CHAPTER
5
HOSETTA: REMAINING FAITHFUL TO GOD
AND THE ADULTERER PART 1
“…I
am the Lord, I change NOT…” (Malachi 3:6 KJV). “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever”
(Hebrews 13:8 NIV). “…he remains faithful…” (2
Timothy 2:13 NLT).
*
When Hosetta married George, it was the
mid-80s and they had a religious
ceremony. She was excited that she was marrying a man from the Christian faith
like herself.
For her, it meant, they would denounce any
other religion, accept Christianity. And the relationship, between George and
Hosetta, would, eventually, grow to reflect God’s relationship with his people.
Their marriage DID grow to reflect God’s
relationship with his people, but NOT in the way Hosetta had imagined.
In God’s relationship with his people he
is ALWAYS faithful, but his people can, willingly, CHOOSE to be unfaithful and
wayward.
She learned, along the way, that God’s
people could “choose” to be unfaithful to him in the same way George “chose” to
be unfaithful to her.
George became a wayward husband and his
addiction made him a chronic adulterer.
Adultery is not simply about someone cheating.
Adultery is about a married person, who is “one flesh” with another, having
sexual intercourse with a third party other than their spouse, which “defiles” the SACRED
marital relationship.
To defile the SACRED marriage was to make
it UNCLEAN. Adultery dishonored the SACRED marriage and actually desecrated it.
Adultery isn’t just an act of disrespect
against the other spouse, but it is also an act of disrespect toward God and
his holy instructions for marriage.
The defilement of adultery is the way the
marriage is MADE impure, which is usually through sexual impurity.
Sexual sin defiles the person committing
the act. The person committing the act of adultery becomes unclean and defiles the
SACRED marriage, the spouse, and the children.
The bible says not to even “keep” company
with a brother or sister in-the-Lord who is an adulterer (1 Corinthians 5:11).
The bible also says that “out of the
heart” come “evil thoughts,” such as
adulteries, and this kind of act defiles a man or woman (Matthew 15:18-20).
In the Old Testament there were ways
people could CLEAN themselves from acts of defilement.
Back in the day, acts of defilement would
separate a person from God’s SACRED people, and his SACRED dwelling place (the
temple).
If a person had defiled themselves and
still went into God’s SACRED dwelling, their uncleanness would desecrate the
temple.
Prayers or any other homage to God, the Holy Spirit would not be accepted,
from a defiled person, without, first, being cleanse from their defilement.
In the New Testament if a person is
cleanse, by the blood, but commits acts of defilement, they have willingly
chosen to desecrate the temple of the Holy Spirit (the body).
The ongoing practice of adultery or sexual
sin defiles God’s temple and defiles one’s SACRED marriage.
This defilement is a spiritual (God), physical
(spouse), and heart involved (self) betrayal that reveals a person’s broken covenant
relationship with God, the Holy Spirit,
and their broken covenant relationship with their OWN spouse.
Adultery defiles, but the ongoing practice
of adultery is a witness to what an
individual treasures more than God and most likely, more than their
spouse.
When Hosetta realized George had all the
tools, he needed to overcome his addiction - doctors, psychiatrists,
counselors, SAA groups, her, God, the
indwelling Holy Spirit, and his POWERFUL word – she knew he treasured his
sexual addiction more. And his heart became devoted to what he treasured
(Matthew 6:21).
George didn’t have to choose to walk in
the adultery that continually defiled him and their life together, but HE
DID. God loved George and he
relentlessly pursued his heart, but George kept doing what HE WANTED to do.
Hosetta knew the pursuit well, because she
was the vessel God used to go after George’s heart. The bible talks about God's people who DO NOT listen or follow his instructions. “…[God’s]...
people ...[will]... not listen to ...[HIM... They ...[keep]... doing whatever they [want]…” (Jeremiah 7:24 NLT). “… The people replied, “Don’t
waste your breath. We
will continue
to live as we want to,
stubbornly following our
own evil desires…”
(JEREMIAH 18:12 NLT). “…Thus saith the Lord; ‘Cursed be the MAN (or woman) ... whose HEART departeth from the Lord…”
(Jeremiah 17:5 KJV).
George broke his
covenant with God, first and foremost. “…[MY PEOPLE]... broke [THEIR]
... covenant [WITH ME],
though I [love]...them
as a..[righteous]... husband loves his wife,” says the Lord…”
(Jeremiah 31:32 NASB).
George professed to be redeemed their
WHOLE marriage. Thus, she thought he had the
indwelling Holy Spirit’s power, within him, the WHOLE marriage, to enable
him to CHOOSE righteous living by FAITH (trusting in and depending upon God).
George had been freed from sin just like ALL of God's children are "IN" Christ. If he confessed
his sins, received God forgiveness, allowed God to cleanse him, and empower him
to turn (repent) from his adulteries; God promised to help him do it. The bible tells God's people how HE WILL help them. “…He helps me…”
(Psalms 28:7 NLT). “…The Lord who made
you and helps you says: Do not be afraid …my servant …my chosen one…” (Isaiah
44:2 NLT). “… The Holy Spirit helps
us in our weakness…” (Romans
8:26 NLT). “…You are my helper and my
savior…” (Psalms 40:17 NLT).
George focused on what God could "DO" FOR
YOU and Hosetta focused on what God could do WITHIN YOU.
George was an ethical man but he had one
foot in the marriage and the other foot in the world of sexual addiction. She
couldn’t always see, clearly, the impact his defilement had on their lives.
In hindsight, what she learned about
ethical behavior, is that it makes you FOCUS on what a person “does” OVER “who”
they are within.
When George was at home with his family he DID ethical things while being unethical. It made her question whether there was a difference between ethical behavior and righteous character. How could George DO the right
thing and not BE the right thing or person? “…Ye shall know
[God’s people]… by their fruits…” (Matthew 7:16 KJV).
While she was simply observing some of
George’s unethical behaviors as they impacted their lives together; George was
actually, in the world of sexual impurity, engaging, participating, practicing, and wallowing in unethical behavior.
George attempted to serve (attend to) God,
her, Oscar, and his addiction. The bible distinctly says “NO MAN” can serve two
masters, (something/one that demands/requires your utmost loyalty), but
eventually he (she) will HATE one and LOVE the other or they will be DEVOTED to
one and DEPISE the other.
There was NO WAY George could go on and on
trying to attend to God, his marriage, his family and his addiction without
eventually having to choose one over the other.
He, especially, couldn’t continue to be in
a covenant relationship with God, the
Holy Spirit while being and choosing to remain ENSLAVED to sexual impurity.
He, also, couldn’t continue to be in a
covenant marriage with Hosetta, either, while choosing to remain ENSLAVED to
his “other” life.
Eventually
George would have to CHOOSE and one day HE DID. “...You
cannot serve God and be enslaved... [to sin too]...” (Matthew 6:24). “…Choose
you this day whom ye will serve….” (Joshua 24:15
KJV).
Ethical behavior doesn’t produce a
righteous heart of devotion toward God or toward those you love. The bible say
people pay God lip-service, but “their hearts” are far from him. “…This people honoureth me with their lips,
but their heart is far from me”
(Mark 7:6 KJV).
Ethical
behavior accomplishes nothing, but FALSE CHARM. “…The flesh (ethical behavior)
profiteth nothing…” (John 6:63 KJV). “…Human effort (ethical behavior)
accomplishes nothing….” (John 6:63 NLT).
George
was GOOD at offering her FALSE CHARM (behaviors, which would make her think
he’s being emotionally engaging or doing right). George
gave her attention, praise, and did kind gestures. In these moments, he would throw
her a bone or two through a compliment, or he would bring her gifts. George was good at drawing and pulling her emotions
toward him.
Once
George would pull her emotions toward him, he would STOP his FALSE CHARM.
Hosetta,
would then, find herself chasing after George’s heart, again but, as usual, he was keeping, his heart, purposely, from her.
George
SAID and DID many ethical and charming things to keep her heart drawn to him,
while his heart was closed off to her. George was good at sucking her in.
He
would do something she liked to charm her and get her interested in him again. It was a hurtful cycle. He knew her deep love for him. George
would make promises he had no intentions on keeping. He would simply say things
he thought she wanted to hear. “...thank
you for sticking with me...” “...I’m cutting down on my activities. I’m not as
bad as I was...” “.... this song by Oleta Adams says what’s on my heart...”
“...I love you just the way you are...” “...I know I’ve been a jerk, Zest, but
don’t give up on me...” “...I’m working on changing...” “...I am going to be a better
husband, Zest...”
Hosetta
would get sucked back in over and over again and it would make her IGNORE
everything he’d done to break her heart and abuse her emotions.
She
loved him and she would allow herself to be fooled by his FALSE CHARM knowing
it was a bunch of BULL. It felt GOOD, for the moment, and his FALSE CHARM was
sometimes better than nothing at all.
When
she’d fall for his false charm, she’d only ended up hurt again, when he would
abruptly stopped. She invested so much in her relationship with George, but
he was often careless with her heart and emotions. Had the whole relationship been a waste?
Hosetta
yo-yo-ed between submitting to his FALSE CHARM and being hurt by them. Hosetta
found herself trying to do things to please him, just to be told she was still falling short as a woman and as a wife. Always 99 1/2.
George,
however, knew what she really wanted; sincere love and affection. He would use
her desire for “sincere love and affection” as an opportunity to control her
or manipulate her.
Wanting
sincere love and affection, from George was dangerous to her heart and her
emotional health. Hosetta
didn’t want to be dependent on him for NOTHING, even things, such as love
and affection, which she had a right to expect as a wife.
Hosetta
didn’t want to be helpless, needy, or vulnerable to George in anyway. If George
SAW she wanted his “love and affection” it would come with a price tag.
In the beginning and the midst of their marriage, Hosetta didn’t want to lose her husband. She had
often, over the course of their marriage, tried to win his approval.
It
happened slowly, but it began to dawn on Hosetta, George wasn't really emotionally attached to her or
anyone else’s. He didn’t care how she felt and he certainly didn’t care how his
behavior was damaging her life or Oscar’s.
Hosetta
married George in order to spend her life with him and deepen their bond. But
his heart slowly drifted in another direction. His attempt to cleave to her was
lost to the master that his heart truly followed.
The treasures
that sexual impurity offered George held the riches he desired and longed for
with ALL his heart.
In
hindsight, Hosetta knew she could be the best wife in the world. She could blow
his mind sexually. She could intrigue him with all her accolades, bells and
whistles. She could have physical beauty that stopped traffic, but she could
NOT compete with the power of George’s human will. God, the Holy Spirit, respects the human will and mankind's choices. “… They kept
doing whatever they
wanted, following the stubborn desires of their evil
hearts...”
(Jeremiah 7:24 NLT).
“...
They went backward instead of forward...” (Jeremiah 7:24 NLT). “...the people replied, “Don’t
waste your breath. We will continue
to live as we want
to, stubbornly following our own evil desires”
(JEREMIAH 18:12 NLT).
At the
end of the day her faithfulness to George was a CHOICE and his unfaithfulness
to her was also a CHOICE.
George’s
relationship to his sexual addiction held an attraction to him that made him
serve it wholeheartedly. She could and would NEVER be able to compete with his human will.
It was
the object of his devotion and it seemed to constantly fill his heart, inform
his thoughts, and demand his behavior.
His
addiction lead him away from their marriage and lead him to forsake the
sacredness it once held for them both.
George
took on the sinful characteristics of a chronic adultery. In private, behind
closed doors, she was experiencing him as dishonest, narcissistic, intimately
shallow, emotionally inept and unsafe, unapologetic, entitled, projecting blame,
living in denial, and she also thought he acted ethically justified (if he DID
right; he WAS right, but he didn’t have to BE right).
Hosetta
was often concerned that if George continued to worship at the altar of
adultery and didn’t repent, the marriage would eventually be destroyed. “… ONE
sinner destroy[ed]… MUCH GOOD…”
(Ecclesiastes 9:18 NASB). It was on its way.
Why had God given her a husband like
George? The Holy Spirit told her why. “...How
can you know ME unless you share in my suffering?...” Hosetta wanted to
“know” God, not just “know about” him.
That had been her prayer for years. “I want to know Christ--yes, to know the
power of his resurrection and participation
in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death…”(Philippians
3:10 NIV).
Her prayer to “know” God was a costly
request. The old saints always said: “...be
careful what you ask for...” “…The
faithful followers of the Lord … keep their promises even when it hurts…”
(Psalm 15:4 NLT).
Hosetta learned about God through the
things she suffered through with George Jarrett. Jesus did too. “…Though he were a
Son, yet learned he obedience by the
things he suffered…” (Hebrews 5:8 KJV). “….Christ pleased not himself…” (Romans 15:3
KJV). “…For I
have come down from
heaven ...
TO DO ...THE
WILL of him who sent me…”
(John 6:38 NIV). “….the [reason the]...
Son of Man came ...[was]...TO
GIVE HIS LIFE as a ransom for many..." (Matthew 20:28).
Her marriage to George centered around an
unending and relentless love for a WAYWARD husband, empowered by the indwelling Holy Spirit. It was HARD, but Hosetta was learning, through
her suffering, that God had an unending and relentless love for each of HIS
children.
“For God
so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son,,,” (John 3:16).
“Herein is
love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent His Son to be
the propitiation (substitute, intervention) for our sins.” (1
John 4:10 KJV).
“We love,
because HE FIRST
LOVED US…” (1 John 4:19 ASV).
God “…SPARED NOT his own Son, but delivered
him up FOR US
ALL…” (Romans 8:32 KJV). “…God SHOWED HIS GREAT LOVE FOR US by sending Christ to die for
us while we were still sinners…” (Romans 5:7-9 NLT).
“…There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life…” (John
15:13 NLT).
Hosetta’s heart was
unhappy over George’s constant betrayal and she felt every bit of that
betrayal. But God’s people betrayed him too, all the time, especially those
who have turned their backs on him. “…thou hast gone a
whoring after the heathen, and …art polluted
with their idols…” (Ezekiel 23:30). “…They
ABANDONED the Lord… they turned their backs on him….”
(2 Chronicles 29:6 NLT).
“… [YOU]… FORGOT all about ME,”
says the Lord…” “…Does
a young woman forget her jewelry, or a bride her wedding dress? Yet for years on end my people have FORGOTten ME…”
(Jeremiah 2:32 NLT).
Hosetta’s calling was to be a “...mouthpiece for God’s heart...” by
becoming an, experiential, WITNESS to God’s FAITHFUL love for a WAYWARD people. “...you
will be my witnesses, telling people about me
everywhere (through speech, lifestyle, and CONDUCT)...” (ACTS 1:8 NLT).
“…...Who will separate us from the love of Christ? …”(Romans
8:31-39 NASB).
“…Will tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or
nakedness, or peril, or sword …”(Romans
8:31-39 NASB).
“...[NO] …”(Romans
8:31-39 NASB).
“…[Nothing]…will be able to separate us from the love of God,
which is in Christ Jesus our Lord…”(Romans
8:31-39 NASB).
BUT, “…My
people would not listen to me. They kept doing whatever they
wanted, following the stubborn desires
of their evil hearts. They went backward instead of forward” (Jeremiah 7:24 NLT). “…The people replied, “Don’t
waste your breath. We will continue
to live as we want to, stubbornly following our own evil desires”
(JEREMIAH 18:12 NLT).
“…Because sentence
against an evil work is not executed speedily (the
adulterer “seem” to be flourishing, but are not. They are, however, being given
an opportunity to get right with God)
…[nonetheless]...the HEART of the sons
of men (the heart of the adulterer) is fully set in them to do evil [instead of
repenting]….” (Ecclesiastes 8:11 KJV).
HOSETTA: REMAINING FAITHFUL TO GOD
AND THE ADULTERER, PART 2
“…I
am the Lord, I change NOT…” (Malachi 3:6 KJV). “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever”
(Hebrews 13:8 NIV). “…he remains faithful…” (2
Timothy 2:13 NLT).
*
Hosetta didn’t like that her marriage was
meant to be a metaphor for God, the Holy
Spirit and the covenant relationship he has with his WAYWARD people.
Her life was the vivid unfolding of GOD’s
MESSAGE and she would be the “...mouthpiece
for his heart...” to tell the world of God’s RELENTLESS love for “his”
WAYWARD and ADULTEROUS people.
She had to go ALL IN in order to be “the mouthpiece for God’s heart.” She had
to SHARE “...in his sufferings...” Hosetta
was sharing her testimony with a relative and her relative told her she sounded
like a martyr and SHE WAS. “…Father …not My will, but Yours be done…" (Luke 22:42-43 NIV). “…I do
nothing of myself…”
(John 8:28 KJV).“…the Father
that dwelleth in me, he doeth the works…”
(John 14:10 KJV). “...He ((Hosetta) gave
Himself (herself) over to Him (God, the Holy
Spirit.) ...” (1 Peter 2:23 KJV).
Hosetta DIDN’T and WOULDN’T have chosen to
become a martyr, NOBODY would, especially if they knew what it would cost.
Hosetta stopped trying to explain or
defend her journey to people after that conversation with her cousin. Unless
you’ve given your life over to God, in the way she had been empowered to do,
you wouldn’t understand her commitment to her marriage to George or the call
upon her life. “..though
he slay me, yet
will I trust in him…” (Job 13:15 KJV). “…the faithful followers of the Lord … keep their promises even when it hurts…”
(Psalm 15:4 NLT). “...That
I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings,
being made conformable unto his death…”(Philippians 3:10 KJV). Jesus“… humbled himself and became obedient unto death (to self), even the death of the
cross (to the call upon his life)...” (Philippians 2:8 KJV). You see, “….the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others
and to give his
life as a ransom for many" (Matthew 20:28 NIV).
She was not a martyr, because SHE wanted
to be or because it had been a dream of hers, but because God, the indwelling Holy Spirit had empowered her to become a martyr. What it worth it? “...Yes, everything
else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my
Lord. For his sake I have
discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain
Christ...” (Philippians 3:8 NLT).
When Hosetta begin to look over the
autobiography of her marriage, she saw clearly how George, often, didn’t live
up to the covenant vows he’d made with her. God ALWAYS understood what she was
going through with George. “…
[MY PEOPLE]… FORGOT all about ME,” says the Lord…” (Hosea 2:13 NLT). “…for years on end my people have FORGOTten ME…”
(Jeremiah 2:32 NLT).
Her covenant
relationship with George was MORE than a marriage; it was a MESSAGE. This was
the CRUX of the LIFE she lived for God’s glory! “…Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy
soul, and with all thy mind…” (Matthew 22:36-40 KJV). “…‘We’ve
given up everything to follow you…” (Mark
10:28-31 NLT).
These scriptures spoke to her heart: “... I desire you more than anything on earth...” (Psalm 73:23-26
NLT). “….everything else
is worthless when compared with the
infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus [my]… Lord...”
(Philippians 3:8 NLT). “...God
remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever...” (Psalm 73:23-26 NLT). “...my
portion for ever...” (Psalm
73:25-26 KJV). “... I said to the Lord, “You are my Master! Every good thing I have comes from you...” (Psalm 16:2 NLT).
.“…Anyone who wants to be my follower must
love me far more than he(she) does his(her) own father, mother, wife, children,
brothers, or sisters—yes, more than his(her) own life—otherwise he(she) cannot be my disciple” (Luke
14:26 NLT).
Hosetta KNEW,
regardless or how she or anyone else judged her, as a fool, for staying with
George, she would be a FOOL for God. First and foremost, she decided to STAY
married to her WAYWARD husband until God released her. How long she would have to stay DID concern
her, because, she was becoming more and more aware that God’s love was relentless
for George. AGAIN scripture informed her of God's kind of love. “…Know
therefore that the Lord your God
is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant
of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his
commandments…”
(Deuteronomy 7:6-9 NIV).
“…If
we are unfaithful, he remains faithful,
for he cannot deny who he is…” (2 Timothy 2:13 NLT). “… The …
FAITHFUL love of the Lord, [for you], NEVER ENDS...!”(Lamentations
3:22-23 NLT). .“…[The faithful God LOVES] ...
[HIS PEOPLE] ...with an everlasting love ...” (Jeremiah 31:3 KJV).
“…I am with you always, to the very end…"(Matthew
28:20 NIV). God will “…Never leave
nor forsake you…”
(Hebrews 13:5 KJV). “…Behold, I
am with … [you] and will keep … [you]
whithersoever [you]… goest…I
will not leave [you] ..." (Genesis 28:15 ASV).
God had put that SAME commitment
into Hosetta’s heart for George. “… [wives]... love your
...[husbands]... just
as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for [it]…”
(Ephesians 5:25 NASB). “….as I have loved you… love one another ….” (John 13:34 ASV).
Hosetta wouldn’t LEAVE him, but he could
freely choose to LEAVE HER. “…[Nothing]…will be able to separate us from the love of God,
which is in Christ Jesus our Lord…”(Romans
8:31-39 NASB).
“…The Lord
God, [IS] merciful …” (Exodus 34:6 KJV).“… HE
DELIGHTETH IN MERCY…” (Micah 7:18 KJV). “…In this world we are like Jesus…” (1 John 4:17
NIV). “…Mercy triumphs over
judgement.” (James 2:13 NASB). “…There is no greater love than [this]…” (John
15:13 NLT).
To
JUDGE the love God empowered Hosetta to have for WAYWARD George, through his powerful indwelling Holy Spirit,
was to also JUDGE the love he had for her and for HIS people. “…[He GAVE] ... His life a ransom for many...”
(Matthew 20:28 KJV). “…God
“IS” LOVE…” (1 John 4:4-8 KJV). “… “I
AM” WHO I AM…”
(Exodus 3:14-15 NASB). “…The Lord
loves His people …” (2 Chronicles 2:11 NASB). “…There is no greater love than [this]…” (John
15:13 NLT).
If God DIDN’T spare Jesus from
suffering in order to SEND his message of love to HIS people, who was Hosetta
to complain. She was one of the beneficiaries of his sacrificial life. God “…spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us
all….” (Romans 8:32 KJV). “…God so loved the world that HE GAVE his only begotten
Son…” (John 3:16 KJV). “...[Jesus]... said, It is finished…” (John 19:28-30 KJV). “… I la[id]... down my life...
[FOR YOU] …” (John 10:17-18 KJV). Jesus did “…not come
to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many...”
(Matthew 20:28 KJV). “... Herein is love, not that we loved God, but
that he loved us and SENT His SON to be the propitiation (substitute,
intervention) for our sins.” (1
John 4:10 KJV). “…There is
no greater love …”
(John 15:13 NLT).
Thus, Hosetta put her
life into God’s hands. “…[YOUR]… TIMES are
in [God’s]…hand…” (Psalms 31:15a KJV). “…[YOUR]… FUTURE is in [God’s].. hands…” (Psalms
31:15a NLT). “….To every [thing there is] a season, and A TIME to every purpose under the heaven…” (Ecclesiastes
3:1 KJV). “…For the vision [is] yet FOR AN APPOINTED TIME, but at the end it shall
speak, and not lie: though it tarry, WAIT FOR IT; because IT WILL SURELY COME….” (Habakkuk
2:3 KJV).
Like
the old song sang, Hosetta had opened her mouth to the Lord and was not
turning back. Plus she had also come TOO FAR by faith and COULDN’T turn back, Even though,
being married to George HURT often, she was committed to keeping her vows to
God, the Holy Spirit.
“…The faithful followers of the Lord … keep their promises even
when it hurts…” (Psalm 15:4 NLT).
“…In this world we are like Jesus…” (1 John 4:17
NIV).
“… he remains faithful, for
he cannot deny who
he is…” (2
Timothy 2:13 NLT).
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