance upon his “own” faith and dependency upon God and God’s power to HELP him overcome.

This was the CRUX of it ALL, the battle could ONLY be WON with God, the Holy Spirit’s, HELP. The bible was clear on some battles we have with the flesh. “….Apart from [Jesus], [you]… can do nothing…” (John 15:5 NIV).“…He helps me…” (Psalms 28:7 NLT). . “…If God is for us, who is against us? ... …” (Romans 8:31-39 NASB). “...No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper...” (Isaiah 54:17 KJV). “…The LORD will accomplish (take care of)…that which concerns [you]…” (John 14:31 NASB).

Without trusting and depending upon God, the Holy Spirit’s HELP, the potential outcome, of their marriage, would be disastrous and IT WAS.

The disastrous results came in the form of minor home life issues to major and monstrous verbal and emotional issues, within the SACRED, covenant relationship. It was what it was. George was George.

Hosetta watched and helped where she could, but surrendered to the things she could not change.

Her marriage to George had gotten completely out of control, like he was, in certain areas of his life. She felt helpless, and yet a small part of her kept looking for that “one” flicker of hope for any possible change.

One day, George and Hosetta were having one of their many disagreements about his clandestine behaviors. She was taking care of his 90+ year old mother, at the time, and she needed to be able to get a hold of him in case of emergency.

Hosetta got up early, most days, to care for her mother-in-law’s daily needs. She liked to be done with all the hard stuff by ten o’clock.

Her mother-in-law had dementia and Hosetta became her caregiver in 2007. She came to live with them at their home in Virginia. Hosetta loved Mother Jarrett and they grew close, during their time together.

She was under Hosetta’s care 24/7. She managed her prescriptions, took care of her basic needs such as bathing, dressing, and toileting. She spent time with her by offering her regular companionship.

She kept her room cleaned, her clothes washed and ironed, and occasionally she would do her nails for her.

She groomed her for outings such as doctor’s appointments, church service, or other special occasions. Hosetta spoke with her case workers about her caregiving needs to ensure she was providing for her properly. She wanted to give her mother-in-law quality care in order to maintain her health and well-being.

Hosetta learned how to move or transfer her mother-in-law from her bed to her chair, or to the bathroom, or to the shower, or to and from her doctor’s appointments, or anywhere else she needed to transport her.

Hosetta took care of Mother Jarrett until she couldn’t any more. Hosetta was not only taking care of her mother, but she was also preoccupied with preparing her dissertation for her doctorate, doing household chores, exercising, running errands, doing pro-bono counseling, and dealing with the state of her marriage.

Hosetta was tired, mentally, spiritually, and physically, but she stayed busy and she had no idea she was under stress.

Nonetheless, the stress was putting too many demands on her brain and she didn’t know it. After a heated argument with George, Hosetta went to exercise, but right in the middle of her work out, a piercing pain shot, like lightening, through her head.

She felt dazed, her equilibrium was off, and she began to upchuck over and over again. She was on the first floor, so she felt her way down the long hallway until she reached the stairs. She called up to George.

George took her to emergency where they did an MRI. Hosetta had had a brain bleed commonly known as an arteriovenous (AVM) malformation. She was SHOCKED when she got the news.

CHAPTER 9

HOSETTA: THE SEPARATION, PART 2

“...  And besides, there is a great chasm separating us. No one can cross over to you from here, and no one can cross over to us from there...” (Luke 16:26 NLT).

* 

Before long she was transported to Georgetown in Washington DC, on a Wednesday night, and was being scheduled for brain surgery that following Tuesday.

Everything was happening so fast, it was surreal. They told her an AVM wasn’t hereditary. People usually lived with them, without any issues, their whole life. Her AVM occurred, statistically, in one of a million cases.

The next day, the doctors tried to explain how AVM’s were just tangled veins and arteries. When they’re tangled it effects the blood flow and during surgery they were going to reroute her tangled veins and arteries and reconnect them to healthier ones.

Needless to say, her world was ROCKED and she was CONCERNED about what ALL this meant. She didn’t just have a cold, but a BRAIN bleed and they were going to operate on her BRAIN. OMG!!

Hosetta NEVER made it until Tuesday, she suffered a seizure and ended up having to have emergency brain surgery. The next time she woke up, she was in a medically induced coma where she stayed for approximately two weeks.

Her AVM was considered a traumatic brain injury and the doctors thought they needed to shut down most of her brain’s functions in order to give it time to heal.

Two weeks later, Hosetta returned to full consciousness, but she remained in ICU for another two weeks. She was in rehab part of November and December 2014.

After much begging and pleading they let her go home right before Christmas, her favorite holiday. She was extremely weak physically, mentally, and emotionally.

When she went home the doctors told her to sleep, as much as possible, and try to take naps, because rest was, extremely, restorative for the brain. It took her three months to LEARN to take naps.

The first six months were critical for her recovery. She was told when she lifted her head to do it slowly in order to avoid dizziness, headaches, imbalance, and feelings of her equilibrium being off. She learned fast to follow those instructions.

She was given exercise to do to strengthen the muscles from atrophy in her limbs. Other than her rehab exercises she couldn’t do any other strenuous activities.

She couldn’t lift anything that would make her strain, which meant she couldn’t care for Mother Jarrett like she used to do. That saddened her.

They had cut all her hair off in the area of surgery and she had a large bald spot at the back of her head. Her mother took her to the barber shop where they cut ALL the rest of her hair off and she cried, but it had to be done.

Hosetta also SAW a Neuro-psychology, for a while, who called her disabled and she got upset. She asked her “...who are you calling disabled..” She said, “...you Mrs. Jarrett...”

Hosetta had to face the fact, she would never be the same. The imbalance caused unsteadiness and many sprained body parts, there was a mild paralysis on the left side of her face, which made her drool embarrassingly, she had to learn to talk again to avoid slurring her words, she could no longer multi-task and was forced to learn to do “one” thing at a time, she had to constantly tell herself to always watch her steps so she wouldn’t fall on carpets or something on the floor, and she had challenges with her memory, but friends and family helped her even to this day.

Her neuro-psychologist helped her deal with the fact, she would have some cognitive impairments, big and small, for the rest of her life.

 Hosetta was limited to certain cognitive activities and as time went on, she, herself, noticed there were other daily, interactions, she would no longer be able to do.

Another BIG change was Hosetta’s personality. In her interactions with George she had learned, in order to keep the peace, she needed to keep her opinions to herself about his activities and their life together, but after the brain injury she became more outspoken, direct, and brutally honest.

Hosetta wasn’t one to cuss, especially, in front, of her mother, but after her coming out of the coma she started cussing like a sailor. When Hosetta was speaking at church, she could see her mother, sitting in the back, with the other ushers, on pins and needles. Hosetta laughed as she saw her mother's face in her mind's eye.

The energy she always had to fought physically, mentally, and emotionally was fierce and intense, but after the brain injury it had severely weakened.

When she came home to Scottsdale, to recover, at her mother’s house, Hosetta’s cognitive strengths had changed and there was nothing she could do about it.

George used this critical period, in her life, to forsake her, abandon her, and forgot about her. As usual she was the blame for his treatment of her, because she choose to come to Scottsdale and recover against his wishes.

She tried talking to him about it, but she no longer had the cognitive strength to go back and forth with him. Even though George “knew” what had happen to her; he acted as if he didn’t or that it didn’t matter.

He didn’t “seem” to recognize  how much she needed him, needed his kindness, needed his UNDERSTANDING, needed his GRACE, and needed this time to concentrate on "her" healing. For once, what they were going through, wasn't about George! She was in need of attention and support this time. And she simply couldn't overlook, the fact, that George, willfully, chose to meet NONE of her needs.

If George didn’t step in and take the responsibility of his role as a decent person and her husband, then the relationship would go SOUTH and IT DID.

All Hosetta had was the strength to follow George wherever his leadership took them. He said he was mad, because she choose to come home to recover instead of staying at home in Virginia. She thought she was helping him. She and Mother Jarrett, both, needed focused care and he couldn't care for them both by himself.  

For Hosetta, George had used, her coming home, to Scottsdale, to recover, as an EXCUSE to do what was IN his heart to do anyway! She tried to share with him what the brain bleed had done to her, she tried to explain what she was feeling, and she pleaded with him for his grace and mercy, but he was inflexible.

He negated her feelings, yet again, and insisted she was wrong by choosing to come to Scottsdale and recover. George mistreated her,  and she was to blame for it. After many of her pointless talks with George, Hosetta thought:  This is not about George, Hosetta. It is about you. This is NOT the time to be fighting over "where" you recover or "why." I have no energy to fight him on it, because I KNOW everything he is saying is a lie and an excuse. The bible said you can't serve TWO masters or someone you are supposed to be loyal to, because you will either STAY with one and DUMP the other. I am being DUMPED.  It is what it is and George was George.

What she SAW crystal clear was that George’s anger and blame was stronger than his love for her or his concern for her emotional well-being, especially after such an traumatic experience. Not only was George NOT acting like her husband, but he wasn't even acting like a decent person, a friend, or a brother-in-the-Lord.

Hosetta considered herself a strong woman. She had had George’s back, hung in there with him,  rallied for him, and loved him, but now something had happen to her. Hosetta was CERTAIN George would do the same for her. They both professed to believe in the "golden" rule. "...In everything, therefore, treat people the same way you want them to treat you, for this is the Law and the Prophets...” (Matthew 7:12 NASB). Yet, he turned his back on her. It was what it was and George was George.

All that cognitive energy she’d had to be “that” strong woman was depleted and now, although she didn’t know it, it was Hosetta’s turn to be refilled.  God was returning to her a "...tsunami of provision..." “...Give, and it WILL be given to you; good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over, SHALL men give Into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete, withal it shall be measured to you again...” (Luke 6:38 KJV).

What you GIVE in life, will determine the amount you get back. You won't, necessarily, get it back in the same placed you sowed it. Hosetta learned bosom meant your most “intimate” place of need. Hosetta wrote Luke 6:38 in her journal: “...SHALL men give Into your bosom....” (Luke 6:38 KJV).

After her brain bleed she needed love, she needed a hug, she needed kindness, she needed understanding, she needed help, she needed grace, and she needed patience. “… God will supply all [the needs of his people]…” (Philippians 4:19 NASB).

God supplied her needs. Family and friends poured lovingly and generously “into her bosom” and God allowed them to supply her most intimate needs!

It "IS" a truth that: “…Whatsoever a man (woman) soweth, that shall he also reap….” (Galatians 6:7 KJV). “...a man (woman) reaps what he (she) sows...” (Galatians 6:7 NIV). Hosetta reaped a harvest of love, support, kindness, grace, generosity, patience, hospitality, connectedness from family and friends and it is still blessing her heart today.

She had sowed, into her husband’s life, for over 30+ years and when she needed him most, he turned his back on her, but God DID NOT!!!

It wasn’t, so much,  that he wanted a divorce that bothered her. A divorce was going to hurt no matter what, but it was, his lack of love and compassion toward her. It was WHO he was, during this time in her life, that SPOKE the loudest. 

She thought she had been a faithful and loyal companion to him for over 30+ years and, in spite of it all, they had shared a life together. She couldn’t imagine, ANYTHING, from keeping George from being there for her, but his actions SAID it all.

Hosetta had come home to Scottsdale, simply, to recover from a traumatic brain injury and George turned it into an opportunity to SEPARATE, completely, from her. "...In everything, therefore, treat people the same way you want them to treat you...” (Matthew 7:12 NASB).

He begin to treat her as if they had NOT known each for over 40+ years or had not been married for over 30+ of those years. She had held out, so long, for that flicker of hope, which was that underneath it all, George was a decent man of God.

However people may judge her, they will NEVER know the pain she felt, when she cried in the corner of the room, longing for the grace, understanding, and compassion, of her companion of 30+ years. “...My equal, my companion, my friend. We used to take sweet counsel together, within God’s house...” (Psalms 55:13-14 KJV).

Hosetta would have sworn on the Holy Bible, that “her” George would have NEVER - no matter what they were going through -treated her like this.

With ALL the messiness and ALL the things they’d gone through, she STILL wanted to believe,  at the core of it all, George was a decent person and a righteous man of God. She was WRONG!

Now she couldn't help but wonder, if his ongoing relationship with sin had made him sinfully ROTTEN to the core. What she KNEW now, that without God, people were NOT basically good, but they were basically a SINFUL nature. It is what it is and George was George.

George might as well had left her on the corner with her brain injury and a cardboard sign by the way he treated her during their George-inflicted SEPARATION.

Hosetta lost ALL the respect she had left for him. It proved he was, indeed, an ethical man or what the world called a “good” man, but he wasn’t a righteous one. The HEART and CHARACTER matters!

George had LEARNED TO DO ethical things, but had not BECOME a righteous man. When George was tested on his true “righteousness,” with her,  HE WALKED AWAY.  

Hosetta wrote in her journal: “…There is not a just man upon earth, that doeth good, and sinneth not…” (Ecclesiastes 7:20 KJV). “...there is “NONE” good but one, that is, God” (Nahum 1:7 & Mark 10:18 KJV). “…[god, the holy spirit]... is GOOD…” (Psalm 107:1 KJV). “…There is none righteous, no, not one:” (Romans 3:10 KJV). “…ALL HAVE SINNED and fallen short of the glory of God…” (Romans 3:23).

GOOD, without the indwelling Holy Spirit, comes from a world TOTALLY UNDER the POWER (influence) of the EVIL ONE and his LIES. “…he (the evil one) is a liar and the father of lies…” (John 8:44 NASB). “...there is “NONE” good but one, that is, God” (Nahum 1:7 & Mark 10:18 KJV). “… [ALL have become]…..unclean and [their so-called] righteousnesses (efforts to do good is) as filthy rags….” (Isaiah 64:6 KJV).  

“…Apart from [the Holy Spirit]… [mankind cannot]... do nothing [they cannot be GOOD]…” (John 15:5 NIV).

“…All he DOES (God, the Holy Spirit DOES) is just and GOOD...” (PSALMS 111:7 NLT).  One of “…The fruit of the Spirit is ... GOODness …” (Galatians 5:22-23 KJV). "....The Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives …” (Galatians 5 NLT).

George was taught  to be “ETHICAL” and “MORAL,” and so-called society “GOOD,” but NOT righteous.

It is easy to THINK and BELIEVE an “ETHICAL” or “MORAL”  or “GOOD” man or woman, like George, would surely get into heaven; right?

Hosetta continue to write in her journal: The RICH MAN in the bible teaches a different truth. He was a “GOOD,”  “ETHICAL,” and “MORALLY” upright man. He was even religiously devoted and behaved according to God’s commandment. He knew ALL the ten commandments, but ONE DAY he asked Jesus what he needed to do to be SAVED. “...As Jesus started on his way, a [rich]...man ran up to him and fell on his knees before him. “Good teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?” ... (Matthew 10:17-22 NIV).

Jesus complimented the rich man on his knowledge of the commandments. “...You know the commandments: ‘You shall not murder, you shall not commit adultery, you shall not steal, you shall not give false testimony, you shall not defraud, honor your father and mother...” (Matthew 10:17-22 NIV).

The rich man BOASTED on his “GOOD,” “ETHICAL,” and “MORAL”  practice in keeping God’s commands.  “... “Teacher,” he declared, “all these I have kept since I was a boy...” (Matthew 10:17-22 NIV).

“…The flesh (ethical and moral behavior) profiteth nothing…” (John 6:63 KJV). “…Human effort (ethical and moral behavior) accomplishes nothing….” (John 6:63 NLT). “…If I bestow all my goods to feed the poor (ethical or moral behavior), and if I give my body to be burned (ethical or moral behavior), but have not love (God is LOVE and SPIRIT), IT PROFITETH ME NOTHING…” (1 Corinthians 13:2-3 ASV).

“… [ALL have become]…..unclean and [their so-called] righteousnesses (efforts to do good is without God is) as filthy rags….” (Isaiah 64:6 KJV).  

The rich man sounded like a “GOOD” and “ETHICAL” man. Not many  people could boast of keeping God’s commandment since they were a young child, but he did. Yet, in spite of his “GOOD,” “ETHICAL,” and “MORAL” behavior Jesus said he LACKED something. “...Jesus looked at him and loved him. “One thing you lack,” he said. “Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”  At this the [rich]...man’s face fell. He went away sad, because he had great wealth...” (Matthew 10:17-22 NIV).

“...No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other; you will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and be enslaved to money...[or sin]...” (Matthew 6:24 NLT).

Like the rich man, George was an ethical man, but he HAD his private masters and  TREASURES and that’s where his HEART was.

“...Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also....” (Matthew 6:21 KJV). No matter how much you want someone's love or want them to do right by you; it is their choice. LET IT GO. You can NOT compete with a person's HUMAN WILL. It is what it is! Leah always told her so and she was right.

My husband and I are SEPARATED . There is a CHASM between us physically and spiritually now. “...  And besides, there is a great chasm separating us. No one can cross over to you from here, and no one can cross over to us from there...” (Luke 16:26 NLT).

 “…[their] ...INIQUITIES … separated … [them from] ... God (the Holy Spirit)…” (Isaiah 59:2 KJV). “…It’s YOUR SINS that … [will] ...cut you off from God…” (Isaiah 59:2 NLT). George's ongoing practice of SIN had SEPARTED them. It is what it is!

Hosetta dated her entry and closed her journal for the day.

      She thought: SEPARATED BY SIN: THE CHASM MAKER.

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